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Original poster

Letter ruined New Year and I'm in tears (stupid).

37 replies

Player456 · 31/12/2021 12:37

I've lived with my husband for 12 years, since we married, along with our 11 year old.

He lives in a HA property (formerly council) and has lived here for 25 years.

Please no bashing of HA tenants

A while back our neighbourhood officer came to visit (routine). He mentioned to DH that I should be put on tenancy, but Covid hit soon after,, so we forgot.

Recently we had resident liaison officer come with some surveyors about work that needed to be done. She suggested that DH put me on the tenancy as it would be beneficial for works going forward and was a simple process.

She sent the form, then phoned me to check I'd sent it back. It was a simple formality she said, I would just need to attend to sign with someone

This was a couple of months ago.

Today we received a letter from the neighbourhood manager (same one who attended in past and said my name should be added to tenancy).

The letter states that they "cannot process it due to a policy review
for sole to joint tenancy, we not under any obligation to add other people to a tenancy".

Sounds straight forward? Well no, it's bullshit. There is no added guidance for this ''review' and having just looked on their website, it clearly states that if you marry or want to add someone to your tenancy you just fill in the form and they are assigned to the tenancy.

I understand that no one reading this will understand why I'm so upset (I do have bipolar and following two deaths in my family in the last year, my MH is already at breaking point).

I feel I've been lied to. The liaison officer said it was just a formality. The man who refused us himself said it was easy, just fill in a form.

I know 'theoretically' it changes nothing, except that if DH dies, DD and me will be immediately homeless - which burns as I gave up my own HA house when we married, I should have kept it and lived apart!

I have the CEO's email, I used it before when we had some problems regarding works.

There is no explanation at all, nowhere does it mention policy review on their website, in fact they highlight how easy it is to add someone...so I feel so rejected, useless, unwanted.

We cannot contact them - they are closed till 5th January and the letter is dated 3rd December, so was deliberately held back from posting so we would receive it when they were closed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Player456 · 31/12/2021 13:01

Even more annoying, if DH is one day late paying rent, or if they want to arrange for work men to come, etc, they phone me - my private mobile, not our landline. Anything to do with the house they contact me and refer to me as Mrs Player, so they acknowledge my presence, yet refuse me to live here legally.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 31/12/2021 13:04

It does sound upsetting but I really think that you are taking it very personally.
It’s rubbish admin rather than an attack on you.
You’ve been having a tough time recently which is probably why this feels so personal but it’s really not. Try to enjoy NYE as much as you can and let them sort it out when everyone is back to work

Camperbann · 31/12/2021 13:07

@Hoppinggreen

It does sound upsetting but I really think that you are taking it very personally. It’s rubbish admin rather than an attack on you. You’ve been having a tough time recently which is probably why this feels so personal but it’s really not. Try to enjoy NYE as much as you can and let them sort it out when everyone is back to work
Yes I agree with this, and you must have given them your contact details as some point for them to have contact details.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Property legal advice
Duxiejhrhrvjz · 31/12/2021 13:08

I think to only have one tenant only is a very sensible way of doing things in this day and age. So many couples break up and it means that it’s clear who’s home it is and who should stay there.
Your situation it is entirely reasonable for you to want to stay in your home with your DD and I suggest you contact them asking if God forbid DH did pass, what would happen with you and DD. I think you are allowed to carry on living in the home.
I know one family personally who live in the family home after mums passing. I also follow someone on Instagram with a terminally ill mum who says that she will “inherit” the tenancy when her mum passes.

Billandben444 · 31/12/2021 13:12

It sounds as though the letter was the final straw for you after a rubbish year but I agree with pp, try and put it to one side and enjoy time with your family and then calmly contact them next week to find out what you need to do next. It sounds like rubbish admin tbh and nothing personal. Would it be easier for you if your husband got involved, less stressful? 💐

Stichintime · 31/12/2021 13:13

Does you partner have rights to succession? This changes everything. Including people who live in the property on the tenancy is not the same as becoming a joint tenant. If he has the right to succession and makes you a joint tennant, thats his right used up. If he doesnt make you a tenant, but lists you as living there, you have the right to succeed his tennacy if he dies before you.

Bionicname · 31/12/2021 13:19

I also wouldn’t assume that the letter was deliberately held back, the postal service has been very disrupted recently with Covid and the Christmas surge. I’m receiving Christmas cards and letters that were sent weeks ago…

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 31/12/2021 13:25

As pp said, you're taking it personally. Dry the tears and start planning your reply to them. Just because they're currently closed doesn't mean the whole discussion stops forever! I would be writing back to ask for a copy of the policy, the date it came into force and where you can find it on their website or tenants' part of the site.

Also, in the meantime I would take no more calls about workmen etc. 'Sorry, I'm not the tenant, you'll have to speak to my husband'.

SnugKnights · 31/12/2021 13:25

If they carry on being awkward OP Shelter might be able to help you.

Original poster
Player456 · 31/12/2021 13:29

@Stichintime I'm not sure what that means (sorry being really dim). He had the house originally with his ex wife when it was council, she left him before it was HA and he was sole tenant. He didn't inherit it, thanks for explaining.

Thank you all. I'm peri-menopausal, was due on a couple of weeks ago, have a migraine and awful PMS (cried like a baby at Deep Impact yesterday, even though I rarely cry), so am looking at this with heightened emotions. Haven't cried for dad yet.

Thank you all, hope you all have a fantastic New Year.

OP posts:
TreeSmuggler · 31/12/2021 13:33

Everything is OK OP, this is no big deal. It's a little annoying but it's just a computer says no type error.

It makes sense for you to be added to the tenancy, but you've been living there for 12 years without being on it, so a few more days won't hurt. A bit over the top to say you wish you never moved in with your DH over this.

Just put following it up on your to do list for next week.

EvilPea · 31/12/2021 13:39

Is it worth giving shelter a call?
This is anecdotal (so take with a pinch of salt) but I have heard of one tenancy transfer being denied as this particular association allow one change or transfer for your entire tenancy, that’s it. They are doing it to try and keep houses in circulation.

However there should be some facility for appeal as I can’t see how yours shouldn’t be allowed.

Yummypumpkin · 31/12/2021 13:44

Hey I totally understand why you're upset! You feel homeless at Christmas, betrayed, rejected...

I think you'll be able to sort this out.

Try and put it out of your mind and when it pops up tell yourself, I will sort this out in the New Year. This isn't a problem.for now.

The face to face people you've met can advise you and intervene.

It sounds like this is a wrong decision and you have lots of options, an independent advocate, a complaint or appeal, legal action...but start just by chatting to the officers you know.

It does feel horrible but the situation is the same now as it was in any point in the past few years. And you can get this sorted.

Zilla1 · 31/12/2021 13:45

When you feel like you have some distance, OP, it might be an idea to write to them, inform them their representatives have made representations on which you have relied, ask them to reconsider and set out their appeals process and a copy of the current policy, previous policy and their impact assessment made before the policy was changed. Inform them you want to give them the opportunity to resolve this before you seek redress but as you gave up a HA property and have a vulnerable DC, you feel they are acting unreasonably and will have to seek redress.

Good luck.

HelloDulling · 31/12/2021 13:47

I doubt it was held back deliberately. People are currently working from home, with infrequent trips into the office to do things like post letters, so everything is taking longer than it should.

You can speak to them on Wednesday.

Keepitonthedownlow · 31/12/2021 13:48

That's awful OP! What a kick in the teeth, getting bad news at any time is crap and at Xmas and New year everything is heightened. Definitely phone shelter. You must have rights in law!

Stichintime · 31/12/2021 13:51

Old council tenants have the right to pass on their property when they die, which is the right to succession. This is used up if they become joint tenants with someone. If orginal council tenants are taken over by HAs they should have deferred rights, e.g the old rights they had a council tenants.

MakingTheBestOfIt · 31/12/2021 13:55

I can understand why you’re upset, but it won’t be personal. Yes, it might be a bit of a ball ache to get sorted, but all the indications seem to be that they do want you to have permanency of residence. It’s incredibly annoying that their systems are over bureaucratic, impersonal and inefficient (I’m betting the letter was just sat in a pile on someone’s desk waiting to be franked!) but behind that awful system is real people who will want you and your family to be securely housed.

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity FlowersBrewCake

Bluntness100 · 31/12/2021 13:56

Did you start two threads on this?

WonderfulYou · 31/12/2021 13:56

You’ve lived with him for 12 years and you’re not on the tenancy?!

Why is that?

Did you inform the HA as soon as you moved in permanently?

If he died you would have absolutely no rights to the house as obviously you’re not on the tenancy.

As he’s in rented accommodation the landlord gets to decide who lives there and who doesn’t. But unless you living with him means the place is overcrowded then they’ll be be fine. But obviously they have to take it more seriously than just a formality as the tenancy is a contract.

WonderfulYou · 31/12/2021 13:59

It makes sense for you to be added to the tenancy, but you've been living there for 12 years without being on it, so a few more days won't hurt.

I agree, stop worrying about it.

The only issue would be if you didn’t tell them you were moving in and he’s received help with rent or CT.

Forget it for the next week, enjoy New Years and then ring them when they’re back open and ask them what you need to do.

Original poster
Player456 · 31/12/2021 14:00

Ahh thank you all. Due to DB being a joint tenant with his ex before it became a HA, then it means I have rights.

What's frustrating is they never explained this, never gave any reference to succession, just that they are under no obligation to add anyone.

OP posts:
Anammelech · 31/12/2021 14:00

Housing associations are not obliged to a spouse's partner to the tenancy. This can apply to the children in certain circumstances too.

They may acknowledge you as a "rent" payer'; however, it does not mean you will be added to the tenancy. in their eyes, it's his property and not yours.

Anammelech · 31/12/2021 14:04

@Player456

Ahh thank you all. Due to DB being a joint tenant with his ex before it became a HA, then it means I have rights.

What's frustrating is they never explained this, never gave any reference to succession, just that they are under no obligation to add anyone.

The tenancy is in your husband's name, so you would have to prove you've lived and contributed to the household for the last 12 years.

As I mentioned earlier, the housing association in question can refuse to add you to the tenancy.

I would recommend you and your husband have a meeting with the resident liaison officer and discuss the reasons why you were refused tenancy.

CharityDingle · 31/12/2021 14:16

Sending you a hug, OP. It's coming on top of everything else, just now for you.
It's good to cry it out, as you mention bereavement so there are tears there that it might help, to shed.

For now, put that letter out of your mind, and in another few days, as has been suggested upthread, follow it up.