Stuck in a life rut! Living again at 32

[ThirdTimeIucky]

Please help me live again. I need some pointers on how to kick start my life. Apologies in advance for the long rant.

I left my husband in May 2020. I've basically hidden under a rock since March 2020, like many, trying to avoid Covid due to vulnerable parents. I've barely seen anyone outside my family, and often not even them. I feel like I've done nothing.

I have a four year old daughter. I went back to work after she was born part time, and unfortunately am now unable to increase my hours. Full time the wage is good, but things are tight working part time, as a single Mum. I love the people I work with who have helped me through a very difficult period of my life (things were very hard prior to leaving my husband). I turned down another full time job this year, as I worked out I'd be £60 better off. But I've been in my job 7 years, and feel like I've stood still. I'd like to retrain to actually help people and do something constructive, but I lack the finances to do this. I'm also now working exclusively from home, which I find hard and more isolating. However part of me has stayed because its easy and challenge free, at a time when so much in lying life has been turned on its head and doesn't pose issue with childcare when my daughter starts school in September.

I've met next to nobody in this time, due to living under said rock. I'm pretty happy on my own to be honest, but I miss adult company. I miss someone to talk to on an evening and honestly just physical interaction with another human who isn't 4 and prodding my face 🤣

I started volunteering at a youth organisation on the evenings I don't have my daughter, and I get out with my dog camping. But mostly alone. And of course I spend lots of time with my family.

But I hugely feel in a rut both socially and professionally. Frustrated by how much the last few years have constrained me. By some luck, in hindsight, I caught covid over Christmas, which unfortunately curtailed the first new year party I had been invited to and free to attend in years. However I do feel it might make me more confident about going out socially, as i should have decent immunity for a while going forward.

I'd love any hints or tips and advice.

In all honesty, you sound like you’re acing it. You’re a single mum, solvent, working full time, volunteering as well - you’ve got your shit together! I’m inclined to think that maybe things will naturally improve socially as you are obviously someone who will make the effort. With regards to work are there any courses or CPD you can do whilst in your current job, so you keep the security but improve your cv whilst you’re in this period of adjustment.

Hello!

Just came on to say it's sounds like you're doing brilliantly.

I am in a similar position to you socially and career wise. It's hard and Christmas has been particularly lonely.

I am ready for the next steps in my career but can't increase my hours much as I have no childcare (and also would be reluctant to do so as I would see my children less than I already do - I have a 60:40 split with their dad).

What is it you would like to do?

Some things like teaching pay a wage to retrain if you have the required skills. There are also more and more level 7 apprenticeships which are often paid for by the employer. If you are able to increase your hours there should be some opportunities for you.

As a pp said doing some cpd courses would be good whilst you're planning your next steps.

Socially...do you want to date? Have you tried online dating? Do you have many friends locally? Is your dd at school yet?

I'd like to retrain to actually help people and do something constructive, but I lack the finances to do this.

But if you’re already working from home, then surely an online or mostly online degree or postgrad degree, with tuition fees paid by a student loan, wouldn’t add to your costs? And if you chose the course well, there would inevitably be opportunities for interacting with tutors and fellow students, online or even in person.

I don’t actually think you need more to do - but this could be an excellent long term investment in your earning and personal potential.