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Original poster

How does washing work when you're staying with family?

38 replies

christmascharade · 28/12/2021 23:08

I'm just curious as the ways DP's family and my family approach this are so different, and I'm wondering who's family is the odd one here. (Maybe both of them!)

Say you were staying, as a family with DC, with your parents / the ILs for 2 weeks, how would you wash your clothes and who would do it?

Would you maybe not wash clothes at all, as you bring enough clothes with you and take your washing home? Or put your washing in a house laundry basket and it's all washed together, probably by your mum? Or ask if you can use the machine and do your wash separate from your parents'/ILs washing? Or something else?

And is this a big performance or something that happens quietly in the background?

And how does it work in your house if you have visitors? Is it the same?

OP posts:
beccahamlet · 28/12/2021 23:11

If it's my kids/kids in law they'd just chuck it in the laundry and i'd put it in when convenient. Possibly ask them to hang up when clean or fold up when dry. No big deal.

ShakespearesSisters · 28/12/2021 23:12

I've stayed at MIL for a week before. Happy to chuck stuff in washing basket except my pants/bras. Dh and Dd's all goes in. My sister in law and family come over from Ireland by plane so travel light so always get their washing done.
I've never stayed with friends more than 3 days so would normally just take enough with me.

2020isnotbehaving · 28/12/2021 23:13

I’m staying with family there’s 5 of them so always loads of washing. They more than happy for me to do a wash but it’s more tricky finding places to dry it. As normally least 2 massive clothes airers in the utility that are permanently full and they can take days to dry. Would only wash when staying more than 10 days and would be running out of tops and underwear. On public transport so limit to how much can carry with me.

Would alway do own small wash as I know things would get mixed up and nobody else’s needs see my pants!

Smartiepants79 · 28/12/2021 23:13

At both my parents and pils it would just go in with the house hold washing.
Whoever thought about it first would do it. Might be me/mum/mil etc
We just operate as a larger household.

Kite22 · 28/12/2021 23:20

I can't begin to imagine staying as house guests with someone for more than about 2 days, so I would take it home but, if I needed to, I should imagine (with either my parents or PiLs) it would go {Me} Really sorry to be a pain but would you mind if I did a load of washing either today or tomorrow? {Them} "Don't be silly, of course you can. Well, you're on holiday, give it here and I'll pop a load in now for you"

I remember going to stay with my Aunt once, with a baby who had thrown up in the car , then thrown up again all over me just after I changed her at the roadside.....bless her, my Aunt just said go and have a shower and put my dressing gown on and I'll put all this through the wash and get it dried for you to drive home (we had only been going for the day) Grin

FreeButtonBee · 28/12/2021 23:22

My parents - I have theee kids so we have a kid a day - i do my own and pop in anything in the utility room basket into the washing machine and tumble. Would ask for enough towels to make a load if doing those. I don’t go hunting in Their rooms/en suites for extras to make up a lid though (unless whites cos they are rare enough).

In laws - we only stay two nights at most - Mostly one night so it’s never an issue. If a kid was ill or vomited then I’d ask to use the machine so I wasn’t transporting disgusting laundry but rarely anything else (I did once have an unexpected period disaster over the bedding but I just stuck it on me styled it out. We are not close enough to have that conversation!)

At my house, there is literally always a kid about to go on. If some one was staying for more than 2 nights I’d ask/ suggest they can use the machine. Shorter if here with a small child. Have a washer amd v efficient tumble so no big deal for me.

FreeButtonBee · 28/12/2021 23:23

Kid = load FFS!

Scotlass · 28/12/2021 23:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Babyfg · 28/12/2021 23:47

When we stay with family I just ask to use the machine, or usually they would offer. I wouldn't share washing as I think it's quite intimate and you'd have other people handling your stuff.

Aspidistra1 · 28/12/2021 23:54

I would ask to use the machine and if it wasn’t a full load would ask if there was anything DM/DMIL wanted shoved in with our stuff. DM might say yes, DMIL probably wouldn’t. I would hang it out and Mum/MIL would fold and iron it before I’d noticed/got to it. DF/DFIL would not be involved.

Bloodybridget · 29/12/2021 01:43

Family staying with us, their clothes go in with ours, yes even underwear! The only relative we stay with for more than a couple of days is DP's sister, and again if we need clothes washed they go in with hers.

OnGoldenPond · 29/12/2021 02:03

Staying at DMs house I just put my stuff in the washing machine as and when I need to and fill it up with some of her stuff from her washing basket if there is room. I hang it all up to dry then put her stuff away in her drawers.

We have a standing agreement that I just treat the place as my own when I stay as we are family.

jamandmarmaladethesecondcoming · 29/12/2021 02:14

i would think it's time to go home and use your own machine to wash your own smalls

whattodo2019 · 29/12/2021 02:16

My parents- my mum washes everything constantly and seems to love doing our washing!!

In laws- they never seem to wash their own clothes or shower!!

Hairyfriend · 29/12/2021 02:17

At my own mums house, I often stay longer than 2 weeks as she is abroad. I would do a load with everyones washing in or just our own if it filled a wash.

At PILS, I'd either take enough clothes for the whole visit, or ask to use their washing machine. I'd only do a load of wash if I had enough to warrant using it and wouldnt mix up mine with theirs.

DramaAlpaca · 29/12/2021 02:18

If staying with family I ask when it would be convenient to use the washing machine. If it's at my parents' house I'd be asked to put their stuff in with mine if there was room. No fuss, no drama.

RosesAndHellebores · 29/12/2021 02:19

Hell would freeze over before I'd stay with my mother for more than a night or two and I wouldn't stay at MILs at all.

LostInTheColonies · 29/12/2021 02:51

Chuck it all in together, put on a load with whoever's clothes are there, anyone passing hangs the washing out / brings it in, then try and work out what belongs to who. Could be washing from 8 people ... Family overseas so we go for 3 weeks usually, and they come here for similar.

SleepingStandingUp · 29/12/2021 02:54

Summer hols at single friends, me, DH and three kids so daily washing I just put a load in or put it in front of the washer and she'd put a load in. One of us would put it onto dry / fetch it out etc. We were technically house sitting but we overlapped with her a few days so we were v much treating it like our own

NotSoSkinnyNow · 29/12/2021 03:17

We usually go to stay with my parents for a few weeks at a time (abroad). There's a laundry basket in each bedroom and usually either DM or myself puts a wash on daily, gathering up all relevant stuff from all rooms - lights/darks etc . No fuss, whoever hears the washer beep at the end of its cycle will hang it out, and whoever notices rain will bring it in.
If staying with DAunt, we always feel welcome to use the machines, but don't mix household's laundry. I'll do my own, and she'll do theirs etc. But again , no fuss.

foxgoosefinch · 29/12/2021 03:50

I do washing when staying at my parents - would just put a load of mine/DD’s things on separately. I tend to have delicate darks and wash stuff on delicate / low temp cycles; whereas my mum has more pastel and light clothes, and washes things on short hot washes, so I wouldn’t put them in together anyway.

I’d just go and put a wash on when the machine was free - and ask first if anyone else needs to use it - but it would be no problem, just in the background, no fuss!

When I’m staying with my parents I actually usually wash clothes at the end of the visit so I can take them home washed! Saves me the time when I get home!

user1471481356 · 29/12/2021 03:58

When I have a full loads worth, or just need to wash then I ask if I can use the machine, ask if they need anything thrown in, and then I just get on with it. It’s no big deal. Same at my house. I use you’re welcome to use the machine any time. If I’m doing a load I ask if they need anything thrown in.

autieok · 29/12/2021 05:29

Upto a week take enough to last. If longer I'd put a wash on and I'd take responsibility for it.

Lulu1919 · 29/12/2021 05:46

If We stay with dad and step mum - she'll say ..I'm putting a darks/ whites wash in if anyone has anything then we just chuck it in and she sets it off...whoever finds it done will transfer to dryer and again whoever finds that done will fold and put it in the appropriate bedroom.

TwoShades1 · 29/12/2021 07:38

I generally pack enough so that we don’t really need to wash anything. But we haven’t stayed with family longer than 4 nights and it’s usually only a night or 2, so easy to pack enough. I’ve never stayed with my mum as she lives so close by but I know she would happily do washing if she was putting a load on or be fine if I helped myself to the machine. We do stay with in-laws sometimes and MIL is very funny about washing so as soon as we make any noises about something needing washing she’s rounding up a whole load of colour matching items from the whole household and putting a wash on. She wouldn’t be comfortable with me using her machine, she would rather do it herself.

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