Bedroom design for 10yo to mitigate her general messiness (possASD)

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We are moving house sooner and it is a fixer upper so all the rooms will get quite a bit of attention. DD nearly 10 is having her own room. She currently has a large room and we have recently added a desk and bookshelf. She is very into arts and crafts and now sewing

She is messy. We tidy together but it is generally a tip by bedtime. How she hadn't lost her school tie is a mystery. She knows how to tidy. We don't make her tidy every day

How can I design a bedroom for her that she can operate within?

One option is more storage but I'm a bit worried that she will just fill it up again

Her dream design is a high bed and then lots of zones around the room, for craft, for sewing, a reading corner,somewhere to play with her babies etc. Is this a good plan? What sort of shelving looks neat but encourages people to use it?

All bright ideas welcome!

A lot of people are messy and disorganised it's very normal! You say she knows how to tidy and you tidy together but things still get messy. It sounds like she struggles to keep on top of things day-to-day, and that's more down to daily habits and routines than the underlying room. Fundamentally she needs to have storage, and for everything to have a place, but then it's putting the stuff back in its place that is likely the challenge. Maybe labelling, and colour-coordination, would help. But at the basic level - if she's been using a pen and pad of paper, when she's done, she needs to put it back. Not just lying on her bed. When she takes off a jumper, it needs to go in the laundry basket, or back in a drawer, or in a designated spot for clothes to wear again. Not just on the floor. That's all a tidy-as-you go habit you have to practice to improve.

Thanks for your comments, I am aware that I need to teach her good habits etc.

My question is about how interior design can support such efforts. Loads of storage or less? Indulge a request for lots of desks or keep things more minimal? Is a high bed going to be full of books and notepads and more of a hindrance than a help.

Some people will know the answers to this sort of stuff no doubt. A bit like designing out crane in new developments, I need designing out mess in a bedroom!

My daughters and I are Neurodiverse and this is an ongoing problem. It really is a battle for us.

We have small rooms so its doubly hard but if you have the space I would say areas for like things is a great idea. I have a double problem that if I can't see it it doesnt exist so wemt thru a phase of open shelves, but that is also messy. So if I know books are in book area and clothes on clothes area and lego in lego area and craft in craft area that helps even if I dont remember where anything is.

I would love to have a brain like my husbands that remembers where things are but I truly dont, and it looks like my children are the same.

Maybe a regular joint clean up on a saturday, with just "putting clothes in clothes bin and try to keep floor tidy" during the week? It can feel so very overwhelming that if there's A Plan that can really help. A promt to put clothes in washing each night andnthe knowledge mum will help me tidy on saturday and get it straight again can really help.

Another aid I have seen is to take a photo of each area as it should look and stick it near that area so its easier to remember where to put things.

Knowing it's something she struggles with and facing it together is great.

If she can already sense separate areas would help then go for it.

We had a problem with the high bed as although they loved the space underneath - they missed being able to sit on the bed. Also being tucked in/kissed goodnight etc. She didnt want to say after qe spent the money but we did change back as she wanted a "grown up" room around that age.

I remember when my brother was that age and wanted a high bed we went for separatable bunk beds so when he wanted that he could sleep in the top bunk, with soft toys living and being played with on the bottom bunk but were able to switch it down to the low bunk only later on.

I'm also very messy for me the key things are:

Designated areas for the things that can cause mess - e.g. half read books, half worn clothes, half complete craft projects.

Dedicated time for tidying.

A place for things that don't have a home e.g. a miscellaneous box that you then sort out and re-home from every week.

Multiples of things that otherwise get moved around.

I could say get a bed that is solid and no space (even if you fill it with trays) underneath.

My dyspraxic dd just tidies by shoving everything under the bed.

Every now and then I realise and fish out hairbands, dirty tissues, dirty clothes everything.

I was like this as a child and have come up with a system or sorts in my 20s (when I bought my own house!). I also have ASD.

What helps me is having hard and fast rules and routine.

1. Everything has a home and new possessions are given a home asap- i.e. Xmas presents.
2. Clear outs several times a year- usually after Xmas and summer to ensure that I can stick to 1. It gets out of hand if I don’t!

1. Support to start tasks. I get HUGE inertia because I feel intimidated by the task because I can SEE the mess! I discuss with my partner the plan and he usually tells me I’m aiming to do too much and should just target one thing per day etc/lower my expectations. This has removed the feeling of failure that I associated with trying to be tidy.

1. Stuff that is frequently used has an obvious and convenient home. As a child I was made to keep shoes and coat in my room and it used to get in a mess. As an adult I have a designated space for shoes and coat by the door and also my gym bag which goes regularly in and out. I think as a child this would have been really helpful for book bag/PE kit/tie etc, so I couldn’t drop it into the abyss!

1. Appropriate storage for appropriate items! An absolute gamechanger for me was the IKEA PAX wardrobe- I actually chose what arrangements I was having inside it based in the possessions I actually have. So I decided on the correct amount of hanging space I would need and then also added different types of drawers etc that were suitable for shoes/hats/bags etc. I designed the storage based on what I wanted to go in it, rather than fitting what I had into any wardrobe! This would also be the same for desks/craft stuff etc- I’m sure you would find something there that works!

My DD 12 is naturally messy too. I re decorated her bedroom, literally sanded all wood and repainted. Replaced underlay and carpet. Replaced all furniture and bedding. Bought tons of storage and a high sleeper with loads of storage. She just fills it up! With old laundry, water bottles, crisp packets!

Far less stuff, and enough storage. If she has a sock drawer I would add ikea divider baskets for regular socks, school socks, thick socks or whatever. But everything should be half full, not rammed into the drawer.

I don’t like high beds, no where to sit easily, pain to make bed or get her to as too awkward. Get a low bed with 2-3 drawers built in underneath. Perfect for spare bedding, and extra general storage.

I would have one desk. Drawers underneath for school or art stuff. That way she has to put away art stuff to do school work and vis versa

Not sure if these links will work -

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My DD struggles with organisation and tidiness too OP.

In her room she has a large desk (Ikea limmnon one) and either side she's got ikea Alex drawers. One is for her hairbrush, bobbles make up etc and the other is for her jewellery making supplies.

She also has a triple wardrobe - hanging space then a third section with shelves. I have labelled boxes in there for pj's, underwear, PE and dance kit.

She's 13 now so I have linked her monthly pocket money to having a tidy room. I don't ever stop her getting the cash, it's just an incentive and both my DD's have some other stuff like dog walking that they also do. If it's getting near to "payday" I'll gently remind her to tidy and she goes and does it. She's also built the habit now of making her bed every morning.

We did a big declutter prior to re arranging her room and this helped as there was just less stuff and clothes.

What has helped for my tween age daughter is having one desk, but also having clearly defined storage. So there is a Kallax unit next to the desk with a box for craft, a box for games, a box for stationery, etc. Gets out, uses, puts away. One desk means stuff has to be put away or the next activity can't happen.

It's a bit carrot and a bit stick, if you like. It seems to be working, she designated a place for dirty laundry, and has started making her bed most days.

My son has mild adhd and was a walking disaster

I had a list of things to do to tidy his room and it stayed on his wall for years

Literally

1. Pick up books and put on bookshelf
2. Pick up worn clothes

But it worked !

Anyway he found it easier with a room with lots of storage

Low bed is better because high beds are a nightmare for changing sheets and locating squashed quality streets

My son is now actually very tidy bit absolutely everything has a place and we bought him a Kallax with labelled boxes

Also we make him tidy daily because otherwise he gets completely
Overwhelmed

IKEA pax has a pullout tray that you could put at desk height in the wardrobe. Easy tidy up! Use this for craft stuff and you could put drawers below.these could be labelled for tidy up ease.

Go minimalist. I am autistic. This is what I do for myself and my children.

Start with an empty room. Add in a bed with no storage (can be high rise, but no storage).

Add in anything that can't be made a mess of, to make it cosy. (Table, rug, lamp, pictures on walls, mirrors, curtains, chair, lights, bean bag).

Make sure there is lots of floor and table space. And you can create zones with rugs, paint, furniture, etc. if that is what she wants. But no "stuff".

Is it at all possible to store everything/anything else outside her room? E.g. chest of drawers for clothes, IKEA kallax for toys.

In morning she chooses her clothes and takes them to room to dress. After school she picks one kallax box of stuff to take to her room. If she wants to use something else, first kallax box is put back first. Just chuck everything back in the box.

If not possible to store stuff outside room, then try same rules with kallax inside the room. But fill every cube with a box, it makes it easier to sweep up a mess into the box.

Happy to answer any questions if that doesn't make sense.

My 10yo is exactly the same, also awaiting assessment for ASD, also loves craft and dolls. The best time for us was when we had a spare room and kept a lot of her things in there and a really minimal amount in her room. Unfortunately we can't do that now as we had another child and they needed the room. I don't think I would get a high bed. I think a bed with built in drawers would be my first choice because DD stuffs so much under her bed at the moment. For us the one desk is piled high and rarely used so I don't think more desks would add anything. My ideal would be to only keep clothes, books, dolls and soft toys in her room and then allow one box of toys or lego or one craft project in at a time. But we don't have the space in the rest of the house for that so it's just a mess all the time currently. Hoping to really get on top of it when DC3 goes to nursery later this year.

Also, make sure storage is never full. Keep decluttering clothes, toys and crafts until they fill two thirds to three quarters of available storage.

My teen dd finds it hard to keep things tidy but she also hates mess! So the key fir her is to “have a place goes everything” and I also help her to have regular mini decluttering sessions - to get rid of bits of paper she doesn’t need, clothes that will no longer be worn. My advice - I would not have multiple desks (could end up very cluttered) but have dedicated storage for craft stuff, sewing stuff, etc.

Agree that storage should never be full !!!

I am messy.

A couple of things that have really helped me, that haven't already been mentioned.

All storage is portable in my dressing area so. Instead of drawers there are shelves with boxes or baskets that can be taken to the mess, filled and replaced.

I have a couple of matching coat rack hooks on the wall. Things that used to end up on the floor are easily hung on the hooks, and if not totally tidy at least reasonably so. When I get clothes out the wardrobe the hangers also go on these hooks so they are easy to grab if I am going to rehang something or easy to grab a few after washing so clothes are hung up directly, rather than being in a pile in the room.
If the bedroom is big enough, could it be divided into a bedroom, just for sleeping and the rest of the room separate so that at least she is always sleeping in a calm space with no clutter. I am lucky enough to have a separate dressing room that contains all my mess and my actual room is tidy (for the first time in my 60 odd year life.)

Just practically speaking:

High bed with reading nook underneath, babies could live on one side while not being played with.

Kallax shelving with lots of bins (you can even build a bed frame on top of kallax shelving I believe) maybe color coded bins for different types of things? Yellow for sewing, gray for toys, white for clothes.

If you do one long desk/table you could divide in half (maybe with a spool rack) and get her a rolling chair, one side for organized school supplies (loads of ideas online how to style/organize a school desk) one side for knitting stuff

Hooks on wall for backpack and jackets, shoe rack beneath for school shoes

Clothes in one place. Sewing in another. Craft in another. I took DS's clothes out of his wardrobe into a chest of drawers, and his wardrobe is full IKEA metal mesh drawers for toys & games. I like them because they're a bit see through. Having some clothes hanging and some in drawers didn't work, he needs them all together.

We are against desks in bedrooms at the moment. They just turned into giant piles of everything that was difficult to tidy. We have little lap desks instead to use on beds or beanbags. They never used the desks anyway (see above) so in the end we gave up. Sewing is a dining table activity.

Have one kallax box or similar designated as a "projects in progress" place, and clear it out with her on the first of the month.

Hooks are great. On the wall, the back of the door, back of the wardrobe...

@Notcontent

Agree that storage should never be full !!!

Well this is revelation.

I see a half full drawer and think now what else can I get in there!

Depends on space doesn't it. In a large room airy storage that isn't full is ideal.

We have some small rooms/kitchen so ot is definitely a case of every available space. I think airier is easier.

I have the same issue with my messy dd. She loves collecting and creating things but seems not to see mess. I'm in the process of sorting her room. I am freeing up a lot of storage. I think the only way to keep on top of the issue is to have frequent clear outs of books, stuff she isn't using etc. I'm also going to give her plenty of wardrobe space etc. It should all help. I'm also going to add places where she can display stuff she makes, noticeboards etc.

What about using a Kallax-type unit as a room divider? So one side is the craft side, then Kallax, then a cosy reading nook. Books and storage in between.