How do you deal with nosey people?

Teadrinker11 · 2022-01-13T23:00:29+00:00

I've come across a good few nosey people and never have any clue how to politely deal with them / drop a hint. How do you deal with nosey people?

Havilland · 13/01/2022 23:03

Tell them straight.

‘Why do you want to know that?’

‘Of what possible concern or interest is that to you?’

‘I don’t think you need to know that.’

‘That’s not really any of your business, is it?’

‘Crikey, you are really nosey!’

‘Who died and made you the neighbourhood Sticky Beak?’

jo55ie · 13/01/2022 23:09

I change the subject and ask them something about them that they love.
You know they're nosey so can plan your responses. When they ask the dreaded nosey b question ... do the whole thinking thing.. then say something like "oh I know what I've been meaning to ask you" ... and go for your distract !! Nosey &uggers

Conspiracyornotr · 14/01/2022 09:23

Be honest and tell them straight keep their nose out of business that isn't theirs . Some people love a gossip

Willdoitlater · 14/01/2022 10:04

Just be vague and non-commital

Fine thanks
I haven’t decided yet
I don't know
Not much/yet/my decision

If that fails
Oh, we're keeping that private. (Repeat as often as required).

Montana7 · 14/01/2022 11:37

Following as I keep attracting the nosy Nellie's myself!

DrunkenKoala · 14/01/2022 11:43

Ask them why they want/need to know that. Usually their answer is “just interested” I tend to just leave it hanging there.

Roosk · 14/01/2022 11:53

I've had moments in the past where I've amused myself by telling them incredibly unlikely things 'Oh, that scar [about an inch long] is from a shark attack'/'Oh, we don't have any bedrooms -- we just all sleep on a mat in the living room, bedrooms are so old-fashioned' (this was to someone who seemed obsessed with how many bedrooms were in our new house) or telling them different things each time they nose ('I'm an operatic bass baritone'/'I design sex robots'/'I run a gang of crack toddler pickpockets' or whatever), but usually I just leave a pause and ask why they want to know whatever it is.

Don't bother being polite. If they are that unable to control their curiosity about your salary/house cost/your child's reading band, they'll be too dense to take a hint.

Sn0tnose · 14/01/2022 12:53

Wow, you ask a lot of questions, my palms are starting to sweat! Were you trained by the KGB?

Why would you think that would be an appropriate question to ask someone?

I don’t think we’re close enough to be sharing that level of information

Oh I never discuss finances/relationships etc.

How much do YOU earn?

Mind your own sodding business.

Joined4this · 14/01/2022 13:15

I tried tell someone I wasn’t going to answer that with a smile and they got very aggressive with me. Now I just joke instead then ask them a question. I can talk about nothing of substance for hours luckily.

However, for that type of person who asks direct questions with piercing stare over and over I might joke about them keeping a spreadsheet or writing an article or something to let it be known they are being too intrusive.

From the other side of things, as I said privacy is great, talk about nothing if you like, but if you won’t answer any questions at all or chat in any way, conversation can get limited. There has to be a two way flow. Sometimes people just ask questions to initiate a convo or show interest.

Buytoomuchonebay · 14/01/2022 13:28

We moved into the house we now live in and it turned out the lady over the road knew a friend of ours and is the most nosey woman I’ve ever met
She was quizzing our mate on what sort of people we where and my friend just kept saying that we where lovely people but this woman kept digging-but would only say hello to us if we saw her
I got wind of it so told my mate to tell her that not only where we members of a cult but we where swingers as well-if she wanted she could join in
I have no idea if my mate repeated this but nosey woman now avoids us and has never asked her again
Childish I know but I hate those types

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 14/01/2022 13:29

The woman opposite me is like this. I'm autistic and am at risk of over sharing so don't speak to her now after she caught me off guard a couple of years ago and literally bombarded me with question after question.

Her nickname now is 'Twenty Questions' and I avoid her like the plague.

UnwantedOpinionBelow · 14/01/2022 13:32

I would be straight up with them.

I've had people ask about my salary and I have just responded:

'I don't discuss my salary'

Sometimes they push it and I just repeat above.

Then you get the really persistent ones who reveal their salary in the hope I will cave, so a 3rd repeat of the above is required.

Mousetruffle · 14/01/2022 13:36

It depends on who it is and why they are asking really. Usually I find a good tactic is to start asking them questions about them. I think secretly that's what they want.

I used to hate random people speaking to me when I was pregnant. Then I caught myself asking my neighbour who is pregnant 20 questions this morning. ill ignore her till the baby comes now!

Moonface123 · 14/01/2022 13:37

"l'm not going to answer that" , or "l feel l'm being interragated" or "l prefer to keep that private."
I have also perfected "l am ultra busy" vibe, my neighbour drives me insane, l can't stand nosey people.

Teenstress11 · 14/01/2022 13:56

I am just very vague in my responses. 'Hmm maybe, I'm not too sure really' etc. I did have an awkward question about a scar from a very young colleague, so I just said laughed and said 'it's a long story' and changed the subject. I wouldn't want to offend someone as some people think they are just being chatty and not nosey.

Joined4this · 14/01/2022 14:07

I think you can even break it down into

Sinister- wants information for an ulterior motive, has a purpose for asking (might gossip, stir or use info against you and

Well meaning oversharer- wants a funny anecdote or two to feel like you two have “bonded” and are close.

I would treat them differently

Sproglette · 14/01/2022 14:13

One of my DHs relatives is obsessed with how much we pay for things. How much did these towels cost? How much was that mug? Etc etc I started really vague (I can't remember) but she keeps on and on so I decided I would give the same answer (£20) every single time. She hasn't commented yet that it is always the same answer! It's a little game with myself to see how long it takes as some things would be great value or a complete rip off for that price.

9ofpentangles · 14/01/2022 14:17

Either lie or say if I told you, I'd have to kill you

Roosk · 14/01/2022 14:46

@Joined4this

I tried tell someone I wasn’t going to answer that with a smile and they got very aggressive with me. Now I just joke instead then ask them a question. I can talk about nothing of substance for hours luckily.

However, for that type of person who asks direct questions with piercing stare over and over I might joke about them keeping a spreadsheet or writing an article or something to let it be known they are being too intrusive.

From the other side of things, as I said privacy is great, talk about nothing if you like, but if you won’t answer any questions at all or chat in any way, conversation can get limited. There has to be a two way flow. Sometimes people just ask questions to initiate a convo or show interest.

You know it’s perfectly possible to have an in-depth conversation without asking or answering questions like ‘How much do you earn?’ ‘Why was your adopted child taken off her real parents — did they abuse her?’ and the like.

Nosy, intrusive questions don’t equate to ‘real conversation’ or the opposite of ‘nothing of substance’.