Apologies if this is in the wrong place and sorry again if anything I write is upsetting.
When I was 17 I was living in a new area with my family. I didn’t have any friends there but a boy, same age, across the road was very friendly to me and keen to start a friendship. He wasn’t my usual kind of friend, but as I was new to the area I went along with it and hoped he’d be able to introduce me to people at the new school. Over a few weeks of hanging out together we started talking and I’d told him I was a virgin and wanted to lose my virginity. We were going to a party one night and I THINK I told him that I wanted to have sex. I’m not sure.
I got blind drunk at the party. We got a taxi back to his house. I was sick in the taxi. My memory then goes but I know that we had sex and I felt some pain and then I have one memory of being sick during the sex. I know that I wasn’t engaging in the sex, if that makes sense. I was just ‘there’.
My DH is a lovely man and is the only person I’ve told this story to. He was shocked and said I’d been raped. I had never seen it as rape. I went on to have a relationship with this boy for a year. To be honest, I didn’t much like him but I was lonely and friendless in a new place. It’s not a time period I’m proud of and in hindsight I was pretty depressed.
Would this be classed as some sort of assault? It’s more for my peace of mind that I want to know what other people think. I know he wasn’t drunk, as he never got drunk and preferred drugs (another story). He was from a very middle class family with Guardian-reading parents and I felt quite intimidated by them. Rape just wouldn’t have crossed my mind at that time.