So low

[Choices01]

Hi all,
Not sure what I’m looking to get out of posting but just need write things down.

I feel like I hate my life. I’m married and childfree. I stupidly had a previous abortion as felt like it was a terrible mistake. Now my life just feels empty and quiet. I feel so very sad a lot of the time. I’ve no idea what to do. I’m trying my best to eat well, sleep and exercise but it all just seems pointless.

I do wonder if it’s hormonal as some weeks I actually feel totally fine. It’s just reared it’s ugly head again though.

My husband feels the same. It’s all just so miserable.

Sorry to bring the Christmas mood down but I just need a vent.

Sorry you feel like that. Do you want to talk more about it? Offering a hand x

Oh! Yes please. Just you saying that is so nice. There is no real solution but it’s good to talk.

This time of year can be really tricky for people. Did you want to have children? Have you spoken to your GP. I’m sorry you are feeling this way but great you are talking about it.

I always thought I did but when I got pregnant I completely lost my mind. Felt like I’d made a terrible mistake and looked at only the negatives. I’m so ashamed to say that I did what I did. It blows my mind that I terminated. I’m pro choice but oh my goodness. Now I realise the feelings I had are quite normal. Lots of women freak out about pregnancy. It’s not all joy!

Haven’t spoken to my GP. Receive weekly counselling though. This is private. It’s good but sometimes my feelings just become overwhelming.

I understand. I can imagine you are carrying guilt from the termination even though you thought it was the right decision for you at the time. Has your counsellor given any advice for how to deal with the overwhelming feelings?

I really did believe it was the right decision at the time. Now there is a grey cloud over me. I wish I could be one of those women who had a termination and never glance back.
My counsellor isn’t really doing that, we are discussing all aspects of my life.