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Original poster

What’s it like to fall in love in your forties?!

40 replies

Whatayear81 · 08/01/2022 08:26

8 years divorced. 47 years old.

Dipped toes in on line dating and it’s been pleasant so far…. Nice men, nice chats, no inappropriate messages from them or, god forbid, a d*¥k pic!, but I’ve not been inclined to go for any second dates.

However am I imagining that a relationship in early stages is going to feel the same as when I was last fell in love in my twenties! Ie full on butterflies, counting down days, minutes, seconds until back together etc

Or does falling in love in your forties and beyond feel more…. Sensible?!

OP posts:

PermanentTemporary · 08/01/2022 11:40

I promised ds that nobody would move in while he was at home (probably TMI)

We mostly meet at his house, I'm lucky his children are a bit older though he still has one at home sometimes.

Ds has now met him 3 times but all quite chilled.

AuntieMarys · 08/01/2022 12:14

Our dcs were all adults. Made it easier.

NannyOggsWhiskyStash · 08/01/2022 12:33

I met my Dutch fiance 6 years ago on Tinder, he was the only person I swiped, and I was only on it for 3 days. I was 46 then, recently turned 53, and he proposed on my birthday. So yes, it can happen. Have fun!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Dating General relationships

AllOfTheDwarves · 08/01/2022 14:45

It was amazing tbh. All the butterflies and feeling excited to see him but alongside it a much more confident me than I was in my 20s - I knew I wasn't interested in game-playing or being messed around. I was stronger, more sure if the kind of man/relationship I wanted and I knew my worth. It's made it the best relationship I've ever had as I have the confidence to speak up when I'm not happy about something etc and he is the kind of man who will listen and will work through it with me which is so liberating after years of being silenced by exH.

goodthinking99 · 08/01/2022 14:59

With regard to kids mine was 4, his were 10 and 12 when we met, and we decided (after a couple of years) that we'd get a house together when his youngest left for university and mine went to secondary school, and that's what we've done. I did wonder about waiting until mine was 18...but that seemed a bit of stretch. Moved 2 months ago and all seems fine so far

nannybeach · 08/01/2022 15:07

Met at work, me 40,him 32. Had baby, got married,other kids really liked him. Been together over 30 years. Much better than the one in my teens

scooterbear · 08/01/2022 15:16

I'm 42 And very much in love with DP. If anything falling in love with him has been more intense then when I fell in love in my twenties. I still get excited to see him, I pine for him when we aren't together, I think about him all the time. It's pathetic really

CamsPaisleyCuffs · 08/01/2022 15:37

I'm 46 and been with BF for 18 months. He's a few years younger. Met when he came to do some work in my house during the first lockdown. It really was love at first sight for both of us, though both having had horrible long marriages which ended miserably, we played our cards closed to our chests and didn't say we loved each other for the first 6 months. On the last day working in the house he asked me on a date. Still like a couple of teenagers, can't be together enough but still have our separate interests which makes our time together even more valuable. Message each other all the time, amazing sex, cheerleaders for each other and shoulders to cry on. Neither of us do drama, we had enough of that in our previous lives, and we have a huge amount of respect and trust for one another. It just feels easy with him.

Completely agree with PP about having a confidence that only comes with age/maturity. It's the best relationship I've ever been in. Every day he makes me feel like I am the most beautiful, kind, funny, intelligent, sexy, confident woman he has ever met. I know I'm all those things anyway but it's nice to be reminded daily.

CJat10 · 08/01/2022 19:26

I went against the MN "single mothers instruction book" and introduced 7 Yr old to him really quickly. Circumstances forced it and tbh it was absolutely fine. Had he been one of many, I can't imagine I would have but he was very special from the off. He was also very involved with his own children so I knew he was a good father. She has been utterly blessed by having him in her life.

Beakerandbungle · 08/01/2022 20:46

I just want to say this thread is giving me so much hope! Thank you for starting it OP

arethereanyleftatall · 08/01/2022 22:16

@Whatayear81

8 years divorced. 47 years old.

Or does falling in love in your forties and beyond feel more…. Sensible?!

It's better!! So, so much better.

You know what you want
You don't have to settle due to ticking clocks or whatever.

arethereanyleftatall · 08/01/2022 22:32

Re sex. That's better too. I'm sure every relationship is different, but I got with my ex dh when I was 20. Shy, no confidence sexually. Didn't say what I wanted. And once you've lived years with someone not saying what you wanted, it's too difficult to start. Ime. Now, with new men, I have no such concerns.

Grandadwasthatyou · 09/01/2022 01:16

Both in our 60's. Met online but fairly long distance so only meet every few weeks. I find it completely different to when I was younger. No playing games, no taking umbrage at insignificant things like I used to do.

We are also very open in our communication and I won't just keep quiet or go along with things if I don't want to. Sex with him is great although I don't think I could do without the estradiol pessaries ( oestrogen) which have been my saviour!

ThackeryBinks · 09/01/2022 10:18

Met mine by accident I was 40 he was 44. We were both just out of abusive relationships. Both of us had a desperate need to feel alive. It's been very intense but we are still going strong 7 years on!

HelloCanYouHearMe · 09/01/2022 10:40

I met DP at the start of lockdown via Tinder. Of course at the time, we weren't allowed to meet up, so it was a good while before we met in person.... lots of texts and face time calls up to that point

I was a lot more guarded initially after a few bad relationship experiences, but i'm blissfully happy and can't imagine life without him

Sex wise, as some PPs have said - when you're in your 40s you know what you want and aren't afraid to ask for it (or at least I am ) i'm having the best sex of my life!

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