Context; my twin brother is autistic. We’ve always been close, best friends and worst enemies at the same time. I can’t explain it.
His girlfriend (GF) has text me today asking how I managed to avoid a meltdown when he had food on his plate he didn’t like when I made a meal today.
I don’t know. It’s never been an issue, I try my best to remember what he likes and doesn’t but I’m a single parent to a DC who also has SN which can cause food avoidance so I do forget and put it on his plate.
He’s never had a meltdown in front of my DC, and he’s never to my knowledge (and we talk about these things) had a meltdown after seeing me or eating with me.
I know he has with my parents and after eating with either of my parents. And with his GF from the texts she’s sent.
His meltdowns manifest as shut down, so he just stops talking, eating or doing anything for what can be weeks (it's normally 2-3 days).
I can’t explain it. I remember when he got his diagnosis as a teenager and the person diagnosing (psychologist maybe?) said that for fraternal twins we have an incredible bond and relationship. And that’s the only way I can explain it. We don’t fall out but can bicker when together and our dad says we’re chalk and cheese personality wise. But we always make up within a few hours. It’s often been the case that I’ve picked up my phone to text him and he’s text me at that exact moment and vice versa.
I want to help his girlfriend to understand because I know he really loves her (I feel it when he talks about her) and her him. So how can I make their relationship better?
Also does anyone else have adult fraternal twins where one has ASD and they have a similar sort of relationship? I only know ID twins (we were one of 5 sets of twins at high school not all that odd in year group of 200) who say they’re the same with each other but would be interested to know if other fraternals are the same?