School mums - kids friendships

[Lotgreenwood128]

My DD started reception this year with 3 other girls from the same nursery. Nice kids and nice parents. My DD and one girl (let’s call her Lucy) became inseparable and play together all the time. I do encourage my DD to play with other kids too. Now I have a feeling Lucy’s mum is not so keen on my DD/us. She keeps on organising playdates, a joint birthday party, sports with another girl (one of the 3 from nursery). But these two girls are not overly friendly to each other…It’s not much I can do about the mum(s), they have more in common but I just don’t want my DD to miss out on forming nice friendships. She likes Lucy. My DD is an only child so I am always making sure she has playdates and see her friends. Any advice?

I mean this kindly but you need to relax and get used to it. At this very young age, it's unlikely the girls will all stay close. You need to do what Lucy's mum is doing and branch out and organise more playdates etc.

By the time they're 8 or so, they'll express more of their own preferences anyway.

Thank you for your advice :)

Are the mums friends? At that age I have found that parents just stick to the people they are already friends with and don't actually care how the kids get along. PP is right that by 8 it is a totally different ball game, my DS just invites kids now and gives my number out to his friends to pass to their mums so we can sort the logistics. DD is five and has had some friendship problems at school so I know I need to make more effort for her in the new term but its hard when the other parents are friends and don't really want to talk to the other parents.

I have older children and still have problems with this sort of thing. The reality is that mums tends to organise more stuff outside school with parents they personally like and get on with.

I love having other kids over as it makes my life easier and we are a sociable family so I just accept that I'll probably be doing more of the inviting.

Essentially you can't control other people and you have to just carry on inviting your daughter friends. I would definitely advise expanding your child's friendship group and not paying too much attention to who are their best friends. In reception why not go through all the class kids and invite them round..you will get to know more families and your daughter will make more friends.

I sympathise though as my daughter has a friend whose mum clearly doesn't like me ! Just one of those things.

Great suggestions. Thank you so much.
I have taken your advice and have invited a couple of other of her friends over for a play date. Plus I am maintaining her friendships with her former nursery friends.
These mums in particular don’t know each other more than I would know them. They are English and live in ££££ houses. We are not English by birth and live in a flat. So this could all play a part too I suspect. But that’s another topic!