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Original poster

Wedding etiquette

19 replies

HippyMoon · 06/01/2022 12:40

If you were going to a wedding where the couple had booked out a self-catering house, would you expect to financially contribute a nominal amount towards your room? Thank you!

OP posts:
Somethingsnappy · 06/01/2022 12:58

I don't think I'd expect to, but if the couple asked, I wouldn't mind. But I don't really know what the etiquette in that situation would be, so just bumping for you really.

RunRunGingerbreadMan · 06/01/2022 12:59

Yes I would, but I'd also expect it to be okay to choose to stay elsewhere if we preferred.

RonniePickering · 06/01/2022 13:00

I wouldn't expect to no, but would be willing to if asked.

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Comefromaway · 06/01/2022 13:01

If I chose to stay overnight, yes. But I would also expect to be able to choose to stay elsewhere if I preferred.

TulipsTwoLips · 06/01/2022 13:06

If I had to stay in that room then no I wouldn’t expect to, although I would contribute if asked nicely. Choice is the key though as other people have said

ComtesseDeSpair · 06/01/2022 13:14

I would ask what the arrangements were, expecting to contribute.

codexa · 06/01/2022 13:22

Someone would have to pay ME to stay in a houseful of people for a wedding TBH.

All that running around getting ready, little privacy. God no! Hope there are plenty of bathrooms too.

If you plan to stay there, ask the other guests sharing what they think.

burnoutbabe · 06/01/2022 13:22

I'd probably not want to do this unless it was family, so my parents staying and say sisters wedding. I'd not really want to be in self catering with many other random people beyond my own direct family.

So awkward queuing for bathrooms (assume not everyone gets an ensuite) and communal meals and how to share all the costs out and do you have to be sociable ALL THE TIME. Do we all have to clean before we leave etc?

Original poster
HippyMoon · 06/01/2022 13:34

Thank you, good to get a variation of opinions! Our thoughts would be to say something like, 'accomodation provided within the airbnb, feel free to donate towards your room'.

It's a small wedding with family and close friends only, not sure if that makes a difference.

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dreamkitchenhelp · 06/01/2022 13:44

Personally if I booked the house, I would expect to pay the accommodation. However, it is not unreasonable to ask for a kitty for all meals outside the main wedding breakfast and cleaning.

If you did want donations maybe something like this:-

" accomodation is provided within the airbnb, if you wanted to make a donations towards your room, that would be gratefully received"

Are you thinking of a donation for both food & drink as well as the room?

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 06/01/2022 13:47

If we had to stay overnight somewhere, and the venue was competently priced, we'd chose that. If there were a lot cheaper options nearby, we'd chose them.

Crimblecrumble1990 · 06/01/2022 13:49

I would have no problem paying towards my room but would struggle with this request. Are you thinking £10 or £100? Do you actually need their money to cover the rooms? If so, I think you should just say that.

Original poster
HippyMoon · 06/01/2022 14:03

@dreamkitchenhelp

Personally if I booked the house, I would expect to pay the accommodation. However, it is not unreasonable to ask for a kitty for all meals outside the main wedding breakfast and cleaning.

If you did want donations maybe something like this:-

" accomodation is provided within the airbnb, if you wanted to make a donations towards your room, that would be gratefully received"

Are you thinking of a donation for both food & drink as well as the room?

That's what we were thinking with the wording.

Unsure re: food outside of wedding meal. Only really just thought of booking out self-catering accomodation and haven't got that far with the planning but I suppose a kitty would make the most sense? Or people can donate in advance for that too so that we can pick everything up? I don't know tbh!

OP posts:
Original poster
HippyMoon · 06/01/2022 14:04

@Crimblecrumble1990

I would have no problem paying towards my room but would struggle with this request. Are you thinking £10 or £100? Do you actually need their money to cover the rooms? If so, I think you should just say that.
Probably about £25 a night, with the option to stay up to 3 nights
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BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 06/01/2022 14:08

I wouldn't ask for a donation without providing a figure. It adds awkwardness of how much to give etc.

Either "please let me know if you want to book a room, it's £30 a night per room, max 3 nights"

Or "we have booked acoomodation for everyone, you are welcome to stay up to three nights. The room is on us, but you will need to bring your own food (wedding meal excepted of course!)"

If you have to organise food, donations etc it's just added unnecessary stress at an already busy time.

TurkeyRoastvBubbleandSqueek · 06/01/2022 14:16

I wouldn't actually do that at all as I think it is far too much hassle for you as the wedding couple. But enjoy yourselves whatever you decide 💐

Bubbles1st · 06/01/2022 14:19

I would say something like you are welcome to stay with us for £25 per night in self catering accommodation but fully appreciate if you'd like to make your own arrangements.

Let's them know its an affordable option which they may take but not feel like that they have too.

FazedNotPhased · 06/01/2022 14:23

No, to be honest, I wouldn't expect to pay if I'd been invited to stay in a specific venue. If you're asking people to stay in a certain place with you then you pay.

If they have a choice then you can say as above - we have booked X, feel free to join us for £Y or make your own arrangements.

Original poster
HippyMoon · 06/01/2022 17:14

Thanks everyone!

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