What do you do when you have no refuge/sanctuary?

[Notgettingbetter]

When my mental health is poor I often wish I had a room where I could tuck myself into bed and have a cry in peace. That's impossible in our house - old terraced two-up, two down with the only bathroom off our bedroom. DD has the other bedroom. Downstairs is open plan. There is literally nowhere to hide. DD is four and very social and noisy - stomps around the house, leaving mess everywhere and constantly pestering. I find the weekends so hard, especially in winter, and my partner is not keen to invite her friends over because he's knackered (DD still doesn't sleep through and he's been dealing with the wakings because my meds really knock me out) and he worries about Covid.

How do you cope if you are in a similar situation?

Anyone?

I escape in the car. Drive through McDonalds and park ip somewhere pretty / peaceful to eat it!

Do you drive?

A drive thru McDonalds or Starbucks is genuinely one of my greatest pleasures.

Great minds @Toeraggie

Get DH to take her to the playground for a while too?

I don't drive. The playgrounds are too cold and soggy lately and my partner exhausted.

I go for a walk.

In your situation I might stick some head phones in.

I hope you feel better soon, it won't always this hard. Any chance of going for a bath, locking the door, you can sob while the water runs if you feel you need to be unheard.

@Lemonysnicker

I escape in the car. Drive through McDonalds and park ip somewhere pretty / peaceful to eat it!

Snap.

I think going for a walk might be the best option really. Though DD would cry and fuss about me going out without her. She's asleep in bed now so we have a little peace - I think I will go to bed soon myself. I've had enough of today already.

As much as it is wet children don’t care about that- pull on some waterproof trousers and coats ( I get our from Lidl or eBay ) and wellies and go for a walk. No matter how tired I am, how not up to it I’m feeling I never ever regreT it. Change of scenery is good, your DD will get out for some fresh air and I find I can let my mind wander as DC are preoccupied with whatever they see/ play with outside so less draining / demanding than when we are in the house . This morning we were the only people in the play park as rained away and my children didn’t care and had a great time and I was able to mindlessly push a swing or watch them without much mental effort xx

I go to the woods.
I find a corner out of the way and I sit, listen to nature, soak in the ambience until my jangly nerves and stretched tether is back to somewhat normal.

I sometimes take a small little.metal Twig Stove and some kindling to have a fire and make a coffee.

I know how you feel. Our house is pretty much the same as yours minus the ensuite and it feels like I can't escape from the kids at all. Oldest has just gone to sleep and I'm too tired to do anything but stare at my phone.

If my partner has a day off too I leave the kids with him for and go for a walk with my headphones in. I don't even care if it's pouring rain, it is so worth it to just be alone.

I go to the nearest shop for something small or hide in the bathroom and read MN for a bit however it’s tricky as we’ve got only one bathroom. Another solution for me is putting music or radio on and to do washing up while DH and DD are doing something together (my DD is much older but has additional needs). It takes my mind off things a bit.

I also have a cup of tea on my own after she’s gone to bed, I need it to get rid of day stresses.
Tbh my goal is usually not to cry at least until the evening because once I’ve started it’s difficult to stop and my DD can see that I have been crying and asking questions. I used to go for a walk with her when she was younger basically to and from, familiar route so I could talk to her automatically.

When we Iived in our previous house which was a bit like yours, I would make sure everyone had been to the loo and then lock myself in the bathroom and have a bath. For two hours. Xx