Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Teeth brushing refuser

14 replies

anothersantas · 30/12/2021 17:47

Parenting board is quiet. Just hoping someone can help with this:

DS 18 months is refusing to brush his teeth. I've tried everything - funny YouTube videos, songs, doing it myself so he can copy, turning it into a dance, trying to gently brush his teeth myself, etc etc but he refuses. He says no no and clamps his mouth firmly shut! I can't physically force the tooth brush in.

I'm so worried about his teeth. I managed to put a blob if toothpaste in his mouth with my finger after he drank some milk last night but that was it.

I hope it's just a phase but what if I can't get him to brush? I'm so worried his teeth will rot.

Has anyone had this issue with an 18mo?

OP posts:
Shebangshebong · 30/12/2021 17:59

Rewards. Offer them something they like but they have to brush their teeth twice a day.

Ohyesiam · 30/12/2021 18:01

I had one like this and had to stop all sugar and milk because nothing I did make any difference.
Then one day suddenly it stopped…

ShirleyPhallus · 30/12/2021 18:01

Many babies / toddlers will clamp their mouth shut when something is put in. Wait a minute with it clamped in, he should relax his mouth and try then

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1 year olds Dental health
sandycloud · 30/12/2021 18:02

I used to do teeth in the bath. Can't run away!!!

Woodlandwater · 30/12/2021 18:04

Between 9 months to 2 years we had to swaddle in a towel, pin down and get it done with lots of thrashing about. Then eventually he'd do it in front of the TV and then we moved to watching a YouTube video over the sink on our phones.

AnotherMansCause · 30/12/2021 18:23

You have to just do it. DD was a toothbrush refuser from very early to about 6, & still tries to avoid it, isn't very diligent about brushing etc. When she was very small DH & I started gentle for several months, with songs, demonstrating it, letting her play with the toothbrushes, showing her our teeth & letting her watch us brush, watch videos of other children brushing... we eventually had to resort to holding her down to brush them ourselves. She simply wouldn't do it herself, she would run away, fight, scream, have epic tantrums, basically there was zero chance she would engage with teeth brushing. She did realise after some months that if she just let us brush her teeth, it would be over quickly. We also explained to her when she was old enough, that if we couldn't brush her teeth, there would be no juice, no sweet treats, nothing like that as it was bad for her teeth.

She had to have a filling & an extraction at 7 because she was still refusing to do it herself, it turned out she'd been lying to us about brushing her teeth. We now have regular spot checks, & her pocket money is based solely on whether she's brushed them adequately, i.e. she gets a small amount per day of proper brushing, & if she does a whole week she will get a bit extra. Any days where she has not done a good job, or has obviously lied about it she is docked more than 1 day's worth of money, & loses her weekly bonus. And, we do random checks with disclosing tablets.

She was quite shocked when her DGF showed her what he looked like when he pops his teeth out too. He had to have them all out in his late 50s. DH's teeth aren't shaping up to be much better. I've never had any problems except for wisdom teeth. Teeth are none negotiable. I had the teeth brushing conversation with DD again a couple of nights ago, & have ordered her an electric toothbrush in her favourite colour. She's nearly 10 BTW.

Herald44 · 30/12/2021 18:29

Agree with pps, it's a non negotiable. You have to restrain if necessary. We have one who doesn't like it, it has improved with time but at 18 months we were definitely in a stage of one of us holding arms and hugging tightly while the other one brushed. If they scream the mouth opens eventually for a breath so it is manageable!
Can't work out from your first post of you were expecting him to brush his own. You should be brushing his teeth for him for a while yet. Our dentist recommends up to the age of 7 teeth should be brushed by a parent.

WizbitsLeftEye · 30/12/2021 18:35

The problem is that restraining can cause real trauma and aversion.

Not to mention that if your child is anything like my now-10 year old, it can lead to more thrashing incurring injuries, or bruising from being held firmly.

Which along with a manky toothed child do not go down well with teachers, social services and so on.

Making it fun or a game from very early on, rather than forcing and using violent physical tactics, will help to make it less of a negative thing.

Some people's children might have responded by getting on with it themselves after a while but some of us have children for whom these methods have caused trauma and now the problem is worse.

I try to get mine into the dentist regularly to help.

AnotherMansCause · 30/12/2021 18:36

The disclosing tablets are just to help DD (and us) to see which areas of her teeth she is not getting clean, BTW. We don't ever penalise her if she's missed a bit that shows up with these, if the rest of her teeth are obviously reasonably clean. The point is that we want her to make a good consistent effort, we reward the effort.

AnotherMansCause · 30/12/2021 18:39

Having to have teeth removed at the age of 7 is also quite traumatic though... DD's school are aware she has SEN although we've been waiting for years for a specific diagnosis & help with her needs.

Original poster
anothersantas · 30/12/2021 18:53

Thankfully DS has still never eaten added sugar and has never had juice or anything except water. But of course milk and fruit are full of natural sugars.

Will keep trying but really do not want to traumatise.

OP posts:
LemonDrizzles · 30/12/2021 18:56

Let him brush your teeth for a few nights, then after a week, see if he lets you do his. Has to be about the same time each day, preferably surrounded by the exact same activities

AnotherMansCause · 30/12/2021 21:56

@LemonDrizzles

Let him brush your teeth for a few nights, then after a week, see if he lets you do his. Has to be about the same time each day, preferably surrounded by the exact same activities
Do not do this! I thought this might be a good idea with DD when she was about 2 or 3... she was rather too rough, she jammed the toothbrush directly into my bottom front 2 teeth, loosening them & causing the gums to recede due to trauma/ bruising? They took several weeks to stop wobbling, several months for the pain to stop (and even then it was a couple of years before I could bite something hard like an apple without a twinge), and my dentist told me the gums wouldn't grow back, online sources also indicated that receded or damaged gums are unlikely to grow back. It's been about 7 years & it does appear that the gums have finally recovered, with a lot of very gentle brushing & regular finger massage.
SickAndTiredAgain · 30/12/2021 22:06

With DD she had a little plastic toy farmer that was a favourite at the time, we had a spare toothbrush and she brushed the farmer’s teeth (wiped a wet toothbrush over his face a few times) and she’d let us do hers at the same time/right after.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page