Help with a situation at school

[wanttokickoffbutcant]

My daughter is in YR7 So has only been in the school a few months. She has had an issue with another girl (who she was at Juniors with) for a few years but it has kind of come to a head now. The girl chucked a substance over my daughter and arranged for it to be filmed and uploaded online. The school have been superficially supportive but I don't know what I should do really. They have a police liaison office who is going to be in touch next week but should I report before that? The girl has been sanctioned but I don't think that the punishment was enough. There have been other instances since this happened and my daughter was verbally abused (outside of school).
Any advice really appreciated (also am not the kind to kick off but also won't back down on this).

Gosh that's awful. I would probably make my own report to the police on this scenario. Hope your DD is ok.

Yes I would report to the police too. I’d the school haven’t acted appropriately by now they probably won’t. I’m so sorry this has happened to your daughter x

If not i’d

If it didn't happen in school or on the way to or from school then they will be limited in what they can do.
You need to report it to the police before you speak to the schools liaison officer, they may pick it up but it wont increase any school sanctions.
If they are in the same lessons ask for your daughter to be moved if they work on two year halves ask for her to move to the opposite half if they are currently in the same one.
Make sure your daughter or you sre reporting everything that happens with the other girl even if only minor. It builds up a pictireand gives the school more ammunition against her.
Report anything happening outside school to the police.

I would have made a report to the police before the school tbh.

Report it to the police, explain that it's now escalating to things outside of school and that you'd appreciate their intervention.

A conversation with the main perpetrator/s and their parents by the police might be helpful.

Yes, I would report to the police.

Are you absolutely sure it wasn't tit for tat though? And your daughter did nothing to the other girl? Because this is likely to come out if the police investigate and your daughter may end up in equal trouble

The initial incident of throwing happened in school and the subsequent one on the way home. Pretty sure it is not tit for tat. I have a huge record of online abuse from the other girl before I got on top of it - every time my daughter blocks her she makes new accounts.

Was the other girl excluded? If she threw something at your dd and filmed it and posted online in school I would expect a fixed term external exclusion or at least several days in isolation. Presumably there was proof it was the other girl that did it all.
What consequence was she given?

Get your daughter signed up for self defence classes

1.5 days isolation and self defence would not have helped as the girl walked up beside and slung it at her.

Yeah thats not much of a sanction really in the scheme of things that happen in schools.
You can put in a formal complaint that you think its too lenient but its been done now so they are unlikely to go back and add more. You could also raise it with the governors.
You would be better following up with police but as it happened in school they are likely to just pass to the liaison officer to speak to her.

I would be reporting every incident to the police.

@wanttokickoffbutcant

1.5 days isolation and self defence would not have helped as the girl walked up beside and slung it at her.

Was it someone else who filmed the incident, then? I would want that kid hauled over the coals as well.

Just gone back to your original post, where you say the other girl arranged for it to be filmed and uploaded. That suggests she didn't do it herself which would possibly explain the leniancy somewhat as she is potentially only being sanctioned for the throwing. What did she throw? if it was a drink that would be less impactful than say chemicals in a sci lesson or paint from art.
The school may not have been able to prove it was her that arranged the filming and uploading so they cant then sanction for it.

The filmer was also sanctioned. It doesn't really matter what was
thrown, it was arranged to be done publicly and to be humiliating for her.
I am so stressed about this that I can't sleep. It was so obviously arranged as the person filming was already filming my daughter before the other girl walked into the shot and did it. I want to report to 101 but by DH won't.

Report it and speak to the girls parents if you can. In fact I’d be very very tempted to have a word with the girl myself!

Ask the school for a copy of their policy on bullying and also the contact details for the governors.

Cyber bullying and videoing and uploading bullying acts are both illegal. I'd absolutely report it to the police. The schools reaction is nothing short of disgusting.

I remember seeing a few of these types of videos on Facebook a few years back..... The trend didn't last very long when the bullies were exposed and families threatened or the bullies receiving a worse act put on them (not condoning the vigilantes.... Just saying karma has a way of coming back)

I'd report to the police, the offender needs to know that their behaviour will not be tolerated.

I'd also report to the school,make sure you cc in the governors, as they have a duty of care to your daughter. If the bullying is constant & the recent incident took place on school grounds then you need to be asking what they are doing to safeguard your daughter. Look up the safeguarding, bullying and online safety policies for the school (they should be available on the school website). Refer to these in your correspondence so they know that you know what you're talking about. Finally, keep on at them (politely, persistently pester!) - alert them to every incident, make sure that it's done in writing/email and state that you would like receipt of it acknowledged. Essentially you may need to build up a 'case' against the girl/s in question & the school if they are not fulfilling the policies mentioned above.

That’s awful!
You can report it again but if the police liaison officer is involved then it sounds like the school are taking it seriously.

It is worse that it was 2 girls involved but actually this might be a blessing - not only does it show that it was premeditated bullying, but they will also start turning on each other and will try and pass the blame, their parents might also want them to stop being friends - this will really affect them and hopefully make them never want to bully anyone again.

If you don’t want to call 101 to report it then you can report it to the police online.

Don’t approach the parent and definitely don’t approach the child. Let the police deal with it. If you’re not satisfied that school can keep your child safe, then I’d consider moving her elsewhere.

I want to call the police, my husband wants to wait.

I am going to wait until Monday and see what they say