Apologies for the long post!
Hoping someone can help who has been in a similar position. My DD is 11 and started secondary school last Sept. She has always been what we have called 'quirky' in the sense that she didn't seem to 'fit' with other girls and has only ever had 1-1 friendships. She has always preferred to be around adults.
Since puberty has hit and with being in a new school environment and the pressures that inevitably brings her emotions have become very heightened, she is crying easily and often, can't express how she is feeling and on reflection has never been able to articulate how she is feeling. Getting her to talk about her emotions is like pulling teeth, I genuinely don't think she knows herself. She is extremely in tune with other peoples emotions and because of this has always been a very considerate, kind and well behaved girl. Never pushes boundaries, never puts a foot wrong to be honest, she is terrified of getting a detention at school and gets so overwhelmed with the large amount of homework she has but always gets it done on time.
My DH and I had a frank conversation over Christmas, when her behavior was becoming even more hyperactive and emotional and we both acknowledged that she displays the below traits:
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Sensory issues with clothes, can't wear anything long sleeved and if she could live in shorts and t-shirt she would even in arctic conditions. She had sports leggings and a hoodie on a few days ago and took them off rapidly saying she couldn't breath in them and then preceded to itch her skin all over. Previously I would battle with her to put certain clothes on which would result in uncontrollable tears from her but now I have started to allow her to wear what she is comfortable in which has helped slightly. Also can't stand the feel of her hair being down so it is constantly in a bobble.
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Unable to swallow certain foods for fear of choking, this is a more recent one, she can eat hard foods including peanuts, cereal, crisps etc but says any kind of potato feels 'funny' as well as anything that feels 'stringy' like melted cheese or certain meats. She has gone off so many foods now because of this.
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She keeps itching her nose , just rubs it repeatedly, even more so when she is excited, hyper or anxious.
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Signs of possible OCD? She says that if things are 'out of place' she can't switch off and gets irritated - she likes everything in her room to be touching the wall, no excess cushions or clutter and for everything to be in a certain position. Has to close the door a few times and make sure the light switch is off in the right way or senses something bad may happen.
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Can't seem to relax, has never been able to sit and watch a whole film, can't have a bath or just chill out it's like her mind has to always be switched on. She always loved reading however the past few months this is less and less.
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Disengages from friends, she had a lot of new friends wanting to message her, meet up etc and at first she did but I noticed her removing herself from group chats on her phone, not replying to any of the girls individual messages either. When she does have a friend over she will suddenly just leave them and come and sit with me or her Dad like she has a cut off point with them. Also noticed she finds most girls annoying and will rant about them although they haven't actually done anything wrong.
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Obsessed with Friends the TV show, knows literally everything about it from all the bloopers, facts etc and when she tells you about them she talks so fast it is hard to understand her but it's like she has to get it all out she honestly knows every single fact there is to know!
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Becomes fidgety a lot and comes across quite intense at times, feel guilty to say it but she can be draining by how much attention she unknowingly demands - second you walk through the door she will be in personal space speaking so fast and repeating herself a lot. We constantly have to tell her to slow down when she speaks.
Sorry for the long post. Could they be possible signs of anything? We have her booked in with a therapist but she is refusing to go, I just want her to feel OK and will do whatever she needs to make sure she is content in her own mind. We have spoken with her Head of Year at School who has also noticed her emotions being erratic, they have school dogs and so she has put her forward to assist with them and give her a leave pass from lessons when she feels anxious.
Any advice, experience would be a huge help - thank you!