Putting this in chat as I just wanted to "celebrate"/moan a little rather than ask for advice (although wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth if anyone had any pearls of wisdom!).
I've suspected DD had ADHD from an early age - there are many reasons/indicators and she’s really struggled at school, socially with her peers and with her sleep, but, as she’s a confident, bright, and charismatic kid, family members, her old GP, and various teachers have dismissed me over the years.
She had an awful time at primary school, with some of the teachers constantly giving her a really hard time (the worst culprit she ended up having for 2 years, unfortunately); only one ever really had her back and suggested I have her assessed - but the GP spent 5 minutes with us, and, as she was playing with something on the floor, dismissed the idea outright (she's retired now, fortunately).
It's only since high school that I've finally had support from her teachers and medics/therapists (she's recently been seeing a paediatric neurologist for chronic tic syndrome and had bullying issues which she's been seeing a counsellor for ... both who suspected ADHD without any prompting from me). And today, after 10 years of trying to get her the support she needed, the completion of multiple questionnaires by both us and school, and a lengthy assessment, she has a formal diagnosis of ADHD (combined type).
I'm elated that my beautiful, cheeky, funny, kind, and vivacious kid will now be able to understand her condition and receive the support she needs, as well as (hopefully) be understood by those adults involved in her life, and maybe even her peers (I hope I'm not being naive there). My hope is that she will no longer be dismissed when she's struggling in class, or in any other formal learning environment; her high school have been very supportive to date and were already starting to put strategies in place even before the diagnosis, so am hoping this will continue (she has a great head of year - a couple of the others not so much…maybe that will now change?).
BUT my brother and mother have from the outset thought they know better, and are even now maintaining, post-diagnosis, that she can't possibly have ADHD because she doesn't fit their extremely narrow perception of how an ADHD child should behave. They are intelligent people (one a physicist and one an ex-radiographer) but continue to jump to conclusions without taking any time to familiarise themselves with the condition. It's so fucking frustrating!
But I'm going to ignore them for the moment and concentrate on the huge positive ... DD is finally on the right path and she now has people, other than me (and a small number of others) that have her back. That bloody deserves celebrating! Although I am currently having to hold myself back from sending her old school a lengthy “fuck you” email.