Covid anxiety -how to cope?

[thaegumathteth]

I've copied and pasted this from the MH board as Although I've had lots of kind responses I'm thinking maybe it would be better to have responses from people who aren't to clued in on mental health if that makes sense? Because actually I want to know what it feels like to live through this without anxiety.

I've had health anxiety for years. It peaks and troughs. Was very bad in March April 2020 but has been manageable.

There's me, dh (works from home 75% of the time) and ds (15) and dd (11). Ds had covid (delta?) in October and has had second vaccine last week. Dd too young for vaccines and me and dh triple vaxxed.

Dh is 44 and I'm 40. He is a bit overweight I am severely overweight - massively . I have lost 3 stone but still have a crazy amount to lose. Kids and I have asthma. I'm also disabled with chronic severe pain.

I am CONVINCED I will die if I catch omicron. Just typing that makes my heart race. I am terrified.

Kids obviously at school and seeing friends etc - I don't want them to know how anxious I am.

Ds has a runny nose today and I'm a wreck (in private) imagining all the worst case scenarios. Dh is exhausted from listening to me being in constant panic and paralysed with fear.

I don't really know why I'm posting, I'm struggling. Usual anxiety meds aren't doing anything. I haven't been in a shop or a cafe for almost 2 years, or had a friend in the house etc. I have let the kids do these things and we've done outdoor stuff in summer.

Right now I'm wondering - am I a terrible person for not getting a PCR for ds who has a runny nose and has coughed twice. My mind is whirring and I think I need a bit of a reality check - I don't think most people are feeling like this are they?? Are they?

I know which is why I have worked on this friendship for 6 years now, being there, being patient and adapting myself and tolerating a level of shite friending from her that just wouldn't be acceptable from anyone else. This thread actually led to an interesting conversation where he said that he didn't think it was just her anxieties, she's actually just not a very good friend and is absolutely no fun to be around and he's fed up with seeing me tailor myself, my responses, my behaviour to be there for someone who simply hasn't been there for me (or other friends) in our times of need (and there have been a few).

So I suppose in the case of my friend it's possible she's also selfish, self centred as well as suffering her anxieties. Probably hard to ever know which drives which. I would never cut her out, all I've done is stopped adapting my behaviour and that has had a natural effect on our relationship because all the effort to keep it going was coming from me. Whether that's her anxieties or personality I guess I'll never know.

Sorry missed the bit 'interesting conversation with husband'!

What you can do - which will help on so many levels
I’d lose weight
Are you able to concentrate on makin small change to facilitate this?

You could look up your risk of dying on the QCovid calculator- this is what healthcare professionals used to asses Covid risks.
I believe this was developed by Oxford university for the Covid strains before omicron, so your actual risk would be even smaller as omicron is milder.
It takes weight, age, other diseases, whether you’ve been vaccinated etc into account.

It might help get things in perspective for you.

Unfortunately the government did an excellent job of terrifying everyone!

Actually I’m not sure that the calculator even includes vaccination so your risk would be way way lower than this, but it still shows how unlikely it is for anyone.
I used to hear ‘oh I’m definitely going to die if I get it’ surprisingly often and the reality was so far from that.

I work in the NHS, followed all guidance regarding covid but have never had a moment's fear of having covid myself. When my son and I had it in September I was really pleased (!) to get it and see what it was like, and to build up natural immunity. It was like a bad cold that lingered for a couple of weeks. I was aching and exhausted then very snotty etc...

The other membes of my family didn't catch it. We are all vaccinated.

We go about our lives and give it very little thought.

I really hope you can find a way through your fear and anxiety. It sounds debilitating and upsetting for you.

We have two CEV people in the house, and honestly we don't think about it much. We don't want to live some awful cowed half life in fear of COVID, when even with every precaution we could get it anyway. We'd rather crack on and enjoy our lives within the legal limits. If we get it then so be it, but at least we'll have lived our lives in the meantime. COVID is here forever, and we're just not prepared to live in fear for the rest of our lives. That's just too awful a prospect for us.

Thanks everyone. I did the calculator a while ago - I think the thing is that logic doesn't really play a part in my anxiety. I wish it did but at the height of it even I can not get through to myself if that makes any sense?

I agree not wanting to live a half life - absolutely. It's hard cos I think that and I believe it and then I think 'but it's better than being dead'

I've lost 2 stone so far @Toanewstart22

Oops 3.

The thing is @thaegumathteth, your choice isn't between a) worrying about it and not catching it vs b) not worrying about it and catching it, because regardless of whether you worry about it you have a risk of catching it, particularly via your DC. Your risk is what it is, and if you're going to catch it you will. You never going in a shop is pretty ineffectual given your kids are out and about.

But what you can hopefully learn to control is your reaction to that risk and the extent to which you let worrying about it ruin your life. Personally I figure if it's going to kill me it will, and I'd much rather have had fun in the time before it does than sat at home worrying about it.

I know what you mean and believe me I talk myself round in circles just like this

I thought I'd update this for the benefit on anyone else.

Dd caught covid and tested positive 12 days ago. She's too young for vaccines. She was fine. Very slight runny nose, sore tongue and has a lingering cough but nothing at all major - not even enough for me to say it was like a cold tbh.

I caught it 11 days ago. I had a day of upset tummy and head cold feeling but otherwise nothing major at all. It's irritated my asthma a bit but I'm out of isolation and I'm ok .

In a way I'm glad it's happed. I've had 3 vaccines now and infection and when you've worried about something for so long and then it happens and it's not that bad it's a relief and you feel stupid

I'm going to try and get out and about more now that my antibodies must surely be through the roof

Thanks everyone for your advice and support