Not getting frumpy..

[Junegirl2021]

Following on from a thread I read about Shirley Valentine film what would be your top tips on staying young (even at heart!) I’m 40 but can already feel people saying oh your too old to do new things, change your look etc?

I wish i knew.

people saying oh your too old to do new things, change your look maybe change your friends??! Only joking but if someone said that to me I'd tell them to fuck off. I don't look young but I do what I want.

@Junegirl2021

Following on from a thread I read about Shirley Valentine film what would be your top tips on staying young (even at heart!) I’m 40 but can already feel people saying oh your too old to do new things, change your look etc?

Maybe if you have younger people as part of Your surrounding that would help? Doesn't have to be best friends, could Be younger colleagues or nieces/ nephews etc? I work with teens and have found that helpful in keeping me 'current' and being able to understand them a little Bit more as I get their references

By people do you mean friends or family? I have a wide circle of friends of all ages, from a hobby I do. It's an active hobby and everyone is young at heart and up for trying new things.

My mother, however, thinks all women over 40 should cut their hair short, wear only sensible shoes and smocks. They shouldn't do things like rock climbing, scrambling (my hobbies) either.

I think there is a lot to be said for staying healthy and active, as not only will this help you stay a healthy weight but it gives you a glow. There is a world of difference between my 70 year old mother and a couple of 70 year old friends in my hiking group, who are still shooting up Snowdon with their long hair flying behind them 😀, they look and seem a lot younger than her.

Find another group of friends who are more like minded. You don’t have to ditch the others, but just remind yourself we all have choices about how we live. I have some really inspirational, incredibly fit female friends from a bootcamp that I do. Between them they all run, ride, ski and are all over 50. They do want they want and are completely irreverent. I have another, younger group of friends who are all slim, attractive and well dressed, but they sadly all have low self esteem and whenever I catch up with them they always obsess over losing weight/Botox/ageing. It’s a bit depressing tbh. The difference is really only outlook. I’m 46 and increasingly I just want to do what I want. I’m much less bothered about how others perceive me. I’ve had several bereavements in the last year of friends in their 40s and I just think we all have to live our lives how we want. It can all be snatched away any minute.

I feel I’m stuck in a rut, maybe I need to talk to the wall for inspiration! I had two miscarriages and feel youngish to not be needed as my two are getting older which I know has played a major part in feeling this way, it’s hard

Which people are saying such limiting and untrue things to you?

It’s nonsense. I’m over 60 as are all my friends. We wear what we like, do what we like and are interested in learning and staying informed. My DF started a degree course when he retired at 65 because he had always felt sad he never got the chance to study when he was young. My DB has just started the next level down from the toughest walks with the Ramblers Association and hes 70. The first thing I’d recommend for avoiding frumpiness is to really question what that means? If you are happy and comfortable with what you do, what you wear etc that’s fine. If you want a change then that’s entirely possible too. My friends don’t feel too old to try new clothes, new interests because they’re not. You can be limited by health and fitness and some of the same friends have had to stop certain activities due to arthritis, joint replacements and other stuff but in terms of changes to style, interests etc, they would laugh in the face of anyone who suggested they’re too old!

Avoid dairy, wheat and sugar for good skin and a body that keeps itself a healthy weight

Lots of water for clearer skin (and overall body function)

Light strength-training to keep your muscle tone

SPF

Lighter, creamier makeup, very dark browns instead of blacks around eyes

Clothes that accentuate your figure instead of hiding it

Move your “energy” around - do things, move your body, travel, experience new surroundings

Spend time with new people, of all ages. Spend time with people you respect and admire

Don’t limit yourself to your family or one friend group - then you only get to be the you you’ve always been. It’s a crabs in the bucket situation because of you change, their lives change. You find new sides of yourself through new people.