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Original poster

Letting manager know

27 replies

2sleeps2go · 11/01/2022 11:21

Does anyone have any advice of how to give my manager the heads up that I've been offered a new job and that I'll be ready to give my notice once the new job confirms references and DBs.

I love the ethics of my current company and I get on really well with everyone, especially my boss and have been there many years.

It will be a shock to them but ultimately I feel my career is heading in a slightly different direction which I need to follow with the opportunity I've been offered.

Stupidly worried about telling her 😞

OP posts:
mdh2020 · 11/01/2022 11:23

Don’t tell them until the new job has been confirmed and you’ve signed the contract.

Whitney168 · 11/01/2022 11:24

First advice is unfortunately not to do any such thing until you have a contract in place with the new role. Don't assume every company will be as ethical as your current one!

Also ... it's just business really. When you have your new contract, hand in your notice telling them how very much you've enjoyed working there, but as you say your career aspirations are taking you elsewhere.

Treat them well, as you'd wish them to treat you, don't burn any bridges - but look after yourself first. For all their ethics, they are a business.

2DogsOnMySofa · 11/01/2022 11:38

My advice would be 'don't' until you have a signed contract.

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DoodleBelle · 11/01/2022 11:41

Is your current manager not one of your references? Just have an informal chat for now so they aren’t blindsided but don’t hand in your notice until you have a contract with the new place.

tanstaafl · 11/01/2022 11:48

@DoodleBelle

Is your current manager not one of your references? Just have an informal chat for now so they aren’t blindsided but don’t hand in your notice until you have a contract with the new place.
Don’t do this unless you’re 100% sure your manager will be pleased you’re leaving to better yourself.
Original poster
2sleeps2go · 11/01/2022 11:55

My HR department are the ones that give the references so my specific manager is not down.

I do worry that HR may give her an email to say they've had a reference request and that's the main thing I'm worried about else I would just leave it until all is in place for the new company and then give her my notice formally with a discussion after.

She's always supporting me to develop in this role and I'm a bit like her right hand woman it's just not taking me the direction I want to go.

OP posts:
GiltEdges · 11/01/2022 11:58

I do worry that HR may give her an email to say they've had a reference request and that's the main thing I'm worried about

How well known are you within the organisation? In a medium to large size company, regardless of anything else, HR just wouldn't have time to do this for every reference request they received.

WendyYourExcellency · 11/01/2022 12:09

I would be disappointed if someone I managed hadn’t told me they were going for a job. I could have helped with application process, offered advice etc, and it would help me understand development needs. Once the job is offered I think it’s imperative to tell manager. Manager needs to plan for your replacement and recruitment is a nightmare right now.

imnotacelebritygetmeoutofhere · 11/01/2022 12:14

@WendyYourExcellency

I would be disappointed if someone I managed hadn’t told me they were going for a job. I could have helped with application process, offered advice etc, and it would help me understand development needs. Once the job is offered I think it’s imperative to tell manager. Manager needs to plan for your replacement and recruitment is a nightmare right now.
I second this, why be secretive? You've said you get on with everyone but want to take your career in a different direction, there's no malice in that. Just be honest and open about it.
TheFlis12345 · 11/01/2022 12:16

Don’t say a word until you have a contract. DH was offered an exciting new role by a seemingly ethical and established company. They wanted him to resign and start the new role asap. He refused until he had the contract which they kept promising and making excuses for the delay of, and it just never appeared. In the end they effectively ghosted him with no real explanation. We were not upset to hear they went under a couple of years later.

Forrandomposts · 11/01/2022 12:19

I have never known anywhere give contracts out before you've resigned, often not even before you've stated.

ShirleyPhallus · 11/01/2022 12:27

@Forrandomposts

I have never known anywhere give contracts out before you've resigned, often not even before you've stated.
This is nuts, of course you need to have a contract signed to resign! Otherwise you don’t have a definite job to go to?
Butteryflakycrust83 · 11/01/2022 12:38

They dont need a heads up - you owe them nothing other than your standard notice.

Wait until everything is signed and confirmed with your new employer.

References should only be taken after you have resigned = be explicit with their HR what you are intending to do (which is standard).

GingerGloucester · 11/01/2022 12:43

I recently resigned from a job of six years. The approach I took to tell my manager before officially resigning was just to mention the job offer and say you need some time to think about it but wanted to let them know. Once I got the contract signed I said I’d made up my mind and handed in my notice.

Sparkai · 11/01/2022 12:49

@WendyYourExcellency

I would be disappointed if someone I managed hadn’t told me they were going for a job. I could have helped with application process, offered advice etc, and it would help me understand development needs. Once the job is offered I think it’s imperative to tell manager. Manager needs to plan for your replacement and recruitment is a nightmare right now.
Oh my god, no! I would never never never tell any of my managers I was applying for other jobs.

So many managers are lovely while you are doing what they want, and then turn awful when they think you aren't committed. I have seen it too many times.

Besides, it's just business. Why should I need my manager holding my hand through the job application process?

Lobakgo · 11/01/2022 12:50

@Forrandomposts

I have never known anywhere give contracts out before you've resigned, often not even before you've stated.
I have never resigned without a signed contract. DH did once - new job came very close to falling though and he will never repeat that.
Havilland · 11/01/2022 12:57

I highly doubt that your manager would be informing you that they are about to leave for a better job so do not worry that you have to say anything to them. They are colleagues, no more no less.

itwasntaparty · 11/01/2022 13:19

@WendyYourExcellency

I would be disappointed if someone I managed hadn’t told me they were going for a job. I could have helped with application process, offered advice etc, and it would help me understand development needs. Once the job is offered I think it’s imperative to tell manager. Manager needs to plan for your replacement and recruitment is a nightmare right now.
I totally disagree with this, recruitment and replacement isn't the ops issue.

Don't do or tell anyone anything until you have a signed contract. I've recently changed roles after 16 years. References, security clearance and DBS all sought after I had signed and formally resigned. You know if there would be anything that shows on a dbs or reference request so don't worry about that. References haven't been personal for years, they're a tick box exercise completed by HR based on your records, they probably haven't even met you in a large organisation.

Original poster
2sleeps2go · 11/01/2022 16:27

I have just received a conditional offer and they have asked within the email if they are happy for me for them to contact my references.

Is the conditional offer as good as contract? I'm so unsure on the process!

The post is with local authority if that helps?

OP posts:
Auntieobem · 11/01/2022 16:30

Don't hand in your notice until you've accepted a formal offer. It's good manners to let your referees know to expect a reference request.

RollerGirl7 · 11/01/2022 16:46

I've had this before. Offer subject to references.

I made them put it in writing that as long as my references were satisfactory then they could not revoke the offer.

Alternatively do you have any references for previous jobs that they would accept to avoid you having to tell your boss before you have signed a new contract?

If this is the way they work then this will have come up before ring the new company have an honest conversation and ask for their advice, hopefully they will be able to reassure that it's just a box ticking exercise.

GiltEdges · 12/01/2022 07:35

If it's a conditional offer, it's a conditional offer i.e. they won't formalise it until they're satisfied you've met their pre employment checks, including references. The offer isn't the same as a contract though; you're perfectly within your rights to request to see a copy of the contract before accepting their offer, so you understand the T&Cs you'll be agreeing to.

With regards to the references, personally I'd let them approach your employer for a reference and provide generic contact details for HR. If you're confident that the reference will be positive/factual, at some point after doing that you can then raise with your manager before they hear it from anyone else.

altiara · 12/01/2022 07:44

You still have to meet the ‘conditions’ so wait until you get the actual contract. Have you agreed pay and seen the benefits package, holiday etc so you know exactly what you’re going to?

WeAreTheHeroes · 12/01/2022 07:54

It's commonplace to have the offer and main terms in a letter, which you then accept, with the full contract then signed when you start. But it's a good idea to ask to see their contract before you accept the offer. Only in public sector roles ime is in the norm to tell your manager you're applying for another job. You'd be a fool to do so in very many businesses, especially if you then didn't get the job you'd applied for.

Housecar · 12/01/2022 08:08

You should tell your manager that you’ve applied for a job and received a conditional job offer but you will not be formally handing in your notice until the unconditional offer is received, I.e. after all checks complete. You need to keep a good relationship with those you work with, particularly as you will still have to work with them for some time and if it falls through will be working for them for even longer! They will most likely be told by HR when the reference request comes through and will think it odd of you for not saying anything.