How exactly do you go about scattering ashes?

[JohnSmithDrive]

We're going tomorrow. Have permission from the land owner, but what is the actual process?. What do you do and what do you use?

I'm not sure I want to use my hands, a plastic cup or similar doesn't seem right. There's an awful lot of them too.

You can just hold the urn and shake out the contents. Make sure you know what direction the wind is heading though!

Hmm, they're currently in a strong paper bag.

It doesn't feel right to just tip it out and dump him?!

Second the wind suggestion! My grandads ashes ended up mainly on the pier rather than out to sea

You can just tip them out of whatever container you have them in. You don't have to literally scatter them around unless you want to. They will be absorbed into the soil or blown away by the wind in a fairly short space of time.

Also be prepared for the fact that it is not like sand in consistency but grittier.

I was not prepared...

where are you scattering the ashes?
(not trying to intrude-just interested)

I'm echoing the advice to hold and shake the urn here... the last time I scattered ashes was with family members who wanted us all to put our hands in and scatter some each, it does seem to go everywhere and realistically you'll probably feel as though you want to wash your hands and scrub under your nails straight afterwards. I also second the advice to check the direction of the wind, very important!

You can put them in a scatter tube and scatter from that. You may not have time to get one online now (Amazon) but may possibly be able to get one at a funeral directors.

Place them into a nice container, a paper bag doesn't seem appropriate. Let everyone present shake a portion onto the area after someone says a few words about the deceased.

My mum's ashes were given to us in a large cardboard tube. I wasn't prepared for how heavy it'd be! It wasn't so much scattering gently as swinging the tube about and shaking the ashes out. We took hers to a part of the coast that she'd always loved, so the ashes just mingled with the sand and the water. There were 17 of us (children, inlaws and grandchildren) so everyone had a turn, we left the younger children until last so it was much lighter and easier for them.
I would echo what others have said about wind direction.

Just be prepared you'll probably end up with a chunk of them on you, it's not as easy as it sounds.

It doesn't matter how you do it I don't think though.

Put them in a nice scatter tube, I bought a lovely one from the funeral directors for my husbands ashes. They’re not very expensive I paid 25 pounds for his. Easier to scatter and more appropriate

We scattered my dads ashes and didn’t check the wind, ended up with a lot on our shoes and trouser legs 🙈 I said to mum when we got to hers well at least he got a chance to come home even it was on our shoes lol

You can use a scoop of sorts, my Grandfather was a baker so we used a flour scoop!

My mum and dads ashes came in a box each, and then I just tipped them out (under a nice rotting log as it happens, but facing out onto a view they loved) and mixed them together. Then kicked leaf mulch over them. Not very ceremonial, but they would have both liked the going back to the earth thing.
If you have the landowners permission, perhaps take a trowel to dig a very small hole and then anyone who wants to put some ashes in can use the trowel to transfer from the bag

I've done it a few times and just held the container and let it naturally empty. Depends where you are. It's easiest to hold it up or down and either let wind scatter or just walk around holding it down letting it settle. If you're by water then just do the same.

If others are attending if some may want to scatter a bit too, remind them to shake gently to avoid the whole thing coming out at once.

You don't need to actually pick up handfuls and sprinkle around. If you haven't already looked be prepared, it's not a fine dust, it's more like cat litter.. Sorry 😕, at least that's what jumped into my mind.

If the ashes are in a sealed urn or jar type vessel, don't give yourself the stress of trying to separate them. You could wrap a nice bit of fabric round the urn maybe secure onto sides or even just tie round. You could use an item belonging to the person, a scarf belonging to your Gran or jumper belonging to brother etc, makes it feel less strange in a way.

Good luck OP, it's not easy but it does bring a sense of closure knowing you have done this for your loved one.

I'd second the advice to check the wind carefully. I scattered my mother halfway up a Welsh mountain, hopefully very close to where my father was scattered. But it was quite windy and swirling, so the ashes blew about quite a bit, including all over me!

With hindsight I'd also second using a trowel if possible, both to dig a small hole and to transfer the ashes from the bag without tipping it up.

If you're near a funeral director that's open, they might be able to sell you a scatter tube. They're not essential but can help reduce the risk of ashes going everywhere in a sudden gust of wind.

My advice would be to wear gloves as you may get some on your hands. It also means that you can take a handful and scatter if you want to. Leather gloves that can be wiped down are better than wool.

I do lots of committals with ashes and, as people say, they are grittier and heavier, than you might think. The idea of scattering is fraught with difficulty with the wind. Can you think of placing or pouring rather than scattering them? Perhaps by a tree between the roots or under a dry stone wall. If you are in woodland could you take a trowel with you and move some leaves and place the ashes under those and then replace the leaves on top? Gloves are essential.

Sorry for your loss.