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Friend's birthday bash, I'd like to invite "someone"

7 replies

FreshandLively · 11/01/2022 19:14

This is probably a very straightforward issue, but it's all new to me as I'm fairly newly single after a 30 year marriage.

Friend has arranged her birthday do at a restaurant with a disco (If it's not called that these days what is it called?!) . A dozen or so people, all couples and me. They're old enough friends that I won't be made to feel a gooseberry, but definitely the dynamic in that group has changed and occasionally become a little uncomfortable since I became single.

I went to this restaurant a while back with a male friend after another event. We were there early evening so not for the disco but both remarked we should go back for it another time. It feels wrong to go without him ie to have the opportunity to go and not include him.

It was most definitely not a date on that occasion, although I think now we are both single things could develop there in time. Not yet though.

Anyway, he's good company and a very entusiastic good dancer. I'm thinking of asking if I can bring him (a friend?) along. He does know the group who are going, but isn't part of the clique, for want of a better word.

Concerns:

  • It's rude to invite a random to someone else's birthday
  • It is too soon to be getting "involved" with anyone
  • The gossips will have a fieldday
  • He might read more into it than there is ATM

It would be nice to have someone to dance with though, the evening will be a lot more fun and we did say we'd go back together.

Can I invite him. How would I go about it?

OP posts:
Tal45 · 11/01/2022 19:17

I would check with friend first that it's ok to bring someone (him) along.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 11/01/2022 19:22

I'd check with the organiser, but I think it sounds nice to bring someone!

ChimChimeny · 11/01/2022 19:24

I'd check with the organiser too & maybe only bring him for the disco rather than the meal

FreshandLively · 11/01/2022 19:37

Yes, obviously I'd ask the birthday girl first, but it's kind of hard for her to say no?

You wouldn't worry about my other points?

I don't think just attending the disco is an option, it's a perk for buying a meal iyswim. If it makes a difference we'll be paying for our own meals, which is completely normal in my circles, but I apppreciate not on MN!

OP posts:
Mummadeze · 11/01/2022 19:42

I think your friend would be happy for you to bring a friend. Maybe you could tell your circle you are bringing a friend now you are single and it is just platonic. Re your friend, if you talked about going back there one day, that is a good way to present the invitation. Ie my friend is having a birthday celebration in that place we wanted to revisit. She said I could bring a friend, do you fancy coming?

Havilland · 11/01/2022 20:36

You sound lovely and it’s refreshing that you are thinking things through and understand the importance of communication.

I am baffled sometimes at the situations people get themselves in because they didn’t ask or discuss things beforehand.

I wouldn’t have thought there would be a problem in your friend accompanying you if you ask the host.

I’m sure he will also be delighted at having an evening out in good company with you.

FreshandLively · 11/01/2022 21:43

OK so I asked her and then him and got affirmative replies from both within seconds Smile

Now, do I tell them who I'm bringing or let them speculate....?Grin

OP posts:
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