The Abbey Vs Oxford High Vs St Helen St Katherine

[Tiyasmom]

Looking for some help as DD has prospect at The Abbey Reading, Oxford High and St Helen and St Katherine all with scholarship which adds to motivation (rather than money). We are completely torn and we would request some feedback if anyone ever came to this sort of dilemma before. Abbey will be local to us while both Oxford High and SHSK will need us move which we are ready to do, for our DD. Thank you so much for your support and help

Which did your DD prefer on open days? That’s the first consideration.

She found all three more or less equally interesting, no specific shout out. Hence the dilemma as parents !

You might get more responses if you report your post and ask for this to be moved to the education board. Also, I think your name change failed.

Thank you, I am not used to this platform at all - opened it 11yrs back when I was pregnant and for the very first time using for specific information.

I went to Oxford High in the nineties. It was quite nice; good education, not amazing. I got great GCSE results, but I was great at taking exams, as evidenced by the fact I was selected for the school by taking exams. The main negative was that it was quite high-pressure. A lot of pupils had anorexia or self-harmed. I should think that's improved loads since the 90s - people are far more aware of mental health nowadays.

Apart from Oxford High I went to a local state primary and a local state sixth form college (I didn't live in Oxford). The teaching I received at my state schools was just as good as the private. In the case of the local college, it was way better. But the state schools didn't have the option of refusing to take harder pupils, so classes were disrupted more often, (but I don't remember them being disrupted loads, although you would expect that for primary and sixth form). The pupils were a lot happier and easier going socially.

My experience is just mine, and it's very dated, but I personally think Oxford High is nice but not good enough to warrant moving house for. I think you should stick with the local one.

Also, given your DD is obviously very bright, to get those scholarship offers. She'll probably get those straight As and a prestigious university offer by attending any half decent school. So try and optimise for her happiness, rather than her education.

I went to St. Helens in the 90s are absolutely loathed it. I am still local and meet lots of people who went there and hear only awful things about how unhappy they were, the pastoral care was awful, they knew loads of girls with eating disorders and girls who self harmed. It was ages ago but I don't think a school's ethos really changes. I would never ever send a daughter there.

My daughter went to Shsk and left five years ago. She loved it. Did very well academically and did loads of activities. Still sees her friends from there.

Thank you all for your honest feedback

I went to the abbey in the 90s. It was flipping bonkers, but in a posh school way. All our education was academic and the other girls were all loaded and entitled.

It did exactly what is said on the tin.

I am perfectly normal and well rounded now, with a shed load of confidence and academic achievements to boot.

I had several friends at The High. Lots of eating disorders and high pressure. Sadly I don't think it has improved much on those grounds. Lots of transboys as well.

One things is clear, we are looking at a school that will motivate and challenge, as my DD thrives under pressure and she felt Abbey was taking it too easy - at least now. DD is sharp, not in just academia but drama, arts and dance - not very much into sports. We are leaning more to SHSK for now, but it may prove a stupid move considering we have Abbey pretty local.

Just chipping in here to say that it's worth bearing in mind that the Abbey has a headmaster now , which is a relatively recent development in its history, so any opinions from people who know it from previous "generations" are likely not to reflect the school it is today.

From what you've said about your daughter, I'd have said the Abbey sounds like a good fit. They have a great drama and art department, and the pressure is definitely on academically. There's a lot of individual support for uni applications too. V.surprised about the opinion that Abbey takes things easily - that doesn't sound at all like the Abbey I know

You haven't specified how old your DD is now, but there's nothing to stop you/her starting at one school and changing if it doesn't suit. Take another look for GCESs, and sixth form - whether that's A Levels or Baccalaureate, and which subjects she is most interested in will change which school is most suitable for her.

Trying to trust data, looking at A level and Oxford High appears to lead on STEM which is where my kid has interest in

My daughter has been at the Abbey for a couple of years and we have been so impressed. We had the choice of SHSK, QAS and The Abbey, and it was our first choice.

The pastoral side of the school is amazing, and they have a very strong ethos of happy girls = good results. Also, the choice of doing the IB or A-Levels in 6th form is great too.

Very mixed and diverse, supportive of independence and encouraging the girls to think for themselves.

The new head is slowly introducing things and it's all very positive.

@Tiyasmom feel free to message me if you want to ask anything else .

It's about time we have to sign contract accepting a place. OHS is brilliant, results are super but travelling by join bus that supports too many school means longer hours for travel, besides, no late school bus so continual dependency on child minder to pay to bring her back on days she goes for after school clubs (and knowing my daughter, she will do extra curricular with as much interest in academics). On the other hand, SHSK, decent results, not as good as OHS for certain, but oodles of positive regarding their facility, bus service with standard and late bus, accessibility from Henley where we are close to. Has anyone else had this dilemma?

Is it actually the option of a late bus at SHSK or just the option to use the boys school bus, which (when I used it 15 years ago) had bullying hazing style between younger and older boys, and the bus driver often used to stop the bus until anti social behaviour stopped or if the boys said something racist or offensive another way.

I went to SHSK for sixth form on full bursary, I had a fantastic education from those two years and the teachers really supported me and I went onto a top university. I would have gone to Didcot Girls School otherwise. There was really caustic dynamic between pupils who had been there years, someone proposed a “chav” dress up day which was stopped by the school - it is a posh people’s school and I would not send my daughter there for the long haul, I would worry about her mental health. I was very academic and was doing maths and sciences, I did not fit in with people who had the all the extra curriculars such as music and choir, big lacrosse culture. There was a toxic culture of being the best or looked down on if you didn’t fit in, and I know of several people who then went to drop out of first year of uni. I don’t know if that’s the school or just reflects the families who choose to pay for that sort of school. I turned out ok and successful, and I have very fond memories of my education and extra curriculars at SHSK, but I haven’t stayed in touch with people long term from my time at school there, they also have an excellent alumni network who I’ve met contacts through now. It really had fantastic provision but the self esteem of people there was low and came out in behaviours.

I can see lot of different thoughts going in here but this is recent year and every single mum I spoke to, without even knowing them personally that send their kids to either OHS or SHSK seem very happy, and proud. We are moving from private to private and my daughter won't survive without piano, drama, ballet, jazz, tap that she proficiently does over no of years most with distinctions, while being top of cohort academically. The nature she has can fit the bill in any school that is what is leading to most of our dilemma.

Sounds like SHSK would be ideal then. Also the food was amazing!

I should have added, my DD has academic scholarship offered across all three schools. So I do need a school that will nurture her ability more, and support. she also has art and drama scholarship offered, one each, in OHS and in Abbey