Unrealistic career ambitions

[user73283652]

I've had loads of ambitions over the years. All unrealistic. I'm a totally different person inside my head than in reality.

I've always wanted to do skilled, practical jobs, mostly high pressure, which I don't deal well with or strong communication skills required, which I don't have. I work in retail as my second best option. It's boring and no hope of any progression but at least I get to roam around all day and it's no stress.

I find people (mostly family but a couple of random teachers from my past) still keep pushing this idea that I could/should have a great career in an office. I don't really think I could (see: crappy communication skills) but I've studied for different things and when it comes down to it, I just don't want to sit at a desk all day even if office work is the thing I'm most suited to.

Anybody else have unrealistic ambitions? What did you choose as your backup career/job path? Am I being daft to say that if I can't have the dream, an easy, free-range work life is the next best thing?

I am very much the same OP. I’ve started loads of businesses in my head. I’ve even started some of them on paper, planned them out, costs etc. But in reality I can’t make them happen. I’m a cleaner. But even that has come to an end now as my back has given out. So I’m looking for something else and I am woefully in equipped for most things.

*unequipped

There are lots of "great careers" that are in offices, not all require great communication skills.

I find that sometimes, other people can be clearer-eyed about what my strengths and weaknesses are, especially if I'm lying to myself about something. Could it be that your family and teachers are identifying something that you are not seeing? Maybe your communication skills aren't as bad as you think, you certainly wrote your post here with good SPAG and you have put your thoughts across clearly.

What do your family think you could do? Beyond "great career in an office" which is meaningless, there are zillions of roles that are office based. I work in finance, my brother works in e-sports and gaming, my friend works in marketing and another works in international aid coordination - we all work in offices but all completely different.

You say "I can't have the dream" - what is the dream that you say is so unrealistic?

I don't think your career aspirations sound at all unrealistic. It sounds like you are confusing 'office job' with 'ambitious career' (when actually lots of office jobs are tedious and boring). What do you want to do that you would enjoy? It doesn't have to involve sitting inside in front of a computer all day. Dh hated his office job (in a field he went and got a university degree in). So he quit and started a business and is largely outside, working with his hands, making things all day. He makes about 100K a year (compared to 18K at his office job). And he loves it. But he was really clear about what he enjoyed doing and the sort of job he'd hate and would never want to do again and he went from there to find the right path.

Yes to planning businesses! Also endlessly researching courses and work experience and stuff for things that aren't going to happen. I hope you're able to find something else @MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry

Unfortunately, my communication skills are dire. Probably should've said social skills. It's more general but it's definitely not just my perception. I was managed out of my first job because of it.

Parents think I should join the Civil Service (because it's that easy obviously ) and 'see where it leads'. I've also had accountant, library work, the generic 'something with computers' and getting any old job with the NHS as a foot in the door suggested to me.

I'm 31 so I've had and chucked a fair few dreams. Over the years, I've wanted to be a paramedic, naval engineer, outdoor education instructor, chef, train driver, theatre tech... No idea why I'm drawn mostly to high pressure environments when I know I couldn't handle it.

Also endlessly researching courses and work experience and stuff for things that aren't going to happen.

Yep!! I’ve started and not completed so many courses. I’ve started the same course 3 times at a cost of thousands that I really couldn’t afford. I have nothing to show for any of them. Except textbooks. Two sets.

Let's start at the beginning.....what qualifications have you got?

I’m not convinced you have to have great communication or social skills to work in my office.

I jest (somewhat); but “working in an office” covers an enormous range of potential careers, not all of which involve sitting at a desk in front of a computer all day. If you’ve already typecast office work as that, that in itself is unrealistic and which will be holding your ambitions back.

I work in governance. I really enjoy it. It’s not where I imagined I’d end up (I mean, who says to their school careers advisor, “I’d love to be the person who makes sure that all the correct frameworks by which a company demonstrates its accountability and authority are being followed”?) but it did also require a bit of reevaluation of my understanding and expectations of various roles.

You seem very clear headed. Maybe a bit self critical but at least you see the gap between the required skillset and what you offer. Why don't you close the gap? You can go on all sorts of courses to develop social skills. you can find basic ones free online, read self help books about social skills or pay for courses. You can also, once you are in a company, get training. I was (am ) a bit socially inept and charmless but had one job that required negotiating contracts and was taught by the very charismatic outgoing negotiator. then I joined a company where part of my job was dealing with difficult customers or people making complaints and demands. That company trained us how to be civil and to triage demands and look genuinely attentive etc. Also, pub/restaurant casual work helps you develop good social superficial skills.

You've identified the problem so you can solve it.

what qualifications have you got?

A foundation degree in IT and some other IT, accounting, graphic design bits.

Didn't mean to sound like I'm down on all office jobs. It's not that I think all office jobs are boring or anything. I loved studying accounting but when it came to it, the thought of doing it every day for years... Just thought nah, that's not for me.

Appreciate the comments. I suppose a lot is about the particular employer. I've never found anywhere particularly understanding of social difficulties. Lots of telling off, particularly in my first job when I often hadn't got a clue what I'd done wrong, and never any support. But I guess in the right place, things could be different.