*Distressful content* EOL life question to any doctors/nurses

[Footballfrenzy2021]

My DF has a terminal disease & was found in his care home severely dehydrated during the first week of December.
He was immediately admitted to hospital but despite efforts they could not rehydrate him & it was agreed by HCP & us that all treatment was withdrawn.
He hasn’t had any food or fluids since 8th December & is only receiving pain medication.
He tested positive for COVID on Christmas Day.
It so bloody awful seeing him like this (we can visit due to EOL).
His palliative care team review him every 7 days.
I’m sorry to be blunt but we are absolutely horrified that this is how he goes. His mind is still there & he is aware of everything around him.
How long can a person survive like this ? It’s agonising to watch 😢
I’m sorry if this is upsetting but we just don’t want him to suffer anymore

So sorry OP for the loss of your Dad.

We went through the same thing with my Mum several years ago - over Christmas too which makes it worse in some ways (everyone celebrating) and better in others (everyone free to visit - pre Covid).

It helped me to come to terms with the whole situation by realising that death is a process, in a similar way to birth. It takes it's own time. So hard watching and loving, but your Dad knew he had his family caring for him throughout.

Take things gently over the coming weeks.

@Raquel13
You need to start your own thread, not add onto an existing one discussing bereavement. I've reported your post so it can be moved

I've managed to post it in a new thread, but I don't know how to delete it from this thread??? Any advice? Ta.

Sorry for your loss OP and thankyou gor making this thread. Something we are likely to be facing in the near future and very helpful.

@Footballfrenzy2021

Hi all

I’d like to thank everyone as I’ve said before.
As PP EOL isn’t talked about & for me it was an incredibly distressing time. I was completely unprepared & had no idea it was going to be so agonising for us to witness.
I went from being so scared to seeing my Dad appear peaceful.
Dad survived for 23 days (he was a strong, stubborn man !) a feat that seemed unfathomable & cruel to us but I know now that’s how the process works.
He was very subdued for the last few days and finally died last night - the 1 night no one could stay over but I know he chose that.
This thread gave me an understanding that the HCP couldn’t so thank you.
He was ill for a long time but I still feel absolutely heartbroken but relieved he is no longer suffering.
Thanks to all xx

I'm so sorry to read your update. Reading it was like watching a film for the 100th time and still wishing for a different ending. I'm so sorry x