I have a friend who I used to see fairly regularly before she got married just before the pandemic. She’s from a fairly traditional Muslim family but has a degree and has worked until recently. She said it wasn’t an arranged marriage but her parents encouraged her to marry a man they introduced to her a few months beforehand. On her wedding day she told me that he was nice and they got on but she’d rather not hang out with him 1-1. Apparently he was in it for the same reason and he did seem nice/supportive. She also said point blank that she wasn’t wanting kids, and if she was it would be yeaaaaars away - she always said she hated them and loved working.
She’s the kind of person who will happily host 40 people but not actually talk to anyone; she’s extremely close to her family and would never do anything to bring them shame, her parents idolise her (met them a few times) and while she was born in the U.K. her culture/lifestyle/outlook very much aligns with that of her parents.
Anyho, I’ve not seen her since prepandemic as she moved away to her husband’s city. I suggested meeting up a few months ago and she said she couldn’t as she was due any day! We had spoken sporadically when she must have been pregnant but never mentioned it, nor any sign on SM. Time has passed and there’s no mention/evidence of baby or husband.
Life on Instagram is no different, pictures taken at home is no evidence of baby living there, no pictures of baby/announcement, seems to be posting life on Instagram the same as pre-pandemic (always shopping/sightseeing/fancy restaurants). She’s always been into documenting every little daily life on SM (you know what she’s made for lunch, bought shopping, who she’s met up with, what her granny is wearing).
At the time of her being due we spoke every night by text. One day she wasn’t online and that’s when I presumed she had gone into labour. I asked her how she was doing a few days later with no answer; fine, probably preoccupied I thought.
A few weeks later we spoke again over text but was very surface level, also I didn’t want to pry thinking that maybe she’d want to talk about prepandemic lifestyle to take her mind off if anything was going on.
I’m not sure what I’m asking really, something doesn’t feel right and I’m worried. There’s no sign of her husband on SM (all wedding/honeymoon/date night photos deleted), at no point did she mention on SM she was expecting, pre labour chats seemed off, there were no updates of her doing the nursery/buying baby clothes let alone anything post birth, her LinkedIn is gone and all of her SM have gone incognito.
I’ve been wondering what to do since I didn’t hear from her labour but presumed the worst had happened/extremely ill baby. But didn’t want to jump the gun incase baby wasn’t ill, but just being kept extremely private and I fell off the mailing list.
We were meant to meet up last weekend but I had to quarantine but I’m really worrying myself sick on what’s going on. Out of everyone I feel I’d be the one she’d confide in as a she did before with some of the weird and wonderful men her parents tried to match her with. She doesn’t have any other western friends, she’s grown up in a world that English is their second language and being perfect is the goal. If she had got divorced/he’s left she’s had plenty of opportunities to tell me and she knows I’d be the most understanding, if something had happened to the baby post labour why so silent beforehand?
I’m worried sick, how should I go around this?