Anyone struggle with the mess?

[MonicaGellerBing]

I'm pretty sure I have some sort of OCD (undiagnosed) I become so stressed with mess and chaos, when I become overwhelmed I retreat to my bedroom which is my 'safe zone' from the kids' mess.

Now I know it's Christmas morning and of course there should be toys and mess and rubbish everywhere but I'm finding it so hard, I'm just sat on the sofa completely overwhelmed and can't think where everything is going to go, there's so many cardboard boxes. I know I need to get a grip. Anyone else?

Get a plastic bag and get the paper in there and cardboard neatly tucked away ans you won't feel so overwhelming

When we're opening, we put a black plastic bag in the middle of the room and we bin as we go. No biggie.

I grew up in Avery chaotic house,F wouldn't allow anything to be put away or touched.DM was a mouse, wouldn't let friends around because of the mess. I was determined my DKs would not be embarrassed to have friends round. We downsized to an open plan bungalow, you can't hide mess.

How old are your DC? Unless they are babies I reckon you could announce a 5 minute tidy before any more presents are opened. Then put on a timer and get them to put all the paper in a bin bag. An older child could squash the boxes flat and put them neatly by the door.

Might be worth accessing some talking therapy/CBT via your GP or local health trust too after Christmas is over. It must be horrible to feel like this. You can self refer online lots of the time if you search ‘nhs talking therapy (area you live in)’ and the wait isn’t too bad.

This was me every Christmas when the DC were little.
I had to stop myself continually tidying and wanting to put each piece of wrapping paper in the bin as they went along.
And I’d want the presents put away in their rooms asap.
I often hoovered as soon as present opening was done.

Yea it does my head in too but I try my best to put some stuff upstairs, to squash and bin any packaging and to ignore the rest. I'm in the living room at the moment because I can't even get in the dining room due to the Lego.

All the wrapping paper is tidied and all the boxes. My kids are 5 and 9 so optimum age for maximum mess haha! I'm sitting on the sofa with galaxy truffles wondering when I can open wine...

We made a game of throwing the crumpled up paper into a bag as we went along. Before that my dad would be running round cleaning up as we went which was a bit of a fun sucker

I just had a large stand-up gift bag which sat in the middle of the room. As each person opened their gift they'd throw the paper into the bag. So there was never any rubbish . I would think that at5 and 9 they'd be fine to put their own rubbish into a bag. No need to get stressed about it, enjoy your day.

Yes yes yes. I am also not feeling well. And all I want to do is tidy up. Also decided that the sofa and tv would look better switched the other way round in the kitchen. So would like to be doing that.
I don’t really do sitting down and I’m sat here watching tv and would rather be doing something else.
Had my Xmas decorations up since the middle of November for a huge party ( everyone said yes put the tree up that will look lovely ). Now I just want them down and would be happy to do that today as well. 😂

I have severe ocd and years past have pulled the tree and decks down on Boxing Day morning...many years haven't decorated at all because I couldn't deal with it all...I am 50 now and would give anything to go back to my children young again and try to do things differently

Oh yes, I totally understand.

Mess and clutter makes me uncomfortable at the best of times, so I know over Christmas I have to spend a bit of time hiding from it. I also d see pend far too long cleaning up and tidying up.

I get told to “leave it and relax” but the two things are mutually exclusive

I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping it tidy as long as you're not letting it stress you out. You can still keep order and keep it laid back too.
We're at DM's but I've done a couple of tidy ups. We put wrapping away as soon as DC opened their presents and I've gone round and put away some little bits from their stockings that they're not likely to play with, so they don't get lost.

The rubbish has been cleared but every single toy is out and all over the living room, literally can't see my rug. My 9 year old has put his stuff in his room. I'll just wait till 5yo is in bed as she keeps pulling one thing out leaving it and pulling something else out! Currently hiding in the toilet where it's tidy lol.

Yea I'm the same as @foreverandalways, want my tree and decs down Boxing Day but the kids have asked to leave them up a bit longer so I will but it's making my eye twitch 🤣

Op you missed the point of @foreverandalways’s post. Don’t let your need to be tidy take away from time spent enjoying your children. If it’s that bad, you need therapy. They will know how you are feeling and likely remember it.

No, I don’t feel like this. It if I do feel like tidying up, I hide it. It’s one day… it’s a day for my children and I’m going to let them make a mess, get all their toys out and let it happen. I don’t want them growing up thinking mum couldn’t let them just relax for one day

I’m impressed you’re trying to strike a balance between your needs and your children’s enjoyment.
Tidying as you go seems a good idea, but I know so many people who have bad memories of childhood Christmases because of restrictive, stressed parents who made it a season of snappiness, stress and disappointment.
Mine used to put the tree up on Christmas Eve and spend the day in silent rage about things not being right. Followed by Christmas Day lunch with a mother who hated cooking at any time.

@foreverandalways

I have severe ocd and years past have pulled the tree and decks down on Boxing Day morning...many years haven't decorated at all because I couldn't deal with it all...I am 50 now and would give anything to go back to my children young again and try to do things differently

How do they feel about Christmases now? Do they celebrate it differently to how it was done in their childhood?

The mess is of the adult's making. There is no need to wrap things and you can unbox stuff before hand.

I hide it well from my kids I think, I don't go round tidying behind them or saying they can't play, I keep it all inside. DH and I have just tidied round and brought the remaining stuff to their rooms and they are both playing happily while the bath runs so they can change into more Christmas PJ's. I understand I need to look at CBT but I don't ever let my kids know how stressed I am about it all.

@madisonbridges

When we're opening, we put a black plastic bag in the middle of the room and we bin as we go. No biggie.

We do the same.

This is why Boxing Day is the best. Leftovers means less kitchen mess, the living room is somewhat tidy and the kids should still be happy playing with their new toys.

I get it. I'm autistic and I've always struggled with the mess and clutter, plus the decorations changing everything. I managed to hide it from the kids mostly. Now, my eldest son and my daughter put the tree up when I'm out, and it'll be taken down on Wednesday, the day after I get home.

I've tried my best to keep out of the way whilst dinner was cooking and to not focus on the mess when the dc were unwrapping all of their gifts (I sat with them and ooh-ed and ahh-ed in all the right places and opened mine at the same time) but I've made several million trips to the bin and then cleaned and tidied the kitchen as soon as my stomach allowed me to. Now everywhere is tidy (as much as it can be in our house) and I can chill out with my chocolates!

I hope you've been able to relax and enjoy the day OP.

Oh op you're my soul mate. I spent Christmas day in a state of anxiety internally over the chaos and mess of it. Much prefer boxing day tbh, when there's no wrapping and packaging to tidy up, so much more relaxing.