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Persuade me to go out tonight

10 replies

JohnSmithDrive · 26/12/2021 13:51

DH died in the summer and I've been busy putting on a brave face and carrying on as much as possible, alongside several compete meltdowns.

I have a group of friends who've been amazing. Kept in touch when I didn't want to see anyone and didn't let it go too long before I did get out.

The last 36 hours have been awful. Christmas was always going to be hard, but I've had a flat tyre on the car, a blocked toilet to deal with, dropped my phone down the loo, the doorbell stopped working, the bath's started leaking. Stupid little things, but a lot of things I'd have handed to DH to sort out. Then DS changed his plans so he was going to GF's house when I thought he was spending all day at home. Ridiculous, I'm pleased he's happy but also feeling abandoned and it was the final straw for me. I feel completely emotionally battered.

I'm quite pleased with myself in that I've replaced the doorbell, sorted the tyre myself, dealt with the loo, set up a spare phone, remastiked the bath, nothing too challenging I realise, but not things I've had to deal with before. Ds won't be home until tomorrow.

Anyway one of the friends has invited me round to play games and drink beer tonight. Therell be a small group of people I know well and like very much. Normally I'd jump at the chance, my way of getting through has been to say yes to each and every invitation. Today I just want to crawl into a hole...

OP posts:
Shuffleuplove · 26/12/2021 13:54

Oh sweetheart! That sounds so hard! What about wearing your most comfy clothes, and saying that you’ll go for one hour. And if you want to stay longer then you can, but you’ll also have shown your face and got out.

And then have something nice prepped for when you get back - PJ’s on the radiator, electric blanket, nice wine and snacks, that sort of thing.

Sending you a big seasonal squeeze.

SmallGreenStripes · 26/12/2021 13:54

You have done amazingly. Huge hug to you.
Go. But perhaps share how you’re feeling. Allow your lovely friends to support you.

GoGoGretaDoll · 26/12/2021 13:55

Go for a nap.

Jump in the shower.

Go out.

Change the energy/change the story. You'll feel SO much better just for the change of scene and other people to talk to - you'll end up telling your DIY Christmas superhero story and laughing about it.

GO!

SillyLittleBiscuit · 26/12/2021 13:56

Oh, that sounds so tough. I think you’re quite within your rights to feel sorry for yourself and if you want an evening to recharge that’s ok but if you think company will be nice you could pop in and leave after an hour if it gets too much.

I hope your evening goes ok whatever you decide.

JohnSmithDrive · 26/12/2021 14:43

Oh, they've added curry into the mix and someone's offered to pick me up.....Smile

OP posts:
CagneyNYPD1 · 26/12/2021 14:49

Go. These sound like good friends who want to be there to support you. Let them. Even if it is just for a couple of hours and to save you cooking for yourself.

Have a quick shower, sort your hair. No need to dress up. Have your pjs ready for when you get back. But do go. I bet you will look back on this in a few weeks time as a really nice evening.

MintyGreenDream · 26/12/2021 14:51

Go and enjoy your friends and the curry!

LynnInAVan · 26/12/2021 14:52

I reckon @Shuffleuplove has the best plan. Tell yourself an hour then review

MoiraNotRuby · 26/12/2021 14:56

I'm sorry for your loss. You have done AMAZINGLY. Give yourself an evening off from being amazing. Let your friends taxi you about and provide food. You don't even have to make conversation, there are other people there who can do that. And if you hate it, go back home. No harm done.

teenagetantrums · 26/12/2021 15:55

Go..have fun. When you arrive explain you not feeling the best a d might leave early. I bet you will have fun

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