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Original poster

If you recognised someone here, what would you do?

44 replies

Crazygf · 07/01/2022 09:48

I have see posts on here off my partners exw. It was referencing a previous thread so I search the username and it was clear it was her. I have now seen a few things I shouldn’t but don’t know what to do. I can’t really tell her, I don’t have a relationship with her except when it’s logical about the children, I want to tell my partner as something she’s written about will impact our life through the children but then feel it’s an invasion of her privacy.
I want to carry on looking but know it’s bad to do so.

OP posts:

ReadySteadyTwins · 07/01/2022 11:02

She's planning to go for full custody just to get more money through CSA?

Er, sorry, bugger that. She's trying to line her pockets by deliberately reducing their father in their lives. It would be different if she had genuine concerns. But she's literally saying "I'm having a new baby and want more cash, so I'll stop my other kids seeing their dad, and cash in that way". That's vile. She deserves no favours from you.

She's like a bond villain, revealing their evil plan.

Print it out. And use it when you need to show that she rates cash for herself higher than her children seeing their father.

WorraLiberty · 07/01/2022 11:04

I wouldn't say anything.

She's happy to post her business/problems on a public forum and you're a member of the public 🤷

notapizzaeater · 07/01/2022 11:05

I'd not say anything either, I'd just watch and use the info. If she's sharing it on here then anyone can see it.

AnonyMum21 · 07/01/2022 11:08

@Daisy38

I think in this case I wouldn’t say anything to her but I would tell your partner so that you can both be prepared if and when she goes for full custody. She can’t hide a pregnancy for very long, so just congratulate her when she tells you both and then if she starts legal action, act surprised but because you know about it, you can have everything ready to rebut anything she says and you can be prepared to argue why the current arrangement should remain. Good luck with whatever is coming!

Totally agree with this

Don’t worry about breaching her privacy, or feel guilty about looking back on previous threads - it was her choice to share personal details on a public forum, not like you have been reading her diaries!

But do be careful on what YOU post … it goes both ways, isn’t this thread likely to out you to her now?
Wishing you luck, x

Original poster

Crazygf · 07/01/2022 11:09

@busyeatingbiscuits yes I’m sure she will read this thread and work it out. I’m hoping she does so I don’t need to do anything about it. I very much doubt she will say anything to me

@AppleKatie no she didn’t say in those words but there was a thread about maintenance and her children and asking about what he would pay etc because she was trying for a baby, wanted to be at home and so could have her current children more and how would it all work as money off exh would help with that

OP posts:

Sprucewillis · 07/01/2022 11:11

She will likely recognise you in this post now OP if she is a regular MN user. There is a lot of detail in this thread now!

Original poster

Crazygf · 07/01/2022 11:15

@ReadySteadyTwins Bond villain, that made me laugh

Thanks everyone. I think I’ll tell my dp what I have found, would mean telling him his exw is pregnant before anyone else knows but that we should keep a note of when we have the dsc so she can’t use anything against us.

I’m keen to not spoil the dsc just to point score so will discuss with do what our approach will be.
I’m glad I know, I’d rather be prepared
Thanks everyone

OP posts:

AppleKatie · 07/01/2022 11:17

Well she’s allowed to ask the questions and work things out in her own mind. And if she chooses to do that online in a public place you are entitled to read it

She may well not actually act upon it and she may realise (or have it pointed out to her!) that she doesn’t actually want to reduce the DCs contact with their father/that isn’t in their best interests.

I would read/show your DH but I wouldn’t be unduly concerned she can’t go to court and say ‘I want to have my DC more and despite him being a good and involved father I’d like to reduce contact so he pays more maintenance’. Well she could but I don’t think it’d be wise…

Winniemarysarah · 07/01/2022 11:27

I’m a bit surprised at some of these replies given the circumstances. If it was my partners ex on here plotting and scheming to take his children away so his extra maintenance money could help pay for her new baby, I wouldn’t be giving her any heads up or warnings at all. I’d have no shame in reading all of her posts and showing my partner so he can have an idea of what exactly she’s planning on doing with their children

Silversurfer101 · 07/01/2022 11:34

I wouldn’t feel bad at all about reading posts that are on a public forum! Especially as half of the time they seem to end up in the Daily Fail anyway .

LondonWolf · 07/01/2022 11:38

she’s pregnant and is going to go for full custody of my sc so she can claim high amounts of CSA

And she posted this on MN? Without having her arse handed to her?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/01/2022 12:07

Wouldn't it be more useful to continue reading so you know what she's planning?

HollowTalk · 07/01/2022 12:17

This is very strange.

A woman posting that she was going to insist on full custody so that she could screw more money out of her ex would get her arse handed to her on here.

Your post would clearly be read by her - you know that - so you are giving her the chance to backtrack.

I just don't believe this - I'd like to know her POV.

Original poster

Crazygf · 07/01/2022 12:34

I hope she does back track and not go for full custody so hope she does see this.

Her post were over a few threads, and only by putting them together I could see what she has been thinking about.

She may just be asking the questions just incase and not actually go through with it, I know lots of people just post on here for information only and not actually do anything about it.

We’ve been looking at new homes over the past 8 months and the dsc have probably told her that we’re buying a new house, she seems happy with her dp but I know she doesn't want my dp to buy with me. She did text him telling him how he should protect his money . Funny now to think of it.
Maybe her asking about full custody was her retaliating to this news.
Who knows, will see what the future holds

OP posts:

Whatayear81 · 07/01/2022 12:37

@HollowTalk

This is very strange.

A woman posting that she was going to insist on full custody so that she could screw more money out of her ex would get her arse handed to her on here.

Your post would clearly be read by her - you know that - so you are giving her the chance to backtrack.

I just don't believe this - I'd like to know her POV.

Exactly

And let’s face it

Anyone who starts a thread on mumsnet always seems to portray themselves as pure as the driven snow and all other parties shockingly unreasonable

Whatayear81 · 07/01/2022 12:38

I see her POV though

If I was on maternity leave, I too would probably think it was in childrens interest to have a little more time with me and new sibling. Short term

PowerRangersGo · 07/01/2022 12:39

I got outed on here once and felt sick for days. Someone said 'Is that you ,my name ?) It was awful. Still don't know who it was exactly but was terrible and really made me realise how popular MN is and how careful we have to be

Sprucewillis · 07/01/2022 12:47

@Whatayear81

I see her POV though

If I was on maternity leave, I too would probably think it was in childrens interest to have a little more time with me and new sibling. Short term

Agree but not grounds to restructure finance and access formally. I expect when reality bites she will appreciate the rest from older DC. I am guessing this is her 2nd and she's underestimating how tired she will be.

I also think people talk a lot of guff on here to get opinion and in reality she may now even have this convo with DP.

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 07/01/2022 12:55

It's not an invasion of privacy. If you write something on social media then it's effectively a public announcement.

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