Would you let your 7yo get her ears pierced? (If not then what age?)

[Crunchymum]

Sorry title is a bit "click-baity". It's more of a hypothetical question.

Our almost 7yo has asked alot but she has been given a firm no from both me and DP.

To me it seems something that is done when they are very young by parents or when they are old enough to make such a decision? (13+)

Although I recall my mum taking me off when I was quite young to get them done (would have been late 80's)

We are not about to relent but does anyone let their young children get their ears pierced these days?

My rule was - when they are old enough to look after them themselves.

My mum was of the 'if you were meant to have holes in your ears you'd be born with them' ilk.

Then she decided she wanted hers done!

So I had mine done at the end of primary school... if I remember rightly I was just in time to change them for my last Christmas party in P7!

I plan to do the same for my DDs if they want them done. Not sure if I'd go any earlier as if they are still very young is there more chance of them ripping them?

You'd know your DD as to how rough she plays etc.

I think they can make their own decisions way before 13 or older. 8 seems to be standard age round these parts

Neither of mine have asked yet, but I think I would let my 10yo have hers do e if she wanted. I think she is able to understand the choice and make an informed decision.

But 7yo would be too young for me (I also have an 8yo who I wouldn't agree to have this done for).

@Rainbowqueeen

When they are old enough to care for them properly. And are not having regular swimming lessons. Also when they have been asking for awhile - learning to delay gratification is really important for kids.

What's swimming got to do with it? Some people swim regularly all their lives. Dd has swim regularly since toddlerhood and it didn't affect her piercings when she had them done

Secondary school age at least. It's a faff I don't want any responsibility over, for a start! My eldest got them done about age 12 and decided they weren't for her so let them heal over. She has no regrets. My 15yo had hers done recently and wears funky earrings now. She loves it. It was a good age for them.

I agreed for DD at 7 on the basis that she was sensible and would look after them, and the tattoo studio would do them with a needle. Also it had to be at the start of the summer holidays. They’ve never been a problem.

I think it depends a lot on the child and whether they’re rough and tumble or not - others had them done at the same time in her class but ended up letting them close up.

I am with others summer before secondary school at the earliest.

They need to be able to understand the care and do it themselves.

Might be different as I have a son not a daughter but I think I’d let him when he asked (if schools allow them, which I’m assuming they do), if I felt he understood what was involved.
I’d probably be ok at age 7.

DD had hers done at 8, after a lot of begging! She had them done at a very reputable piercing shop with a needle. Before she had them done the lady doing the piercing spoke to her about the process and what she would need to do to care for them afterwards etc. She then had to sign her own consent form (along with myself)

I felt happy that a) she really wanted them done b) she understood what was going to happen and what the risks were and c) she was mature enough to manage the aftercare.

I don't think that there is a 'magic' age were it's suddenly OK for kids to have their ears pierced, as long as they are at an age where they can understand and are happy with the above points. Each to their own!

the piercing studio we use doesn't do under 8s, and may suggest older if the child's lobes are particularly small.

our DC had them done at the end of Y5. Their high school doesn't allow piercings to be in at all, and I wanted to give them longer than the 6 week minimum to heal.

I would allow it - it is normal in Ireland (where I'm from) for little girls to have pierced ears. Many get it done for their Communion at about 7.

I don't understand the angst about it.

We've given a firm no but I was curious.

It's been many years since I had mine done (had them done about 7/8 and then second piercing in each ear as a teenager) what is the self care like? I remember they needed daily cleaning and turning the stud etc.

FWIW, my DD has never known me with pierced ears as I let mine all close years ago.

I don't understand the angst about it

@TheYearOfSmallThings

It isn't angst as such. It's just another thing that will no doubt fall to me to take care of.

Also I really don't want to go down the path of my 7yo asking for something I think she is too young for and her getting her own way.

I have told her we'll revisit when she is older.

Sorry OP - I didn't mean you! I just meant the horror frequently expressed on Mumsnet (and to a lesser extent in the UK) on this topic.

I think you are doing the right thing. She doesn't need her ears pierced at 7, let her be a child.

I think 7 is fine if they look after them. DD had hers done just before she was 8 and took care of them perfectly. They’re a pretty standard year 4 birthday present I noticed, to get ears pierced

@Crunchymum

We've given a firm no but I was curious.

It's been many years since I had mine done (had them done about 7/8 and then second piercing in each ear as a teenager) what is the self care like? I remember they needed daily cleaning and turning the stud etc.

FWIW, my DD has never known me with pierced ears as I let mine all close years ago.

I think we’re all used to the whole rigmarole of “turning” ear piercings as that was what advised when we had our ears done as children. It’s very outdated though. Nowadays the aftercare is keep it clean but otherwise leave it alone (or the LITFA method!)

Between leaving primary and starting secondary, old enough to decide and be able to look after the piercings. Also a way to mark the transition to secondary.

Primary age are still running around, climbing on climbing frames etc and far more likely to catch a piercing.

I don't have a DD but if my 8yo DS asked to get his ear/s pierced I'd let him. I'm quite relaxed about that stuff though, I'm heavily tattooed and by age 14 I had multiple earrings and a belly button piercing. MN is weird when it comes to piercings.

No, too young. The summer before they start at secondary school is ideal.

Yes, if they really want it and understand what it entails, and will look after the healing wound and capable of removing earrings themselves. Otherwise no.

My eldest had hers done at 8 and met all of the above criteria (but was still very shocked at the pain. We went to a proper piercing and had it done with a needle, my stipulation). My 7yo is not ready (although hasn’t asked) so it would be a no.

I’d say 6 would be the absolute youngest for me to consider.

I took my first daughter to get her ears pierced when she was 7. She was ready. She's now 12 and still loves wearing earrings. My second is 9 and never asked, so I've never taken her.

No. The rule is after primary here