New to the UK/London and v, v lonely in the pandemic

[CarrieSadshaw]

Not sure where to put this. So putting this here.

I am new to MN, the UK and London. I an a trailing spouse ( but one who also works from home) and moved to London in January 2020, when my husband's job was moved here. I was thrilled to come. Have always loved London and continue to love it. Even during lockdown, I enjoyed the parks, the museums, the theatre, gigs...

BUT I haven't managed to make any lasting friends. I am not shy and used to starting over. But I am also 49, DC have flown the nest and the usual avenues for making friends are closed in the pandemic. I had a few friends in London from past expat circuits, but they seem to be busy/ghosting/ down with Covid every few months. I joined a book club but they only meet once a month and sometimes not even then. I joined a walking group but they have scaled down on events too, plus I make acquaintances rather than friends there. I wanted to join a choir but bit nervous about doing so during Omicron ( DH is CV). I am not big on group events, though I can tolerate them. I would like to meet a couple of friends over coffee.

I now haven't seen anyone but DH for over a month, and I am going nuts. The last straw is me suggesting meeting for coffee to a 'friend' and she snapping at me that she was busy because she doesn't have a husband to share the load ( her words)! I feel like I have chosen a really bad time to make new connections. I also tried to organise a coffee morning last summer and no one came ( Outside so no Covid excuses).

Please don't suggest returning to my home country. There are no jobs for DH there. Besides, in ordinary times, I would really love living in London. I still have days when I can't quite believe my luck. Then other days I feel completely alone.

Have you tried nextdoor app op? My local N London one was very active with people looking to make friends.

Animal charities are always looking for volunteers, look at Battersea, Wood Green shelter, local rescues also BorrowMyDoggy.

Is there anything you want to do for yourself? A sport or a craft or write.
History of your area or City or Thames?

@CarrieSadshaw hey, i am British but just moved back to the UK from a long time in Singapore. There is a great Facebook group called 'SEWs in London and the UK' - a spin-off from Singapore Expat Wives although you may not have been part of that if you're Singaporean.
I am in Sussex but sooo many on that group are in or very near London- reach out on there and you will find your people.

I sympathise OP, I’ve been a trailing spouse and it’s hard. I would echo the suggestion
Of the WI, the Islington one is meant to be good and also has a book group, theatre trips etc.

City Lit is doing some courses in person. Would sewing or similar interest you? Ray Stitch in Islington does classes.

I would absolutely recommend the WI....find some in your area, go along as a guest (You pay a fee but no commitment) and see which one, or ones, you click with. I did that when moving to a new area and am now a dual member of 2 very different ,but very friendly, groups. Good luck!

Classes are always a good place to meet new people; painting, pottery, cookery classes.

Meetup/athletic clubs also a good avenue I think.

I'm not sure where you are in London but when I lived there I made some really good friends by attending classes at Better Leisure. I used the ones in Swiss Cottage and St Pancras.

www.citylit.ac.uk

City Lit do a wide range of short courses (lots of options, as in weekday or weekend, day or evening, length of course, topic). Make some friends with like minded people.

Borrow my doggy website will introduce you to dogs who need walki g/company while their owners are out at work.

Do you play a sport? If you don't play tennis, join a beginners class - I find it so sociable as most middle aged people want to play doubles, so you need 4 people, and a good pool of contenders.

We moved (back) to London last summer from Singapore. We are British and have still found it an extremely hard transition. I know people already in London and have small kids so I can imagine it's been even harder for you. I think it's a case of throwing yourself at as many things until something sticks! Exercise, craft, volunteering. Yoi could check out the fb group two fat expats and do a shout out there to see if there's anyone local to you of similar age who fancies meeting up and who might even feel the same

If you like dogs how about volunteering to walk dogs at a local shelter? That tends to be pretty sociable with other volunteers.

Post on your local Facebook groups explaining your interests and see what volunteering opportunities or clubs people suggest perhaps?

Belated thanks for all the posts.. I forgot to come back. Feeling a lot better this week as the sun has come out, and have a lot of ideas thanks to this!