Do you know your child has adhd from a young age?

[OnceuponaRainbow18]

Thanks for reading.

I was wondering if your child has adhd if you knew this from a young age? My son has just turned 3 and I’ve suspected for a while he may have adhd, I did call our GP to talk about it, and they dismissed it as him being too young, which I do understand. But, I also feel like if he does have it surely early intervention may help? Or maybe I’m overthinking it all.

I think he may have adhd because:
He cannot sit still, from the min he’s awake he’s buzzing
He can’t manage/regulate his emotions
He can’t wait his turn, even if it’s to speak
He has no impulse control
If he’s excited he always goes over the top
He has never slept well, takes an hour to fall asleep, just chats and chats and chats

Any thoughts from people with experience of children with adhd would be much appreciated!

Mine was like this too, it was very extreme but lessened at age 7 like most kids. They became very chilled and calm by age 10 but have other learning differences and challenges. We homeschool so they come across as typical and coping as I create the right environment. (Both parents neurodiverse).

I knew with my daughter from when she was a year or so. Asked the local services and they said far too young. Had her diagnosed at 6. Since all the professionals became involved, all they can say is how bizarre that nobody saw it earlier as she is off the charts severe and completely textbook.

The meds changed her life. She's no longer scolded by people for things she can't help. She's also autistic, and the extreme ADHD behaviour was masking it. Now, she has an EHCP and good support, and is just a happier child.

In my experience parents do know before anyone else, if they're open to noticing it (some parents are in denial). I'd read up on it, subscribe to ADDItude (online service) and try to put what support you can in place for now. Once in school, you can think about having a private assessment (the NHS is on its knees, sadly, and you will be waiting years - which when early intervention is so key is somewhat unfortunate).

I'd post on SEN children and talk about having that assessment with parents on there. It will be around a thousand pounds, sadly.

These people are great: help4psychology.co.uk - relatively affordable, 2 sites across the middle of the country, and really good clinically. A friend used them. We used a London clinic who are also great, but cost a bit more, and were no better. My friend's child had a sterling assessment at the midlands clinic linked above, and I would have used them myself had I known about them.

Unfortunately health visitors, teachers and playgroup staff know almost nothing about neurodiversity, yet regard themselves as far more expert than parents. It can delay support in the years where such support is enormously helpful.

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My son was diagnosed with ADHD at 6 but I had a gut feeling there was something different from very early on, he was never one of those babies that would lie and stare at a mobile or their hand for example, he needed constant entertainment (even though everyone told me babies can’t get bored as everything is new for them, he seemed to get bored easily!) I remember taking him to he weighed and seeing the other babies lying like little puddings all still whereas he would kick and kick and kick trying to get moving - he was walking before 1 and never sits still now.

He didn’t like loud noises - would cower and shake at the sound of the hand drier in the toilets for example. He also had a phase of banging his head on the ground, apparently sensory seeking, until he tried it on a marble floor in an airport - that put an end to it (though I still cringe at the judgey faces of everyone around us, as if we could have stoped him).

He also had the intense focus on things he enjoyed - he pretty much taught himself numbers and the Roman alphabet, then moved on to the Greek, Russian and Arabic alphabets, and was reading before school. Not so good at getting on with other children though. So yes, I knew something was different from early on despite plenty of people telling me a lot of it was normal behaviour.

My dd is diagnosed with Aspergers, we have only in the last couple years suspected she has ADHD, now looking at things close it seems I may have it too. Dd is 17. I guess we have never considered it because many traits overlap with ASD so we kind of just excepted her first diagnosis when she was 4 years old.

He cannot sit still, from the min he’s awake he’s buzzing
He can’t manage/regulate his emotions
He can’t wait his turn, even if it’s to speak
He has no impulse control
If he’s excited he always goes over the top
He has never slept well, takes an hour to fall asleep, just chats and chats and chats

This all sounds like pretty normal three year old behaviour to be honest?

I'm diagnosed and medicated myself, and the list above sounds textbook for my youngest daughter at 3 who turned out to be - to the best of my knowledge - completely "neurotypical". She still struggles to regulate her emotions, is full of energy and never wants to sleep at night but nothing abnormal or concerning for any 'extroverted' type child at her age and stage.

For my oldest child who does have ADHD it really didn't become clear until about age 7ish that's what it was. There were definitely some signs before that age, but they could have easily been put down to other things.

In the nicest way possible if they have just turned 3 then by all means see if there is some ADHD friendly strategies you can try with him, but I would reevaluate when he's a little bit older and it's clearer what is typical Xyo behaviour and what might be ADHD. Part of the diagnosis is that the symptoms significantly affect key areas of the person's life, which just isn't really possible when we're talking about children so young. It's a lot easier to show X is affecting education, and Y is affecting friendships even at 6 than it is at 3.

He sounds very much like my DS1 (nearly 6) was at 3.

As far as I know he is NT, he is doing well at school (though is still a chatterbox) and can follow instructions eg. at athletics/swimming classes.

He does still take ages to fall asleep though and does still have the odd very dramatic response to stuff.

Things that help regulate him are lots of exercise in the fresh air and calm one to one time with me - at 3 we used to make huge wooden train tracks, now we like to watch house/architecture shows on tv together and chat about our favourite designs.

Yes. People used to comment on ds having 'adhd' from 18 months / 2 years old. Complete live wire. Never ever still, had really crazy behaviour despite us doing everything to stop it.

Toddler groups I had to have me closely supervising (following him around) and often one of the workers helping me to / catch him / shadow him / intervene. He was into everything (much more than what would be considered normal)

One of the toddler groups we went to was at a church hall, on one session whilst all the other children were playing the parachute game sat nicely in a circle, ds broke through the double doors and ran up the church aisle and was jumping from pew to pew laughing manically, neither myself or the group leader could catch him, it was that day she referred him to our health visitor, who visited us at home and agreed he needed to be seen.

He was diagnosed with autism at 3. Adhd at 7 (referred for adhd earliest they were allowed in this area which was 6)

He was diagnosed with severe adhd and now takes medication.

I'd echo others and say don't go against your instinct that something is wrong DD is autistic and I knew something was wrong from about 2 but did realise what it was until about 6.

DS is exactly as you describe and yes neurotypical children do show those characteristics it's the intensity of it that makes it a concern. Ds childminder actually asked him to leave as she couldn't cope with his intensity and she is an experienced childminder.

We suspect he has ADHD particularly as families are more likely to have a child with ADHD if they have a child with Autism. He is booked in when he is 6 for a private diagnosis we aren't bothering with going the CAMHS route as know the waiting time is years and I've tried 4 times to get a GP appointment about it and given up

Not always. My DS has just been told he has ADHD at 18. It's mild as we had no idea but does explain some of his behaviours, like his temper and disorganisation, which he is getting better at managing.

@danni0509 that's exactly what my son was like at toddlers. He was diagnosed at 7 with adhd and autism.

I suspected ADHD with my 17yo right from them being small.

Every time I mentioned it to school or a teacher or the GP I just kept getting told "that's just what boys are like!"

Finally diagnosed last year as ASD and ADHD after years of trying.

Behaviours I pointed out were - total inability to concentrate on a task, absolutely no sense of danger, very clumsy and no spatial awareness, finding batteries with bite marks, destroying divers by ripping them apart because he wanted the fluff inside.

Schools and nurseries know very little about adhd. It's not included in the training.

Divers = Duvets!!

Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences. I do understand he’s very young and will read up on strategies and keep an eye on him. I’ll also raise it with his nursery again!

He is sooooo exhausting to parent, I really wish I didn’t feel dread at the thought of him waking up

Can I just ask how those with older kids and adhd / add how they’re doing?

@ilkleymoorbartat

Can I just ask how those with older kids and adhd / add how they’re doing?

Much better now we have the diagnosis. It was a really tough few years behaviour wise and she (M to F trans) is an awful lot more settled now we have a diagnosis.

It was like a light switched on and we all started to understand her behaviours and quirks.

DH and I have done some parenting courses to help us understand her better and she has had some sessions with a Barbados support worker. I have learned to try very hard not to raise my voice at all as that's a huge trigger for her. She has learned how to manage her emotions better and to talk to us rather than punching holes in walls...

We can almost live in harmony now! She is doing great at college after missing almost 3 years of school, she gets peopled out a lot though and when she does her long college day she will stay in bed for the full day afterwards.

In my experience the issues around ADHD don’t end after the battle to get a diagnosis and medication the school expected the medication to “fix” my son and when it didn’t they just gave up trying. I don’t want to scare anyone but tbh my son was an absolute nightmare during his teenage years, every type of behaviour you could imagine. He refused to take ADHD medication from the age of 13, you cannot physically force them so there was little we could do apart from trying to minimise the worst effects of his behaviour. People judge so I had only 1 friend who I could truly confide in. I also joined an ADHD parent group as they are truly the only ones who understand. My son is now an adult and manages well but the effects of his ADHD on his teenage self still impact on his life now, despite our best efforts.

Can I ask what issues he found particularly difficult @Blueberryflavour. In what way did the ADHD affect his behaviour? I'm glad to hear he's doing well now, but sorry to hear about the long term effects.

@Blueberryflavour 100% agree, medication doesn't solve everything (or anything even ) I was hoping it would. But I'm disappointed to be honest!

@ilkleymoorbartat
His impulsivity meant he felt the overwhelming urge to do “something” in any given situation even if it was something crazy. When he was calm he understood what he should do if he felt out of control but in the instant that it actually happened his brain just couldn’t access any of the coping strategies that we or the school had put in place. He was a regular at A and E for example as he had no concept of consequences. You know the feeling in your head that stops you punching someone who has annoyed you or doing just as you damn well please, because you know that it would have consequences, well my son just didn’t have that feeling. That lack of joined up thinking led him to make very poor choices, which I won’t go into here but it’s the consequence of those choices that he is living with today. My son like a lot of young people who refuse to take ADHD started self medicating.
This did not happen to my son but I’m sad to say that people with ADHD are heavily over represented in the prison population a study said that the rate is 5 times more likely in a young offenders institution.

I knew from a young age, and he was so disruptive in school that we got a lot of support from them early on - they could tell it was a case of 'cannot' rather than 'will not' thankfully.

We were told that assessments and diagnosis of ADHD do not happen until a child is older than 5/6 in most areas because a lot of the ADHD behaviours can be attributed to an active boy, but as they get older it is clear which ones cannot focus or get easily distracted for example, or when the impulse control simply does not improve with age.

For us routine is hugely helpful, so he knows what is happening when and why, also a very healthy diet. My DS (8, now trialling some medication) eats very few refined sugars and processed food. Medication is currently helping us but that is in addition to all the strategies etc. we have learned and used since he was in reception. The psychiatrist was very clear in saying that medication is good but only when used in conjunction with strategies.

@Blueberryflavour this is my fear with my son - he is the same with impulses! The impulse control is completely lacking with him. I can only hope that he 'enjoys' the feeling of being more in control the medication gives so that he continues to take it tbh, as it's the one thing we've hugely struggled with over the years.

@danni0509

I hear you

[quote Blueberryflavour]@ilkleymoorbartat
His impulsivity meant he felt the overwhelming urge to do “something” in any given situation even if it was something crazy. When he was calm he understood what he should do if he felt out of control but in the instant that it actually happened his brain just couldn’t access any of the coping strategies that we or the school had put in place. He was a regular at A and E for example as he had no concept of consequences. You know the feeling in your head that stops you punching someone who has annoyed you or doing just as you damn well please, because you know that it would have consequences, well my son just didn’t have that feeling. That lack of joined up thinking led him to make very poor choices, which I won’t go into here but it’s the consequence of those choices that he is living with today. My son like a lot of young people who refuse to take ADHD started self medicating.
This did not happen to my son but I’m sad to say that people with ADHD are heavily over represented in the prison population a study said that the rate is 5 times more likely in a young offenders institution.[/quote]
We were exactly the same with the A&E visits. God only knows how SS didn't investigate. We had a slice to the chin in Turkey that had to be stitched, numerous big bumps to the head, wound on head glued because she had to be a free runner rather than just walking along the pavement, hit by a car outside school with extensive bruises and broken wrist. I swear we should have had our own bench in there!