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is it time to call this relations quits???

4 replies

belladona24 · 15/01/2022 15:04

Hello!!

So I've been with the same guy for about 3 years now, last year during the lockdown period, we decided to ditch the UK and move to a small island in the meditation. Living the dream right? Nope.

Ever since I landed here (over a year now) its been pretty sad! He's been distant and unhappy, pushing me away and big time mood swings, and over the last year out intimacy has been no existent . I've been pretty patient and supportive over the last year, but I'm loosing my shit now. Basically he no longer wants to be here. So we have decided to live separately until we figure out what's next. The plan has always been to travel the world and find somewhere to settle down. I love him so so much and would follow him to the end of the earth. I am not happy that we are no longer living together, although it was my idea. I wanted to be supportive and give him time and space to sort his head out, as he's been pretty down, and very distant. When I look into his eyes or kiss him I just cant feel him. He's there physically but his eyes are like tunnels. Anyway, we want the same things in future, to travel have fun and find somewhere to call home together. But like I said I'm not happy we are living apart now. I told him a few days after I started viewing places to live on my own I didn't want this, yet here I am one month later in my own place waiting for him to come visit me. I feel pretty hurt and broken by this. Although I know its not forever, he's seen how upset its made me and wanted to go through with it anyway. And as I wait here for him, I don't feel excited. I feel scared. It's going to be the same as before, the same sad distance between us although he will be right next to me. And wants the point of even trying to kiss or touch him, for the past year he's just pushed my away, its gotten to the point where I feel embarrassed and dirty for wanting sex from my own boyfriend. But I love him and I cant let him go. I don't want to. Why should I? He is/was my best friend, my soul mate, the only person I've ever loved, ever liked, ever wanted in my live. I cant give him up. what's the point is living without him....or even with him. I cant sleep, I cant concentrate at work. All I think about was how happy we were. Am I a drama queen, or is it time to move on? I want him in my future, but if its like this now will it het better?
Fuckkkk im going crazy here!!!
Thxs:)

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 15/01/2022 15:07

I'm afraid it's time to move on, OP. He's given up on a relationship and has told you he's doing that, too.

Mumdiva99 · 15/01/2022 15:17

Yes. Call it quits. Move on. Start planning your adventure. Decide where you are going going next and where after that. Make it a positive trip....what do YOU want to see and experience? Are you working your way around the world or just having an extended holiday? Do you have family at home - will you build in time to see them first? Or during the trip? Look after you and your needs. Don't hang around on this island for him....only stay in you want to be there for you. Put you first. If he doesn't want to be there then he can make his own plans. Good luck.

PurpleMauve · 15/01/2022 15:20

It sounds like the relationship is over. One year is a longggg time for him to be pushing you away and even for just a kiss. I assume you don’t have kids, which makes it easier to leave. You’ve already living apart and that was your decision for a reason. Luckily, you’ve got a job and are hopefully completely financially independent without him. Just be done with it once and for all. Life is too short. If you have plans for friendship, intimacy, love, commitment, marriage and/or possibly children with a partner, this isn’t it.

I’m guessing that you may also be lonely and may not have many new friends since leaving the UK. If so, it’s also okay to pack up and leave, go back to the UK or somewhere else.

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inheritancetrack · 15/01/2022 19:09

He doesn't want to be with you any longer I'm afraid. It's desperately hard to accept that sometimes. Give yourself some time when you don't contact him to get your head straight, then move on

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