We split 2 years ago. He abandoned me when I was pregnant with our second, out of the blue. He put me through hell with emotional abuse the following year, I hit the lowest fo the low. We've both grown and I'm hoping we can remain amicable now as we have 2 children. I have no romantic feelings to him, that ship has well and truly past. I've accepted our separation and would never ever go back.
But I feel sad. I feel sad because I'm a single parent. I feel so envious of family's and family holidays and having someone to share the highs and lows with. I constantly feel threatened by him because he's so up and down and flakey. I never know what to expect.
I just feel sad and I don't want to. I feel sad for me not for "us". I should be happy, waited two years for this...