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Struggling to return to work after mat leave

16 replies

thebigpurpleone · 13/01/2022 22:15

I am finding it incredibly difficult to motivate myself at work. I'm usually someone who is driven but after a year off I just have lost all enthusiasm and miss my baby at nursery. Any tips?!?!

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mountainshadow · 13/01/2022 22:20

Hang in there - it does get better! How long have you been back? I found it took a fair few months to get back into the swing of things. Going back during covid must make it that much harder. I really feel for you.

Welshgirl87 · 13/01/2022 22:23

I'm in the same situation though I havent gone back to work yet but I have no motivation to go back im even looking at wfh jobs as I don't want to leave my baby

Daisy4569 · 13/01/2022 22:24

I’ve been back a week and feel exactly the same

LadyCleathStuart · 13/01/2022 22:24

@Welshgirl87

I'm in the same situation though I havent gone back to work yet but I have no motivation to go back im even looking at wfh jobs as I don't want to leave my baby
You will still need childcare if you wfh.

OP it sucks, I've done it twice. It will get better.

kitkatsky · 13/01/2022 22:25

Due to go back soon and so worried about it. Sympathy but no advice sorry

thebigpurpleone · 13/01/2022 22:31

@Welshgirl87

I'm in the same situation though I havent gone back to work yet but I have no motivation to go back im even looking at wfh jobs as I don't want to leave my baby
I'm Working from home but baby is in nursery. There's no way in hell you can get work done and properly look after a one year old.
OP posts:
thebigpurpleone · 13/01/2022 22:32

@mountainshadow

Hang in there - it does get better! How long have you been back? I found it took a fair few months to get back into the swing of things. Going back during covid must make it that much harder. I really feel for you.
Thank you. Only since the start of Jan.
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thebigpurpleone · 13/01/2022 22:32

@Daisy4569

I’ve been back a week and feel exactly the same
Glad it's not just me. I feel so meh. Just can't seem to muster up any enthusiasm.
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thebigpurpleone · 13/01/2022 22:42

@kitkatsky

Due to go back soon and so worried about it. Sympathy but no advice sorry
Good luck to you.
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thebigpurpleone · 14/01/2022 07:08

I also feel incredibly forgetful.

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NotTheGrinchAgain · 14/01/2022 07:26

I am just back at work since October after extended maternity leave (after my first baby I took 10 months off, this time I took 2.5 years!).

It is about maximising time you can spend with your child, and working like crazy in the day to be distracted and finish on time.

My top tips are: be ruthlessly efficient at work so you don't work a minute of overtime. Ask your boss informally if you can take a short lunch so you can finish a bit earlier. Remember as your baby grows up Nursery or childminder is great for socialisation. My 3 year old loves his preschool and goes running in with a huge grin and his big sister loves to come with me to pick him up because she remembers it so fondly.

If you can afford a cleaner so your spare time isnt spent on housework, pay for one. It makes such a difference.

Kids tend to get up early so you can get a few quality hours in before nursery as long as you get everything ready the night before - so breakfast laid out, clothes laid out, laundry done, quick tidy and vacuum.

Quick meals are also your friend, a slow cooker or an air fryer would be a great investment.

The forgetfulness is really a nuisance, I think it comes from tiredness. I put memos in my Outlook calendar for myself, set tasks with reminders, and write notes on everything in OneNote (taking minutes and screenshots during online meeting). In MS Teams I use the Meeting Minutes page to note down what was agreed and who has what actions.

With two kids there is a lot to remember and organise outside work too - playdates, appointments, birthday presents to buy, extra-curricular clubs to sign up for etc. Days with different pick up arrangements and so on. I use a family diary which hangs in the downstairs loo and if it's not on the calendar, it ain't gonna happen.

mountainshadow · 14/01/2022 16:19

You poor thing! It’s years for me now and I still remember how hard those first few weeks were… but it should feel better once you get used to it and your baby gets settled at nursery. Try not to be too hard on yourself in the meantime and enjoy those hot cups of tea/all the things you can do working from home without a small child around!

User310 · 14/01/2022 16:21

Exactly the same happened to me. I handed my notice in after 3 months because it didn’t get better.

He’s almost 2 now and I would say I would only just feel ready to go back now but I’m going to give it another year.

Good luck op!

ShirleyPhallus · 14/01/2022 16:25

Yep, it’s tough, you don’t feel 100% useful / efficient as either an employee or mother

It does come back though and it is lovely to see them thriving at nursery. The first time you pick up your child and they cry MUMMY! and run towards you is magical.

thebigpurpleone · 15/01/2022 07:13

Thank you. I think I need to try and count my blessings. I have a very flexible boss etc and many people would kill to have my set up. Unfortunately it's just the work itself is so dull and I'm bored. If I hadn't had a baby I would 100% have moved on but the maternity pay is so good and I want a second baby so I just need to suck it up.

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thebigpurpleone · 18/01/2022 21:42

My motivation has gone from bad to worse. I'm on the other thread on here about going off working too and that's been eye-opening. I just don't care enough. I think I would be much happier running my own business.

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