Help me get shopping for first bra right!

[coviduality]

DD will be 11 in a couple of weeks, and is hitting puberty hard. She's a bit above average height for her age, a bit overweight, but in a sporty sort of way, ie chunky all over but strong and in proportion. She's wearing size 12-13 clothes.
She's been wearing crop tops for the last year or so, but her boobs seem to have suddenly grown over the last couple of weeks, and she started her periods last week.
She's feeling a bit low and sad, she doesn't want to have a 'lady's body', all of her friends have very tall athletic physiques and are nowhere near even starting puberty.
So, tomorrow I'm going to take her bra (and period pants) shopping. She's feeling v self conscious, she's worried that someone will 'try to help us', which she would hate, but she knows she needs a bra.
I measured her this evening, to avoid having to interact with anyone in shops, and the boob or bust website says she's a 28D! I'm not massively surprised as I'm a 32K and I don't think my boobs are enormous, but she is upset I think.
How can I manage tomorrow in the most sensitive way? Is M&S the best place to go? John Lewis? Steer clear of VS Pink right?! I want it to be a really positive experience but she just wants to be a little girl still .

We've got period pants from modibodi online, they are the best ones we've found. The primark ones are ok for the lighter days and that awkward time when you aren't sure if you're suddenly going to come on!

My DD would have been mortified by going to a shop. I measured her and bought some for her to try at home. Explained what she needed to look for to make sure that they fitted. Bought some fairly inexpensive ones while she was still growing.
You might need to skip the starter bras if she's already a D. There are lots of nice, fun undies out there. As she's struggling a bit with growing up, maybe avoid anything too sophisticated for now. My DD has found having a woman's body shape quite disconcerting. The change in her waist and hips really threw her.

My daughter loves a crop top style from M&S that has wide straps and weird padded removable cup inserts. In normal sizes eg 10,12, very soft and stretchy (known as boob socks in our house). No idea what bra size she would be but these are doing the job at the moment and don’t look like bras.

On the website it’s called Flexifit non-wired crop top, and doesn’t need “fitting”.

I did BoB for DD and came out with 28D or 28DD. The M&S Angel bras in that size didn’t go anywhere near her, they had 21 inch underband. It was really expensive ordering a few sizes and DD was miffed about having to try on bras at home and still be left with nothing.

Poor DD. I would be inclined to order bras online - either with DD's input or if she doesn't want to think about it just get a selection and she can try them at home and choose which ones she wants to keep. Even if you want to have a mother-daughter day out to make DD feel better, you could do that without including the indignity of bra shopping, and if she needs reassurance that she can still be your little girl it would be anyway better to take her to Build A Bear or whatever little-girl thing she enjoys!

I got a few of these bras for D-cup teen recently - they are supportive but not wired and she loves them, have even spotted her wearing one for lounging around at home. Band size goes down to 30 which should be OK for your DD.
www.johnlewis.com/anyday-john-lewis-partners-willow-non-wired-bra/almond/p5039080

As for period pants I think these are much of a muchness but again I would just get on and order some rather than take DD shopping. Sounds like she'll just be embarrassed.

Bravissimo do start at 28, also Boux Avenue and Debenhams, I got my dds first bras there

Thank you guys so much for helping me think more clearly about this. We're going to go into town, buy hot chocolate, go admire the jellycat soft toys in selfridges and then have a look at some bras in passing, out of the sides of our eyes, so she can show me the styles she likes, maybe try on ONE if she's feeling brave.
Then primark for pants and maybe some pyjamas and home to buy bras online!
I will let you know how it all goes and if I glean any useful info

I think that sounds lovely. Primark is a good shout for the period pants as you can hide them in a huge pile of other purchases!

I think that's a fine plan.

Good plan but I honestly wouldn't make such a fuss, I'd have been mortified at that age. I've never been a fan of bras though, sports bras all the way.

I took my 11 year old daughter to John Lewis in Cambridge. She had been wearing bralets for a while but asked for something a bit more structured, so it was her decision, so a bit different from your daughter. They measured her as 30D and had some lovely soft non wired bras in pink, blue, black and neutral. Was a good experience but my daughter hit puberty at just 10 and is very body positive and confident so no worries there

I mean no worries as in she wasn't bothered about a stranger seeing her etc...

Bravissimo will definitely have her size. The assistant will look at her in her clothes and assess size and then find some bras just to test fit. They wait outside the changing room until you've got the bra on then check for fit, so no seeing anybody topless.
Once they know the correct size, they'll then ask what colour and size is preferred.
DD2 is a similar size to your dd, but older. She ended up with two bras she really liked (they made her 'feel secure') and a card with the details of the two bras she got and the other bra that she liked.

Asda george do a great first bras selection. My 12 year old needed her first bra last year, she would have been mortified and found it hugely embarrassing being measured in a shop by a stranger and I didn't want to put her through that. George do first bras by fitting size and also some by age size aswell all at a very good price. we ordered a few and found some that fitted her perfectly. she was happy.