Hate parenting

[itsme1978]

That's it really. I just find it so soul destroying, monotonous and relentless.......I just can't enjoy it and today I couldn't even pretend

Can i ask, have you always felt like this? Or are you just struggling with this age? For instance, some people love babies but not when they grow out of the baby stage.
Parenting can be tough, i'm sure we have all had bad days/times.

@Bettyboop3 yes of course the child is at the centre of all of this - but I'm trying to give a response that will actually support the OP to seek help

I don't really see how that makes me a hypocrite ?

I'm sorry, it just sometimes feels on here that women can't do anything wrong & men can't do anything right 🤷‍♀️
I can't help feeling so sad for the child, no way does he not pick up on it, especially at his age. Believe me it will affect him for life.

@Bettyboop3 so what do you propose I do tomo then? Shall I walk out and leave him or shall I just keep continuing to do my very best at trying to be enjoying myself? This isn't going to be a quick fix is it......?!

[quote itsme1978]@Bettyboop3 if I was a man I'd have left ages ago ........

No amount of meds will make me feel like I want to be a mum but on the days where I can't pretend he has a great day with his dad and is none the wiser. I'm an incredible actress [/quote]
This makes no sense.

Acting is pretending

On the go kids like that can take a lot out of you. I think part of it is that modern parenting keeps kids like that from getting the exercise and stimulation they need. When I was that age we were rarely home in the day, we were all playing out in the neighbourhood. Now it's difficult to replicate that even before covid.

I would prioritize getting him out to burn off energy in some way, hiking or swimming or whatever. It tends to be good for you too in the end though it can seem like a drag.

Why do you say if you were a man you'd have left ages ago? What's rhe difference?

@Bettyboop3 I think we all feel sad about this situation I agree but I don't think your responses are actually going to help that child you feel sad about ... ?

OP do you have review with GP planned ? Could you call them sooner and talk through how you feel

[quote itsme1978]@Bettyboop3 so what do you propose I do tomo then? Shall I walk out and leave him or shall I just keep continuing to do my very best at trying to be enjoying myself? This isn't going to be a quick fix is it......?![/quote]
I got PND after my 3rd and what I'm going to say is not amazing parenting but..... I think you need to ignore your son sometimes..... you say he's always on top of you so send him to play in the living room while you're in the kitchen, for example, doing something. Middle child is a handfull and demanding attention especially since attention has greatly decreased with the baby..... "now mummy can't" "now mummy is cooking and it's dangerous here"....

I have a 6 and 4 yo so we take them out walking in the dark to tire them out. Something different, like an adventure to them. Beats listening to them squabbling in the house.

You're right @Bettyboop3 , he deserves better. I've packed my bags and will leave when they next go out.....this is no life

@itsme1978

Please don’t leave, I’m sorry you’ve reached out for help and haven’t had the most helpful replies.

It will get better, Xmas holidays are hard work-
Everyone is tired, the expectations around Xmas is overwhelming and draining.

Wait a few weeks until he’s back at school, maybe even book him into some wrap around clubs, speak yo your GP and see if you can try different meds

@itsme1978 please don't listen to someone on the internet who doesn't understand what's happening for you at the moment - you don't deserve any judgement, you have posted on here to reach out and that's such a brave step when you're feeling low

Please call someone to talk this through ?

If not your GP then there is pandas postnatal depression helpline

0808 1961 776

pandasfoundation.org.uk/how-we-can-support-you/free-helpline/

Bumping for you

For what it's worth walking out on your child is most definitely the best thing for him either. Nothing stays the same for long, he will grow & change & hopefully so will your feelings. It sounds like you have a supportive partner, make the most of him.

Obvs meant NOT the best thing for him!

@itsme1978 how are you doing today?