What do you wish you’d asked your wedding venue before you booked?

[Birdles52]

Evening all,

We’ve got an appointment at a local venue for a wedding consultation on Sunday. I thought we were booking for a wedding fair, but it’s an open day & they offered us a private appointment instead. I accepted & am now panicking a bit as I have no idea what we need to ask? We don’t even have a firm idea of what we’re looking for. We don’t much fancy a traditional wedding breakfast & evening do. We have several guests that won’t make it through the day, so want something more low key. We have a rough budget though & a vague idea about numbers.

So what do we need to know before we go?

&

What do we need to ask?

Thanks

What sort of venue is it? If its a hotel do you get a discounted rate for guests that stay? Which areas do you get exclusive use of and for how long? Do they provide a DJ etc for the reception or do you provide your own? That's all I can think of right now.

Ask them to show you exactly where everyone would be at each stage of the wedding. We saw a few that relied on the main room being “turned over” after the ceremony- e.g. the rows of chairs swapped for tables and chairs for eating, and then again to remove some of the tables and make room for a dance floor in the evening. Which is fine, as long as the room you use while they’re changing over is big enough. We saw one, for example, where they claimed that the drinks reception would be on the roof terrace- but that would only have accommodated about half the guests and everyone else would have had to stand what was basically a corridor.

Are they planning any major work.

It sounds silly but our wedding venue committed to a major renovation a few months after we booked; which turned the gorgeous Victorian ceremony room into a bar. It absolutely ruined it; and we had a massive fight to get our money back.

Ask about things like

Can you decorate and to what extent?
Will they accept delivery of things like your cake the day before?
I wish I’d have asked about their staffing arrangements. Our venue turned out to be very well staffed, but that was luck, and I’ve been to weddings at hotels where there were clearly not enough staff for the size of event.

They’ll automatically tell you most things you need to think of most likely, and just going to look will give you more idea of what you’re looking for.

Will there be other weddings on the same day? Do they allow live music, if you want that? Do they have a wedding planner/coordinator, who will be able to help you?

I would say you don't fancy the traditional format, and see what they offer you.

Ask if they have any special arrangements? We didn’t ask but turns out if a guest sleeps with the banqueting manageress you don’t get charged for the evening buffet.

Do you have a different groom on offer?

How flexible they are on their offering. Our wedding planner (assigned to us by the venue) was awful, truly horrible, lied to us over and over again to make his own life easier (such as only allowing one meal option due to a change in policy, despite us booking on the premise there would be a choice of two). If we called on his day off, miraculously the things he had told us “simply weren’t possible” became positively easy for the venue! If we hadn’t asked about their flexibility on things like seating arrangements, meal plans etc before booking we probably would have just believed him rather than asking for confirmation from others at the venue.

Happy ending as he was mysteriously off sick the weekend of our wedding (after we’d gone behind his back on at least 5 separate issues) so we had the absolutely lovely venue owner looking after us instead!

I have now asked this (three months to go 😂)

What time can you arrive at the venue in the morning (if you’re getting ready there etc) 😀

All good points -thank you-I’m taking notes.

@CrowFriend I’ll keep that in mind -I’m sure DP has some single friends.

@KitBumbleB - hopefully it won’t come to that 🤣

What exactly don’t you want regarding the traditional breakfast/evening do?

In the case that you’re not having a full event you will need to find out what there minimum spends/numbers are. For example, many venues won’t book peak dates to couples who don’t want a wedding breakfast.

If you want a party in the evening ask what time it needs to finish, if there are any restrictions re noise levels, if you want a band ask about stage & electrics access.

I'd also ask what time you can set up. And if there are any restrictions re suppliers (some venues insist on using their own preferred suppliers only eg for photography which put my off completely).

Bedrooms - any included, how many does the venue have, is there a discount for guests.

Other things that matter to you like do you want to give your guests a choice re menu, ask which and how many drinks are included.

I put together a whole spreadsheet of questions down to toilet accessibility and highchairs

• Do you have to use their suppliers (for food and music) or can you bring anyone you like in.
• What restrictions do they have around timings for arriving / music / departures.
• Can guests leave cars overnight?
• What are their bar prices and corkage rates if you want to bring any of your own in.
• How far in advance so you have to confirm numbers?

@CrowFriend

Ask if they have any special arrangements? We didn’t ask but turns out if a guest sleeps with the banqueting manageress you don’t get charged for the evening buffet.

Ooh must find out if this is a thing at our venue; DP's best mate is having some kind of dalliance with one of the staff already

It’s a hotel.

We’re hoping to do something a bit more relaxed than the traditional set up of ceremony, meal, evening do. Probably closer to ceremony, evening do. With a potential small afternoon tea squeezed in if it’s not massively more.

Planning on staying the night before anyway & not to a live band. There’s loads here that I hadn’t thought of.

We found with venues like that there really is only one way to do a wedding (traditional ceremony, drinks, wedding breakfast, evening party) and they were really reluctant to do anything out of the ordinary. To do it differently you need to find a different sort venue.

@Cyclingforcake

We found with venues like that there really is only one way to do a wedding (traditional ceremony, drinks, wedding breakfast, evening party) and they were really reluctant to do anything out of the ordinary. To do it differently you need to find a different sort venue.

That’s true to say, but also if you are looking at an off peak day you may find venues are more flexible. Do you have an idea of numbers yet?

Afternoon tea done in the standard format with table service, cake stands etc will normally be quite expensive. Sandwiches and cakes on a buffet could be half the cost.

It sounds to me like you are looking at a twilight wedding, a late ceremony going straight into an evening party.

But if you want people to drink and dance you will need a decent substantial buffet. Otherwise guests may leave early to eat.

Apart from asking what catering options you have…

Timings for arrival and departure of guests.
Can you get ready there? Some hotels throw in a suite.
Minimum spend/Numbers
Breakdown of costs for room hire etc, some venues will charge a few hundred extra to set up the ceremony there.
Drink prices at bar.
What decorations they offer, eg candelabra etc, what can you bring yourself and when can you access the room to set up, can their staff help.
What options there are for music, is there space for a band, do you have to bring your own PA etc.
Any restrictions on children etc with there licence.
What the table layout would be with your numbers, is it separate rooms or do they have to turn them around.

There’s loads more I’m sure!

How will they store things that get delivered then identify them as yours. I speak from experience: walked into my lovely blue themed wedding to find bright pink feathers on every table.