Anyone else feeling more lonely and sad than ever with Covid regulations etc?

[Randomuser9876]

I'm not sure if there are any answers to this or I just want to ask if others feel the same.

Since March 2020 I feel so lonely and sad and it's not getting any better. I live with DH who's lovely and my 2dds so obviously people are much more isolated than me but I'm an extrovert and massively realise now that I get my energy from being with others.

I wfh 4 days a week (all my work hours) and so miss going into the office, wearing nice clothes, having a laugh with colleagues, bumping into people on the train.

I've stopped going to the gym as it was closed for a year and the main thing I like (spinning) doesn't seem very covid safe in tiny studio. I've put on heaps of weight and feel shit.

Most of dds activities have gone online (Carol concerts /parents evening etc) so those micro interactions that you have with people don't exist. Even school gates etc have changed and people keep themselves to themselves much more.

Things were starting up a bit last year and we started going into the office for meetings but Omicron has put an end to that and people so much less likely to organise stuff or risk it which I do understand.

But it's left me feeling crap. Everything feels so much more difficult now and just when I saw a light at the end of the tunnel dd2 got covid so we're back to home schooling /juggling work blah blah blah.

I feel like I've totally lost myself and don't know how to get that back, DH wfh full time too and although I adore him we're totally sick of each other!!! I have some great friends and do catch up with them when I can but everyone busy with kids/life/work and there's always some covid issue or another to consider. When I have organised stuff it's left me feeling shattered for days in a way it never would before.

Does everyone feel like this? Will it get better??!!

Don't wear a mask if you don't want to - the rule to wear one will be scrapped shortly. Our office lets you go in for mental health reasons so you could do that? And if you are triple vax you have nothing to fear from a spin studio!

Yes the restrictions are super annoying but you also need to start doing things to help yourself rather than blaming everything on covid. If you no longer like your gym then find a new one, or maybe an outdoor boot camp or cycling/running/walking group.
You’re exempt from wearing a mask so just don’t. You can’t moan about it both ways!
Start living again.

I hear you.

We have a critically vulnerable person in the household, so life has been even narrower for us than for most. And it's become tough. It been getting worse as it goes along, and isn't helpedwhen people assume that if you are taking a more precautionary approach you must be neurotically over-anxious, or when they say that the very vulnerable were going to die anyway (not true and so heartless - it just 'others' us, making it even lonelier)

And on top of that I feel utterly de-skilled socially - we don't have much in the way of those casual little pleasant interactions that keep you connected

This winter has been particularly bad with events cancelled 'because Covid' when they legally could have gone ahead. The people locking themselves down. I've found that more depressing than actual lockdowns.

DS had his sixth form info evening online and he barely engaged with it at all. Another school he's interested in had the event in person so his school could have done the same.

Can you find some people who are happy to be out and about and meet up if your friends are reluctant? I’m a teacher and as I’m working in what is a comparatively risky environment (although it doesn’t worry me), I haven’t stopped going to busy places to socialise, or to the gym. Maybe join a running group, they’ll still be meeting, or try and find something like a book group who are meeting in person (local Facebook groups are good for that sort of thing). If there isn’t one already, maybe suggest starting one, possibly via parents art your kids school (if you have kids), or work colleagues who DO actually want to meet in person. Also, maybe try a different gym, the one I go to doesn’t use spray, just wipes, are you allergic to that? Or even something like a Yoga or Pilates studio, where you take your own mat would work, so you’re not coming into contact with anything that has been used and cleaned by others.

Don’t wear a mask - you have a health condition which means you can’t. Enjoy mask free activities.

Go to your spin class. The worst that can happen is you catch the current variant and unless you’re CEV you’ll be absolutely fine. Stop limiting your life over a cold.

That's how I feel nether, it's the little interactions you miss. Must be so hard when you've got a clinically vulnerable person to think about too. I do bits for my elderly parents and last year everything felt like a huge risk assessment. It's exhausting.

I'm not blaming everything on Covid JenniferAlisonPhilippaSue but the increased restrictions before Christmas and covid cases in our house have tipped the scales further against my restored mental health! You're right though, I could do an outdoors class, will look into it.

I am a normally happy introvert op and I am really struggling now too. Feel like I have lost my wider group of friends, as everyone has drifted a bit. But also really lost my social skills and confidence. I feel quite lonely at times.

Fair enough OP, you said in your original post it was because it didn’t feel very covid secure which is why I said that. Have you considered something like park run? I Havnt actually tried it (not my thing, plus I’m a total introvert!) but I understand it’s quite social, and obviously no masks or cleaning issues required

Yeah sorry WorriedGiraffe I didn't explain that very well! Park run a good idea, I need to do outdoors exercise anyway as the antibac factor puts me off.

I feel the same way @Snowdropsinourforest

Keep the faith. We really are at the end now. I now am hopeful that the government will lift most of the remaining restrictions very soon. Hang in there.

@Randomuser9876

Yeah sorry WorriedGiraffe I didn't explain that very well! Park run a good idea, I need to do outdoors exercise anyway as the antibac factor puts me off.

Parkrun is great. It doesn't have to be very sociable but it's just nice to have that group with a shared purpose. You do get to recognise regulars with time and if you want more social connection, volunteering is a great way to get talking.

It's one of the things that is feeling properly normal.

I'm actually more introvert than anything else and I'm struggling right now too. All the places where I would socialise with people have been restricted so much that I have lost a lot of the hard won confidence I had just before lockdown 1. I'm sure I shouldn't feel so bad as I have worked in a hospital throughout so still see all my colleagues everyday but my job did change due to covid early on and isn't really working for me now which isn't really helping how I feel.

Trying to look at ways to help myself and find I'm drawn to threads like this one. Everyone feeling a bit crap gets my sympathy, these last 2 years have been hard!

Im feeling a lot more hopeful this weekend than I was last weekend. I met a friend for coffee yesterday and DH and I went out for a drink earlier today. I work in a school office so work also feels quite normal. I think I was suffering a bit with the January blues last week but we’ve booked a weekend away next month which has cheered me up no end. I think plan B restrictions will come to an end later this month - hooray. Hopefully we will have a normal spring and summer, then boosters and a normal winter 🤞!

My dad's friend, age 13, can't wear a mask and is massively massively self conscious about it. It is understandable. But you absolutely must go out sometimes.

Also, I have a long term chronic health condition which means I can't get out much anyway. Lockdown changed life somewhat for me but once things opened up I found I could still take part in only a limited amount of activities because of my health. Don't put that on yourself if you don't have to, OP. Get out for a run/walk. Go to the supermarket. Meet a friend for coffee.

Dd's friend!!

@Snowdropsinourforest

It is also the stealth way in which the restrictions have increased, so although we are not 'officially' in lockdown, we kind of are if there are no shows running, no events, nothing planned anywhere. It is a lockdown by the back door. Many people didn't plan anything for January expecting a hardcore lockdown that never happened, and now we are all hanging in that super uncomfortable space of uncertainty and limbo.

I can do lockdowns if I have to
I can do real life
What I find hard is limbo and not really knowing from one week to the next what the hell is happening. Not being able to plan very much, and having so little to do. We need pleasure and fun again, laughter and a sense of the carefree life we used to have (to some extent)

Have a party next weekend?

I agree with a lot of this.

I haven't had a Christmas this year. Again.
No family school events.
My core of friends didn't socialise for a multitude of reasons including and beyond Christmas.
I'm temporarily abstaining from one of my youth activities because I can't lip read and the acoustics in our venue are terrible without speech being muffled. It's one of those contexts where mask rules are ridiculous. The children are u11 so don't need them, but the handful of adults (who are vaccinated) do. What does that actually achieve?
I got Covid over Christmas so had to cancel seeing family.
I don't want to be in church while masks are mandated so there was no spiritual element.

Admittedly some of it is my choice to withdraw but that's because I find places where masks are mandated stressful and unpleasant so lose the benefit of participating.

My friends have had a tough couple of years, both with Covid demands at work (NHS/ education) and with personal lives. One is CEV so we don't want to plan things that exclude her while cases are high. We've lost the habit too.

Yesterday I did an indoor swim for the first time in nearly 2 years. I could have done it far, far sooner but my head had escalated changes like pre-booking and logistics if it was busy (I always did get lane rage ) A lot of it was lost habit. I have been doing outdoor swimming instead which is great, but I needed to last more than 10 minutes.

Lockdowns shrunk my world to hanging around the house and going walking/ running and a lot of my routines were lost for a long time and subject to disruption. As "large scale events" my running races didn't get back to normal until the autumn and with so much disruption and short notice cancellation to my routines, by last spring it was really hard to rebuild yet again. There was a great AIBU around May of a similar vein to this about people feeling flat. I'm in a much better place now than I have been, but it's still not right and normal. I think it will move forwards to something more recognisably normal into the spring though

Go back to your spin classes. Better for your health in the long term even if you do get Covid there. You will get somewhere else anyway at some point.