How do you not sweat the small stuff?

[GinandGobbledegook]

I react and let small things wind me up. My life would be so much more stressfree if I didn't let people wind me up.

I got an incredibly patronising email today and instead of just letting it go over my head, I felt angry and wound up for more of the day.

Has anyone got any tips on not letting these things affect your day?

I don't really know how to tell you how to do it, but I really really don't. I'm quite well known for not "sweating stuff" that actually I probably should care about a bit more! I've had a couple of points in my life where fairly massive things happened that I could do absolutely fuck all about and the only thing I could control was how I reacted to it and moved on from it. I've come to realise that there is rarely a catastrophe if X doesn't happen exactly right, or something gets missed. Nothing happens for a reason, there is no karma, there is no "plan" that we have to fulfill or achieve. We have a series of days / weeks / years in our lives and if something doesn't quite pan out, something else will. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about climate change or anything else that is out of my sphere of influence. I care deeply and work hard for my kids and my students and my loved ones but I recognise there are limits to my influence and control and ultimately they will make their own choices. Its a little bit influenced by Buddhist principles of accepting that a lot of life is or can be a bit shit, a lot of that is caused by selfishness and is inevitable. You can choose to limit your suffering by taking a moderate approach in all things and most importantly knowing that nothing is permanent, everything changes, comes and goes, dies or is lost or broken eventually. It doesn't mean its failed or ruined, just past. And something else will happen along.

Mindfulness is brilliant for this.
Listening to thoughts but not engaging with them.
Breathing exercises.
Emotional freedom technique.

It's an automatic behaviour but by becoming more aware you can pause it.

I think the matra of 'Will this matter in a year? Will this matter in a month? Will this even matter in a week or a day?' is a good one. A lot of shit really only matters to the extent we make it matter - the world move on fast.

I always think will it matter in 5 years. If not I let it go and don’t worry about it.

I don't normally sweat the small stuff. However, just occasionally, something seemingly insignificant will wind me up a treat! Usually when I'm in a low mood anyway.

I think you need to put work into being positive. I sometimes, when I remember use the 6 minute journal and find it pretty good. Listing things you're grateful for, positive affirmations etc. Maybe yoga and meditation?