How did your parents and inlaws react when you told them you were pregnant? *TW

[Moretears]

My story: after many years of infertility with multiple surgeries, multiple rounds of IVF and miscarriages we finally found out we are pregnant, and there is a heartbeat . We are moving abroad in a couple of weeks so timing isn't great, but we have been trying for years so we've learned that in our case we couldn't hold off making lifestyle choices whilst we try for a baby.

Anyway, we just told the inlaws, and MIL burst into tears, saying she is "devastated" as she has longed for a grandchild and now she won't get one.

Has anyone else had a negative reaction to pregnancy from their parents or inlaws? Please tell me I'm not alone in this one!

My parents are dead.
MIL was kind of vaguely pleased but not particularly effusive about it.
FIL said ‘oh but what about ‘my dog name’, how will he cope? Will he have to come and live with us?’

My sister and our friends were at least thrilled for us 🤷‍♀️

Both sides were over the moon. But they will see their grandchild often. It is not the same situation as you so they won't react in the same way. I do understand why she'd feel upset, whether she should have tried to conceal it or not!

I agree with others - that's not a negative reaction to you being pregnant that's a positive reaction to you being pregnant, but a negative reaction to the fact you're all moving away.

You've got a load of emotional things she's dealing with all on top of each other - the fact that her son is imminently moving abroad - which she's probably been struggling with, but trying to be supportive about, add the news of a much longed for grandchild, but that that grandchild is going to be born in a different country and it sounds like the emotions all just got too much for her.

Assuming she's normally a decent MIL. You/your DH need to give her a big hug, reassure her you'll visit/ she can visit and that you'll send lots of pictures and video chat and just give her a bit of time to get her head round it all.

My mother in law is lovely, but I think that she would react to same way if we told her we were expecting and moving abroad. Tbh she'd probably struggle if we were moving a few hours away.

My (now ex) MiL told then DP that I'd got pregnant on purpose to trap him for his money and car (because his minimum wage job and crap car were so attractivethat I just had to force him to stay with me). Another member of his family said we'd have fat babies because "Ciao is a big girl". I was a size 10 and my babies were the smallest of all their generation

Many congratulations. I hope you have a healthy and successful pregnancy.

Both my parents were dead, MIL was pleased, but my uncle really surprised me. He nearly cried when I told him. He and my auntie had had fertility issues and ended up adopting before they had my cousin. They were both so overjoyed for me, and became surrogate grandparents as both of my parents were dead.

My auntie loathed knitting, but she knitted a lovely couple of cardigans for DD, and when I sent her a photo of DD drowning in a babygro that was much too big for her (she was a tiny baby) she rushed out and bought some "small baby" clothes.

My mum cried (I like to think happy tears ) both times.
DD was IVF and we'd not told anyone but mum knew I had gynae issues and had been to hospital a few times, she's a worrier and always imagines the worst so she was thinking I had cancer or something so a baby was a relief in more ways than one.
DS was a spontaneous conception when DD was 18 months so I got a card saying DD was being promoted to big sister and due date was deceased dads birthday so cue more tears.
In laws where just pleased for us but I'm pretty sure my mother in law would react the same way as yours if our circumstances were similar.

Mum gasped and hugged me and was happy. Dad said "oh no" (first instinct was fear for my safety, he was then thrilled). MiL was just sort of oh that's nice - very understated. FiL same, said "that'll be nice for you".

My sister dropped something and wailed and cried with joy and was just so happy she couldn't speak- it was beautiful, I will never forget it.

We had been trying for 18 months.

MIL was over the moon, and very excited. I can still remember her screams of excitement over the phone when DH told her. We are close with her as are both of our DD's.

My mother on the other hand, screamed at me that I had ruined her life, why didn't I tell her we were trying to get pregnant as she has a right to know these things, then told me she was disappointed in me and didn't speak to me for 2 weeks (it was fucking bliss tbh). I am now NC with her due to this and many, many other reasons and she doesn't know the DD's

Mine told me to get rid of it, your not ready. Then refused to engage in any baby conversations at all, she even got pissed off with my terrible morning sickness

However, I think your mums just sad her grandparent experience won’t be what she had pictured. I’m sure she will come round to being excited for you, rather than sad about her situation

When i told df I was pregnant with dc 4 he asked had I worked out what was causing it yet!! In jest obviously but we had a serious chat when he saw dc 4 awake.. He was sure baby's eyes didn't open for a few weeks..
No df that's dkittens!
Oh and he is my biological df..

'are you keeping it'- apparently i caught my mum off guard and she wanted to check before she got excited and got the knitting patterns out!

DP & I waited until I was 20 weeks before announcing that we were having a very much planned baby. Everyone was delighted except the Pil's. I showed Mil our scan photo and she took it off me, looked at it and then smacked it face down on the kitchen counter top and said "you will be returning to work I presume? My son isn't a free pass to a cushy life where you lounge at home sponging off his wages." She then 'accidently dropped' her washing up sponge on the scan photo and thrust it back at me dripping wet. Fil just pretended that he didn't understand what was going on and ignored Mil's behaviour. DP also turned a blind eye out of embarrassment and a misguided belief that his mum could do no wrong. Pil's barely had any contact with any of our DC but that's their loss.

Oh and I worked full time and continued to do so after the birth earning way more than her son did!

My mum and MIL would've reacted the same as your MIL; please don't see it as a negative, it's a measure of how thrilled she really is. I realise that's not what you had hoped as a reaction though.

My Ddad could not stop grinning, like he had a hanger in his mouth.

All of them doted on DS and I encouraged every minute. It's like a mini DS Appreciation Society when they meet.

DM would carry DS (now a teen and taller than her) around on a velvet cushion if she could.

When I got pregnant with DS 2 ( ninth pregnancy with 20 years between DS2 and 2)... My Mum's first words were " you are having all the tests aren't you ?"

My Dad didn't speak to me for months and said the baby wouldn't be welcome at his house

My mum told me that I'd never get a promotion now and shouldn't go ahead with the baby. She then got her DP (who was actually a married man and she was his OW) to phone me and tell me how hard his sister had found life as a single mother. Very odd because I wasn't single and am still with now DH 16 years later.

Both mum and inlaws were happy for us

I can see your mils view tbh. Its bitter/sweet for her. I'd be upset too but hopefully in time and maybe some reassuring that you'll keep her involved as much as possible she'll be happier. Congrats op

When I told my mum I was pregnant with twins...she cried for half an hour intermittent with sobs of how will you cope (I'm a twin)... never really did get over it :)

As others have said, she's not being negative about the news but I suppose she is just really struggling with the fact that you are moving away and especially if this is her first grandchild. Whilst it's wonderful news for you I think her heart is breaking a bit at the thought of you all being so far away.

My dad’s reaction was “I didn’t need to bleach your worktops then”. I’d been vomiting day and night and he was certain I was given myself repeat food poisoning. He’d thrown all food out out of my fridge in the bin and bleached the work surfaces. He is a great and slightly indulgent grandad

@user1471462428

My dad’s reaction was “I didn’t need to bleach your worktops then”. I’d been vomiting day and night and he was certain I was given myself repeat food poisoning. He’d thrown all food out out of my fridge in the bin and bleached the work surfaces. He is a great and slightly indulgent grandad

This is my favourite reaction so far!

My mum said "who's is it?"

I was only 16 but I had been with my then boyfriend for more than 6 months so it was a strange reaction!

When I said it was boyfriends she said "get down to that abortion clinic"

Then she went to work.

That evening my Dad said "you're 17 get an abortion"

I know it's not ideal when your 16 year old daughter is pregnant but the "who's is it" just summed up everything my Mum thinks about me!