Do you wonder if the people you're writing about are on Mumsnet reading your post?

[KeepTwirling]

I've just had something happen to me this morning when I went to the shop. Not such a big deal but I would've liked to vent. I can't post about it because the woman/women involved could be on mumsnet (Everyone is a suspect nowadays) and from the details, they'll know it's me.

This brings me to post instead about something I've always wondered.

Do posters, especially those who think their post could be outing, ever consider that those people they're writing about could be on Mumsnet, and regardless of namechange, the details would be obvious to anyone involved?

I've seen many posts where I thought the details sound outing, regardless of switched bits of information.

Has anyone ever had someone act strange around them after their post or confront them about it?

I have always wondered this too. I have never had call to write about anyone who I know is on Mumsnet but I do click on posts to check they aren't about me

Yes, but that's what name change is for, its not to stop people from recognising themselves in a situation, is so when they do recognise themselves, and thus the poster, they can't search back through old threads and find out they hate their husband/are shagging their PT/want to kill the MIL etc

@EmmaPaella I've seen a few thread topics and wondered if it could be me, then upon clicking and reading, it's so far removed from anything about me. Lol

Usually something generic though. For example, someone could write 'Aibu to think my neighbour should...'

I click to know if I'm the neighbour and what I should do. But the OP doesn't apply to me.

I’ve read a situation that I recognised before, I wasn’t directly involved but knew the people / had heard both sides of the story iyswim. It was enlightening reading it written down as the story was heavily edited to put that party in favour.

I often think when reading threads that it’s the same. Posters rarely post a true and accurate account for fear of being mullered so give their best version.

I wouldn't ever start a thread on someone else for that reason. I do sometimes mention anecdotes involving friends or family members within a thread, and I do worry a bit in case they see them, but think in most cases they might suspect it was them but wouldn't really know without trawling through my other threads to get more info about me - and I try to namechange enough to make that difficult.

@SamBeckettsLastLeap Yes I know. Namechanging is one thing.

But regardless of posting history, if they're currently posting about someone and saying how they feel, those involved will know it's about them. It doesn't matter what they've posted before.

Come to think of it, I've also seen two different threads where I felt the OP was being nicer than they really wanted to be about their neighbour/friend and I think it could be because those people could be reading.

yes - plenty of people seem not to worry about what they post about - it does stop me

I wouldn't post anything particularly outing, as even with a name change that person would know it was me and that I'd been posting about their personal life all over the Internet. Some threads are just so obvious that you would know straight away if it was about you and who posted it. If I'm posting anecdotes about someone else I'll probably change the sex, age, relationship etc.

@SeaKingdom and @BarefootHippieChick I agree, I do that too.

I once stumbled on a post that was clearly about me but many details were incorrect. As it went on the OP lied more blatantly and the replies said some very nasty things about me. It was awful to read even though I knew what she was saying wasn’t true. Since then I never believe the OP’s version of a story completely.

@SamBeckettsLastLeap

Yes, but that's what name change is for, its not to stop people from recognising themselves in a situation, is so when they do recognise themselves, and thus the poster, they can't search back through old threads and find out they hate their husband/are shagging their PT/want to kill the MIL etc

Yes, exactly. And excellent username. Not that I imagine SB doing a lot of leaping.

This is exactly why I wouldn't post about any situation that anyone could recognise, ever!

hollyivy did you figure out who was posting? That's awful.

@KeepTwirling I came across a post that was 100% written by my SIL 😂
I never told her, I don't want her to know I saw it.

Usually something generic though. For example, someone could write 'Aibu to think my neighbour should...' I click to know if I'm the neighbour and what I should do

Yes me too!

I once read a post that was about me. It was a reply to someone and there were a handful of details in the post that made me think it might be about me, so I had a look at the poster’s history and that confirmed it for me. It was interesting hearing this person’s perspective on something I’d done. It wasn’t something awful where there was a right or wrong behaviour but just a decision I had made that had hurt their feelings. From what they said, I can understand why they thought I’d made that decision, but if they knew the truth, it would be far more hurtful if I ever said anything in real life or on MN so it’s not something I’d ever mention to them.

@BarefootHippieChick

hollyivy did you figure out who was posting? That's awful.

Yes it was someone I had considered a friend so she was using things I had told her in that context but wildly inaccurate.

Imagine if someone said that your husband left you (and this was true) but said that it was because you had cheated on him (untrue). Or that you had injured yourself (true) but it was because you were drunk (untrue). Those are examples and not what she said because I don’t wish to attract her attention.