How much do you do WITH your nine year old?

[parrotonmyshoulder]

Life, like everyone’s, is so busy and complicated. One of the things I really worry about is that I don’t do much with my 9 yo DS. What activities, games, ways is spending time do you do with yours? And what does a typical weekend day look like for them?

We go for walks, to the zoo (we live very near one and have annual passes so go a lot), out to garden centres and have lunch etc. We tend to go out every day we’re all at home together but when we’re at home we do our own thing - he plays on his iPad or the Xbox (in the same room, he doesn’t go upstairs, we all sit together and chat at the same time). Sometimes he’ll play with some lego or read. Sometimes we might play a board game or chess. 9 is a funny age really because they still need you a lot and they’re still young but they’re learning to enjoy their own things (I also have a 19 year old dd and she was very much the same at this age)!

(Meant to add we don’t restrict screen time. So a typical weekend day is slobbing out on the sofa in the morning on the iPad / watching tv, then either having lunch out somewhere or having lunch home and then going for a walk, then home and lego / iPad / maybe a film if there’s time, then dinner and bath and reading etc. Most of our weekends are out somewhere - yesterday we went swimming as a family and then on a country walk and today we’re heading into the nearest city as we have Tesco Clubcard vouchers for pizza express…)

I have a ds just under 9 and he has become so much more independent in the last while.

He had swimming lessons on a Sunday and after that he's allowed his games (fifa) as he doesn't get them on weekdays

So I make a point of playing cards together or draughts. We might make flapjacks or we got for a walk to a local art trail. When it warms up a bit I will go out and play football with him but to be honest. It's January.

They are busy all week at school so don't feel bad if they just 'be'

DD is 8, so not quite the same - we walk the dogs together, do craft activities together, sometimes cook together. She also plays alone, goes on her iPad or Nintendo and we invite her friends round. So a mix.

Typical weekend we usually try and set up at least one playdate, go on a long dog walk, we read together, she will play by herself for a bit, sure. Last weekend we sat down at the kitchen table and did a squishies painting kit she got for Christmas.

We eat all meals together, and on a weekend, tend to do at least one daily activity that gets us all out. Perhaps a walk to the beach or a longer visit to a National Trust site with a picnic. Not much otherwise though. She is in her room on her laptop/phone a lot. Before bed, her dad or I will bath her and her brother, or will run her own bath for her. She'll then watch 20 minutes or so of a film with us following that. On a term time Saturday, she spends 10 until 2 at drama school. She'll occasionally help with baking, gardening etc

Eldest DS is 9, coming up for 10. He will play iPad or Xbox given any opportunity. We make sure at weekends he does his football which takes up the morning, we will go for a long walk in the afternoon and then in the late afternoon we will either play a board game or a family game on the switch, eat dinner together and then he has a bath and bed like his siblings.

Week nights he has to do homework before he can have free time, which is iPad or Xbox usually with his brother.

Similar to others - yesterday she did some baking, which she wanted to do by herself, watched a film with us and played a few card games. Right now she’s on her VR headset, we’re going swimming in a bit then she’s going to see if her best friend can come over or she’ll hang out at his. She’s becoming really independent now so I feel flattered when she does choose to spend time with us!

Our 9 year old needs a lot of physical exercise or she becomes bored and destructive (this makes her sound like a dog!) so yesterday I took her to her swimming class and then watched her play on the skateboard ramp in the park on her scooter. Then she played basketball in the garden while I made lunch. Today DH will probably take her to the BMX track. The rest of the weekend I might take the odd took at what she's doing in Minecraft and Animal Crossing and we will probably fight with her repeatedly about homework, music practice, washing and eating .

Took? Look.

Ds is 10 and our youngest child.
On a Saturday dh takes him to football in the morning then they come back and we’ll have a cooked brunch usually with the older 2 aswell.
Early afternoon we either play a board game, or, most likely, he’ll play on his switch/read a book. Late afternoon he and dh tend to go to the snooker club for a few games. We all eat together in the evening, ds likes helping to make puddings.
Sundays we all try and get out for a walk, often with other family members, then we might go to the pub for refreshments. Last weekend we just went to the beach and had lunch out.
Sunday evenings at the moment we have a fire, he likes to go and get the logs and sets the fire for us. He’ll sit with us and we have a chat. He’s quite sociable but dislikes going out for walks although if he knows we’re meeting others, he’s more amenable.

Plus she plays with the kids next door a lot and they are younger so we have to supervise. She is very keen to be independent in all things though.

This weekend there was a playdate, actually been busy 3 separate playdates this week! But just for the weekend ~ Saturday playdate from around 12pm until a sports club in the evening (this is weekly).
Today Sunday ~ might go for a walk, no restrictions on screentime on the weekend either. Often we read together or play a board game. Sometimes go into town for coffee/cake (not every weekend though).
Not every weekend looks the same bar the scheduled sports club.
I've found a good thing to do & in line with their interests is to actually play a game with them (like roblox games).

Thanks everyone. I need to stop worrying as what we do sounds very similar to what you’ve all said.
I often feel like our life revolves around DD as she is ‘trickier’ but I think DS is happy being let to ‘be’. He’s not much of a talker. He really loves walks together, coming to do the shopping, anything we play together. I need to let go for the other bits.

Using this weekend as an example, yesterday 9 year old watched her iPad in the morning, then we all went out to run a few errands. She then did some reading and then she and DS went on a bike ride with DH. We had dinner all together which she helped cook.
Today she's been on her iPad, then I played junior cluedo with her a couple of times. Shortly we are going for a walk then out for lunch with some extended family. She enjoys reading a lot so will often fill a few hours over a weekend curled up with a book on the sofa.

We usually go out to do something one day at the weekend, hike, bike ride, swim or other sporting activity. Then she has homework to do and music practice. At the moment she's been playing Lego with DS for the past 3 hours. She'll often go out to play with the neighbours children if the weather is good, if it's not then we play a board game together. Randomly gets all the craft stuff out and spends an hour to two building things.

If they're ready for bed at a sensible time, we'll watch a film or one of those baking challenges with them (Final Table, Zumbo, Bakineering etc).

We're trying to cut back on screen time because it was affecting their behaviour - today DD has had none and yesterday, after homework she a little over 60 minutes.

I've found this thread quite reassuring too OP! My DD has some SEN so it's good to know our weekends aren't that weird.

For comparison, my DPs did very little with us. It wasn't expected that they would (1970s). My DM did take us to activities etc, but she was a SAHM and we did a lot of art (because she enjoyed it). Our grandparents were a bit more hands-on.

Dd2 is 9. He favourite thing to do with me is watch masked singer.

Also home decoration programmes.

Sometimes we rearrange and dress her barbies.