I feel like a shit mum today

[vroomvroomwheelie]

DS is 3, he's been quite irritated today and so have I.

After being up 2 hours I was sick of the sound of my own voice trying to reason and explain to him why we needed to hurry on the dog walk (had to be somewhere) Then the constant battle with which socks, shoes and coat he should wear. This has gone on for 5 months now.
I shouted at him for taking so long on the potty, shouted at him for spitting his milk out, been impatient and just generally rubbish today and now he's asleep I can't stop beating myself up about it.

Feeling very very shit!!

Then do things not to be in that situation again.

Pram for the dog walk or one of those bike things.
A bib for the milk spitting.
Get clothes out the night before and let him “pick” what colour socks out of two, what colour top out two etc, so he feels included and not ordered about.

I’m sure there are lots of things to try-it’s not about him gwtting his own way, it’s about you making your life easier.

Just have one pair of shoes and one coat by the front door. Those are the ones that go on. No faffing or toddlers can derail your day.

@NoNameHere12 He was in the buggy but kept wanting to get out.
I do give him a choice of 2 items everyday, I don't order him about.
Even if I put a bib on him (which he would t allow me to anyway) he spits direct out not just a dribble.

@thinkfast He will full on refuse if I don't give him a choice of 2 different shoes etc. he's such a stubborn little thing 😫

‘I don’t order him about’.

Sometimes you have to. You’re not his friend and that’s a common mistake parents make in thinking they have to always be seen as their child’s best friend/chum.

The reality is that you are the boss and to make life pleasurable for you both, you have to be in charge and if that sucks for him for a short while, so be it.

Hey OP, we’ve all had rough days, don’t beat yourself up! Have a cuppa and thank god it’s the evening!

It’s so tough at the best of times let alone when you’re a bit off yourself.

He’s fine and you’re not a shit Mum at all.

@BleuJay I think that's my problem, I see him as my best friend most days and find discipline very hard. I'm not good at ordering about (DH would probably disagree!!)

Hi OP. It's totally up to you which parenting style you choose. Some parents don't like to say no and give their kids lots of choice. I've always worked full time and don't have time for that. You could try making a game like holding the shoes behind your back (one pair each hand) and asking your ds to pick a hand by pointing. He wears the shoes in that hand.

My preferred style is sometimes to give the dc a choice and sometimes tell them what to do. For example, my dd would wear a summer dress and sandals every day if she could. I don't let her do that in winter. I insist they brush their teeth even though they don't want to etc etc.

Sometimes kids are total pains in the bum. I find I shout more when I'm stressed because they wind me up more and my default parenting for naughty kids is shouting because that's the way I was parented. Understanding the reasoning behind it helps improve it.