DH died in the summer and I've been busy putting on a brave face and carrying on as much as possible, alongside several compete meltdowns.
I have a group of friends who've been amazing. Kept in touch when I didn't want to see anyone and didn't let it go too long before I did get out.
The last 36 hours have been awful. Christmas was always going to be hard, but I've had a flat tyre on the car, a blocked toilet to deal with, dropped my phone down the loo, the doorbell stopped working, the bath's started leaking. Stupid little things, but a lot of things I'd have handed to DH to sort out. Then DS changed his plans so he was going to GF's house when I thought he was spending all day at home. Ridiculous, I'm pleased he's happy but also feeling abandoned and it was the final straw for me. I feel completely emotionally battered.
I'm quite pleased with myself in that I've replaced the doorbell, sorted the tyre myself, dealt with the loo, set up a spare phone, remastiked the bath, nothing too challenging I realise, but not things I've had to deal with before. Ds won't be home until tomorrow.
Anyway one of the friends has invited me round to play games and drink beer tonight. Therell be a small group of people I know well and like very much. Normally I'd jump at the chance, my way of getting through has been to say yes to each and every invitation. Today I just want to crawl into a hole...