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toddler distressed unless breastfed to sleep - any advice/solidarity?!

5 replies

ellyo · 14/01/2022 12:25

DS is 20m and I'm desperate to start trying to help him sleep through the night. until now he's been largely reliant on breastfeeding to help him back to sleep. He has quite a signficant language delay and I suspect he may be autistic, so I'm not sure how much he understands.

We've had a few minor successes where I've been able to settle him by patting, rocking rather than breastfeeding. This is great and I do it when I can, but we have big problems at other times. he gets super distressed and will smack himself in the face and head, bang his head against the wall, smack his face into the mattress and thrash around for ages in my arms. He's tall and heavy, so this is tricky to manage and obviously I'm concerned about him hurting himself.

I know all the advice is to sing, pat, rock etc to comfort them instead, but the problem is that he just isn't comforted by any of that - he screams more and pushes my hands away.

I really don't know what to do - has anyone else experienced the same thing or have any advice? please be gentle - I'm tired and overwhelmed!

OP posts:
DownWhichOfLate · 14/01/2022 12:53

Do you want to stop breastfeeding? It might be worth waiting a few more months if you can manage it. He obviously knows what he wants! I don’t have advice if you want to stop but I did end up breastfeeding my child for much longer than planned as he would also be distraught if I tried to stop.

TonkinLenkicks · 14/01/2022 12:55

Is there someone else that can help? I had this with my 16 month old and DH did most of the bed times for 2 weeks and that seemed to break the expectation of breastfeeding. I was sick of it by that point.

Rrrob · 14/01/2022 12:56

No advice but solidarity! Dd is also 20 months and feeds to sleep. Been trying and failing to stop for 2 weeks.

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AlexandraEiffel · 14/01/2022 12:59

Is there a reason for stopping? It's a mystery to me how anyone gets a small child to sleep without breastfeeding. I'd keep using it while it works. Unless there's a reason you've not mentioned of course.

Adventsquirrel · 14/01/2022 13:10

I'm in the same boat, I want to stop breastfeeding DD (she's 2y 3m) but she's completely reliant on it for getting to sleep and resettling in the night.
I had the same problem with DS when he was a similar age, his comprehension was very good so I was able to explain that mummy milk was running out and after his last feed we switched to cuddling and listening to an audiobook to help get to sleep and he adapted surprisingly well.
I don't have any other advice I'm afraid, but wish you the best of luck... it's not easy!

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