Turning my life around...

[Solodreamer]

I need some advice turning my life around in the new year.

I'm significantly overweight. Never been in a proper relationship. Don't have many people in my life. Nobody to do things with on any regular basis. Live rurally so not many clubs or groups locally. Money an issue at the moment. Health not amazing due to poor diet and weight.

Spend life working, watching TV and walking the dog. It's pretty lonely. Facing yet another new year alone. I know that's not a big deal but it is after so many alone.

Any advice on how to turn my life around. I don't feel comfortable online dating at the moment as I look and feel yuck. Thanks for any advice.

You walk your dog so you already have regular exercise and loving companionship so that’s great You can build on that!

What sort of exercise do you think you could incorporate? You could start even with five minutes a day of stretches - and the more you keep that promise to yourself, the more your confidence will grow.

Drink more water and make sure at least one meal a day is healthy ie fruit/veg and portion controlled.

How about joining an online book club or group of some kind?

You can do this!

Meant to say that I don't want to move and although I could get a housemate my house is fairly small so it feels quite intrusive (I've had lodgers before but it feels wrong at 40 years old).

Thank you. I occasionally swim and go to the gym but should go more.

why wouldn't you be willing to move?
If you moved to a large town or city that could help resolve several of your current listed issues

@Treedown

why wouldn't you be willing to move? If you moved to a large town or city that could help resolve several of your current listed issues

Yes it would Treedown but I've moved around too much and finally love my house. I also can't afford to move and my house wouldn't sell easily as it's a little small for the area.

I can't find any face to face classes to do around work so I've been doing these a couple of days a week at home
m.youtube.com/watch?v=44HquH6QyXc

Thanks

There is a book called 52 Small Changes by Brett Blumenthal. It’s about introducing one small change per week, so drinking more water one week, exercising more the next. I found it quite useful at one time, though not all the “changes” suited me. I need to go back to it, actually!

@DrDiva

There is a book called 52 Small Changes by Brett Blumenthal. It’s about introducing one small change per week, so drinking more water one week, exercising more the next. I found it quite useful at one time, though not all the “changes” suited me. I need to go back to it, actually!

That sounds good.

I would have thought your biggest problem is loneliness. Personally I would swap the perfect house for an imperfect one where I had more change of making friends.

However, your life your choice. In your shoes I would throw myself into everything and anything that goes on where you live. Making friends is pretty much a numbers game. Normally I would say its best to do activities your really enjoy, better chance of meeting someone you get on with, but if there is little choice just do everything. Got a local church - be a bellringer, its good exercise too! Join amdram, walking groups, local exercise classes. Just everything you can.
If you get out and get social it'll be easier to tackle other issues in your life.

I live semi- rurally too and joined the facebook group for the local villages. There was a post from someone who moved to one village and she had been there ' x' amount of time and knew no-one and was lonely.
People replied with groups in the area and invited her along. Worth trying maybe? Do you check the ads in local shops or notice boards to see what is going on in the local area too?

Not sure how old your dog is, but might you be interested in a dog agility class? Would be a good way to exercise whilst meeting some new people. Or, if cost is prohibitive are there any opportunities to volunteer at an animal shelter locally?

I agree with joining some kind of non intimidating local club like the Bell ringers. Maybe see if there is a local dog walker who you could join for a walk. Also you could try to think of some kind of interesting hobby you could do by yourself to add to the mix. Gardening, birdwatching, foraging, crafting, making your own ferments?

Weight wise it sounds like you might be better off aiming to lose weight fairly slowly so you don't have to cut back too much if food is a comfort. Start by making small changes that will add up. Switch to lighter or healthier versions of things you love, add in more veggies and some fruit, find some healthy recipes you could try and add to your meal plan, drink more water and less tea or coffee . Build up your dog walk and go further and or faster, maybe something like a stepcounter would help?

Thanks for all the ideas

Thanks for all your encouragement. I've found a group that starts in a couple of weeks. It's an activity I'm not good at but enjoy doing so it should be a good challenge.

I've also managed to sort a volunteer role for a few hours each week and it can fit in outside working hours.

Strangely the thing I'm proudest of is that I drank half a glass of water when I woke up this morning. I hate water and never drink it. Progress!

Debating whether to go and see the fireworks tonight but it would be solo. It's about half an hour drive to go and see them and then back again but at least it's something to do for new year?

Wow! OP, you work fast! That’s amazing. What a great way to head into 2022. And if you fancy it, get out and watch those fireworks! Well done

Thank you. I've still got the paperwork to fill out for the volunteer role but glad to get the ball rolling. I've seen a friend and family today so feeling a bit more positive.

How are you getting on OP? Did you go to watch the fireworks on NYE? I think this coming Monday is officially ‘most depressing day of the year’ so hope you’re still playing feeling positive about 2022.