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Original poster

Should I tell DH I don't like the bike he got me?

38 replies

londonagent · 28/12/2021 09:31

I've been after a new bike for while but also know what I want & realistic about budget so have been looking online for 2nd hand. Not found one my size yet but knew it could take a while looking for a specific type & in my size. I put 'Hybrid Bike' on my Xmas list (optimistic/unrealistic but it is a wish list!) but had discussed with DH that I'd really like a certain type - Trek Domane for those that cycle so decent but not OTT and possible 2nd hand within our budget.

About 6 weeks ago I nearly bought a really cheap ( £35) ladies step-through hybrid from someone in my village as I was struggling without a bike but DH told me not to waste my money and he'd find me one.

So he did get me a bike but it's basically much the same (but an even shittier brand) as the cheap one he told me not to buy SadIt's also a step-through which I don't like but I can't really moan about that as he wasn't to know. He went quite a long way for it and I'm guessing overpaid possibly panicked last minute as he only picked it up on Thursday. I'm really bloody disappointed and don't know if I should tell him, or suck it up and try not to weep every time I ride it Sad

WWYD - ask why he bought this one when I'd specifically said another type or don't be ungrateful and keep quiet? Clearly he can't take it back and I do really need a bike but I'm quite sad about it as I've been looking forward to a bike upgrade for bloody ages.

OP posts:
Heruka · 28/12/2021 09:33

I’d explain, sell it on and buy one you like. Too sad to be upset every time you use it!!

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 28/12/2021 09:34

Tell him and sell it.

SwanShaped · 28/12/2021 09:35

Tell him you’ve ridden it a bit but it doesn’t fit your dimensions. Then sell it. A well fitting bike is soooo important. Otherwise you’ll hate every time you ride it.

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Original poster
londonagent · 28/12/2021 09:35

So far I've only seen a picture as I've been indoors with covid but going to get/ride it today which is when I'll either need to be enthusiastic & grateful or brutally honest Confused

OP posts:
BeLessMe · 28/12/2021 09:36

If he bought it from someone in your village how did he go a long way for it?

Tough one. I’m usually very honest and would happily tell DH something isn’t to my taste and ask for the receipt to take something back but, as that isn’t an option-and you do actually need a bike-could you just ride it for a bit and keep an eye out for the one you want. If, as you say, it takes a while to find one you would have given your Christmas bike a good go then you can tell DH it’s not great performance wise so you are getting another one.

goingtotown · 28/12/2021 09:38

Why can't he return it. Was it second hand?

Original poster
londonagent · 28/12/2021 09:39

@BeLessMe

If he bought it from someone in your village how did he go a long way for it?

Tough one. I’m usually very honest and would happily tell DH something isn’t to my taste and ask for the receipt to take something back but, as that isn’t an option-and you do actually need a bike-could you just ride it for a bit and keep an eye out for the one you want. If, as you say, it takes a while to find one you would have given your Christmas bike a good go then you can tell DH it’s not great performance wise so you are getting another one.

No it was me that nearly bought one from our village, he went further afield. The annoying thing is I've been without a bike for nearly 2 months and if all I wanted was a cheap run around I could have bought one ages ago!!
OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 28/12/2021 09:40

Why should you be grateful for something you told him clearly that you didn't want? He should fucking listen to you.

SwanShaped · 28/12/2021 09:41

Maybe he was planning on getting you a better one but left it too late. You can’t have a bike you don’t like tho. Most other presents I would just say to suck it up and pretend. But not a bike.

Original poster
londonagent · 28/12/2021 09:44

@Aquamarine1029

Why should you be grateful for something you told him clearly that you didn't want? He should fucking listen to you.
This is kind of my thinking too - I bought him some expensive trainers he wanted and it's no different to me deciding to buy a pair from Asda instead because they look similar - you just wouldn't!!! I'm going to have to tell him aren't I SadConfused
OP posts:
CSJobseeker · 28/12/2021 09:49

@Aquamarine1029

Why should you be grateful for something you told him clearly that you didn't want? He should fucking listen to you.
I agree with this.

Be honest with him. You want a decent bike, and this isn't it.

boomboomboom123 · 28/12/2021 09:49

Personally I would ride it today and then feed back that unfortunately it's not right and you will have to sell it.

sofakingcool · 28/12/2021 09:52

I'd say something about it not fitting/being quite right like someone said up the thread

Elieza · 28/12/2021 09:53

I’d have a convo with him about I’m grateful for the bike but as you know I’m worried about how it will be fit me, ie what happens if it’s too heavy or uncomfortable, can we exchange if needs be?

And see what he says.

You’d hate to find out later that had you not ridden it, you could have had a full refund to spend on the one you really want. Meanwhile because you rode it they won’t take it back as now it’s second hand.

Original poster
londonagent · 28/12/2021 09:55

@Elieza

I’d have a convo with him about I’m grateful for the bike but as you know I’m worried about how it will be fit me, ie what happens if it’s too heavy or uncomfortable, can we exchange if needs be?

And see what he says.

You’d hate to find out later that had you not ridden it, you could have had a full refund to spend on the one you really want. Meanwhile because you rode it they won’t take it back as now it’s second hand.

he bought it on eBay so no sending it back. It will be selling it and finding one I actually want
OP posts:
TonTonMacoute · 28/12/2021 09:57

Unless you fall in love with it when you give it a try just take a deep breath, tell him you don't like it, and somehow arrange to change it for what you want.

I think if you're not going to get what someone has specifically asked for then don't bother. DH and I send each other web links,if it's a bit spenny then it does for Christmas and birthday.

Ohpulltheotherone · 28/12/2021 09:58

Yeah I’d be telling him.
If you want to save his blushes then you could take it for a ride today and then later tonight say something like “I’m not sure about the bike actually, it doesn’t really ride well or the way I wanted it to… would you be offended if I looked at trading / selling on and putting towards a different type”

Then if he huffs and puffs You can be blunt and say that he didn’t follow your preferred spec in any way, shape or form and that you were being diplomatic and actually it’s him who’s been a twat

Doorawakens · 28/12/2021 10:01

There is a big jump from a £35 bike to a £1k Trek - even if you go second hand (but even then higher end 2nd hand bikes are not going cheap atm). I fear you will be waiting a long time.

Is there another option - i got a £600 new Marin for example, or go for a Halfords type mid priced £200 hybrid second hand if you can find one.

AnotherEmma · 28/12/2021 10:03

I find it weird that you wouldn't be honest with each other about stuff like this. When you've been in a relationship for years, there are so many birthdays and Christmases, and it just seems increasingly pointless to buy each other gifts that the other person doesn't like, want or need. DH and I will be polite/tactful but honest with each other if our gifts are not quite right.

(Come to think of it I got DH a gift that he's barely used and I would have preferred him to tell me he didn't like/want it so I could return it.)

I do think it was a bit silly of you to ask him for a bike when you clearly wanted to choose it. I think you should have specified exactly what you wanted or not asked for a bike at all.

Anyway. Just be honest with him and sell it.

AnotherEmma · 28/12/2021 10:04

PS does your employer offer a cycle to work scheme? That can be a very cost effective way of getting a bike

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 28/12/2021 10:05

“ah perfect, it’ll get me by until I get the Trek that I really want”.

ElectraBlue · 28/12/2021 10:08

A bit ungrateful don't you think? you haven't even seen it in real life or tried it...

Give it a go first and if it really does not fit your needs you can always sell it on.

Telling him you don't like it now will just hurt his feelings and make you sound spoilt.

Aquamarine1029 · 28/12/2021 10:14

Telling him you don't like it now will just hurt his feelings and make you sound spoilt.

She told him she didn't like it before he bought it. He should have listened to her. But, of course, she should be ever so grateful for something she told him she didn't want. 🙄

Seadragonusgiganticusmaximus · 28/12/2021 10:14

You put “Hybrid bike” on your Christmas list but you say you want a Trek Domane - isn’t that a road bike? I’m confused so perhaps your husband was too.

Tell him. Life too short for the wrong bike.

ArblemarzipanTFruitcake · 28/12/2021 10:14

Is there no possibility it will do/be better than nothing until you get the more expensive second hand one you've been trying to source?