If you had life coaching was it worth it

AtlasPine · 24/12/2021 14:31

I had life coaching to support me to make a decision about retirement. It was very useful. You do have to be involved actively.

Luredbyapomegranate · 25/12/2021 00:56

If you are active about it it’s very useful. But whatever you do - have consultations with at least 3 people - you need someone you click with, but who will also challenge you, and someone with good experience (ask to speak to a couple of past clients). Life coaching can be really good but it’s not very regulated so you need to use due diligence.

Be careful also that you don’t really want therapy - or a sympathetic ear. Life coaches are neither of those things.

BluebellsGreenbells · 25/12/2021 01:01

I met a life coach recently on a trip, she also has a life coach … not sure if I believe in them now!

PersonaNonGarter · 25/12/2021 01:04

I found it brilliant - I needed help being myself at work and not taking on responsibility for stuff that wasn’t mine to deal with. The life coach was perfect. I had three sessions and it was great to talk just about my work and my career. Recommend.

AndWhatNext · 25/12/2021 01:11

I had one, specially for work. I've had counselling off and on for years so was very open and understanding that I needed to put on the work.
She helped me work out what I wanted from work, some exercises that help. It. Was great. I pushed for a promotion and got it. Financially it paid for itself on under a month of promotion. But my self esteem and understanding of my true work self has been invaluable.
Any kind of coaching or therapy is amazing so long as you put the work in. You need to be ready and receptive to it.

Hawkins001 · 25/12/2021 01:19

@MistySkiesAfterRain

I had a free meeting with a life coach and am trying to decide whether to do it. Its basically all my funsies budget each month for three months. My issue is home life and separating it from work as its all got too blurred. I feel exhausted tbh and Xmas is going to be so busy, but I could carve out some time to make a plan and set some goals.

I think I know what the main problems are - confidence (but this will improve the more I work at everything, just got into a rut), making sure I have a time each week to regroup and plan ahead or it all blurs into a panic, and just generally holding myself accountable.

The only one of those that is a struggle is having someone to share my achievements with. Its a lot of money to pay for it and I almost think I'd be better booking extra sessions with my massage therapist who is almost like therapy! I could also join one of those here are my goals and lets hold each other accountable threads that crop up on mumsnet in the new year as well. I tried having a friend accountability buddy but its better in a group as there is usually someone who responds.

To be honest with Google and self help books, these days it's easier to get most of the same information that the coach would give you.

IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls · 25/12/2021 01:33

Its utter drivel ... barely any of it is evidence based and is aimed at middle class women who can find the money to waste on it .

Ozgirl75 · 25/12/2021 03:58

My friend’s husband went to a life coach when he was having a bit of a mid life crisis.

She coached him out of his marriage and into her knickers, so just make sure you get a bit more of a reputable one than that.

BadLad · 25/12/2021 05:30

@Ozgirl75

My friend’s husband went to a life coach when he was having a bit of a mid life crisis.

She coached him out of his marriage and into her knickers, so just make sure you get a bit more of a reputable one than that.

I feel slightly guilty that the way you put that made me laugh out loud.

TheDaydreamBelievers · 25/12/2021 06:33

The problem is life coaching has no evidence base and is completely unregulated. So, some people have met useful life coaches but that's more chance than anything

SpikeDearheart · 25/12/2021 06:39

I had coaching at work when I returned from maternity leave. I ended up thinking of it like exercise - not necessarily fun at the time but if you put the effort in you see results.

HacerSonarSusPasos · 25/12/2021 06:51

@TheDaydreamBelievers

The problem is life coaching has no evidence base and is completely unregulated. So, some people have met useful life coaches but that's more chance than anything

Totally this! You don't need any credentials to call yourself a life coach. Any charismatic crook can do it. I'm sure it turns out well for some clients, but it's just not something I would invest in.

Why don't you try therapy instead?

Lesina · 25/12/2021 08:22

@Ozgirl75

My friend’s husband went to a life coach when he was having a bit of a mid life crisis.

She coached him out of his marriage and into her knickers, so just make sure you get a bit more of a reputable one than that.

It’s wrong… but I laughed at this

Ozgirl75 · 25/12/2021 08:29

Sadly it’s true!

Snailhaterz2 · 25/12/2021 08:35

I had a life coach at one point, who I used almost entirely for work-related issues, and she was brilliant - she supported me to think more clearly about my career after I'd had a really bad experience in a job. The confidence she helped me regain put me in a really good place and I stormed a subsequent interview and got a really good job. I'd reiterate that you really need to click - mine was a woman who specialised in some of the issues that women have in the workplace.

SquigglePigs · 25/12/2021 08:50

I did earlier this year. Three months of weekly calls. It's really helped me. In some ways she didn't tell me much I didn't already know but each week we worked on and reviewed my goals. We talked about the things I found easy and hard in terms of achieving those goals, tweaked plans where needed and talked through what my head was telling me that was getting in my way.

I was really struggling to see a way out of the hole my head was in earlier in the year and now I'm in a much better place and my head is in gear for the next phase of changes I want to make in the new year.

I agree about needing to connect with the person you're working with. I was lucky and really liked the first person I talked to - she has a corporate background so understands the pressure of my work and does some health and lifestyle coaching with the NHS as well as private so she was able to be supportive across a number of issues I wanted to look at.

It wasn't cheap but I feel like it was worth it. I'm hoping to maintain a once a month chat or similar next year to keep on track.

MoveHouse · 25/12/2021 09:46

Financially it paid for itself on under a month of promotion. But my self esteem and understanding of my true work self has been invaluable. Any kind of coaching or therapy is amazing so long as you put the work in.

Exactly how @AndWhatNext has put it.

Confidence building is great through a life coach. They get to know you and call you out for things you do / say / act etc that are likely to be learnt behaviours that hold you back from being your authentic self.

As others have said, do your research. There are plenty of “non qualified” coaches out there. Find one relevant to your needs (eg, I found someone who specifically worked for senior leaders, in the industry I worked in) and check their credentials, references (previous clients feedback). Additionally, don’t take their first quote. If they want you, their prices will be dropped (i had one taster session, we talked money at the end, she told me her cost, I told her it was above budget, she dropped and offered for me to pay monthly over 12 weeks)

Its utter drivel ... barely any of it is evidence based and is aimed at middle class women who can find the money to waste on it

In your experience? Have you had regular sessions with a life or business coach? I’m a professional senior manager but came from a very working class background, growing up with less than two pennies to rub together. Having a coach has helped me immensely with imposter syndrome, self doubt and my own perception of what others think of me in my own friendship circle and in work. Coaching has helped in both my professional and personal life. I’ve now had a payrise, got improved working relationships, enhanced credibility in the workplace, work life balance, no guilt at home, clear boundaries, improved communication with my husband on my needs… I could go on about the benefits. No book, podcast, Ted talk could have given me those things. Ultimately, I have got them myself but I’ve had a steer from someone, a professional, to help me and give me the safe space to share my fears, concerns, situations to gain an impartial view.

GoGoGretaDoll · 25/12/2021 09:55

A good coach is priceless but they need to be good. Coaching these days has become the new MLM, coaches have coaches and it's all about coaching more and more coaches to make more and more money, with the same dollar going round and round and round. Vile.

BUT there are proper, accredited coaches out there. You need to do your homework:

speak to at least three coaches. They should all offer you a 'chemistry call' free of charge.
ask what experience they have of working with people with your kind of issue.
ask about their training, supervision and CPD. None of this should put them on the back foot or surprise them at all. You're looking for at least hundreds of hours of coaching and membership of ILM
ask your work. They may well provide coaching for those who ask or are at a certain level, or they may provide a recommendation. Coaches working with senior business people usually have done a lot of work to get there, it's not just Sarah from down the road getting a bit of coaching from Clara up the street.
expect to pay quite a lot. A cheap rate should be an indication that this is an amateur.
ask them to be really clear how long they'll coach you and what success looks like. You want an end date. It's hard to say what that should be, as a good coach will work to your needs, but I'd suggest around 6 sessions would be a good starting point. Anyone saying 'this will take years' just wants your money. Coaching is supposed to give you the tools to coach yourself, it's never open-ended.

With all that in mind, coaching can be absolutely transformative especially if you're struggling with a decision or issue.

HereticFanjo · 25/12/2021 11:36

I had three sessions with a coach. It helped massively. Beware signing up for months at a time - 3 sessions helped me clarify the direction change I needed.

IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls · 25/12/2021 11:55

@TheDaydreamBelievers @HacerSonarSusPasos completely agree.

It can actually be detrimental- none of it is evidence based and much of it stems from NLP which is American and again none evidence based.

As a therapist i tried it for ten sessions just to be able to back up my concerns about it.

I came away even more concerned.

astoundedgoat · 25/12/2021 12:05

@BluebellsGreenbells

I met a life coach recently on a trip, she also has a life coach … not sure if I believe in them now!

No different from psychotherapy though, surely? And even dentists go to the dentist. :)

(I'm not a life coach, but in a related industry, and it's not uncommon to work with somebody further up the "food chain", so to speak.)

astoundedgoat · 25/12/2021 12:13

@MoveHouse what you said about being from working class background and now in a senior leadership role made a lot of sense. People from an educated or professional/affluent background get this kind of "coaching" for free growing up - it's all around them. The confidence, the belief that they deserve to occupy space, to lead etc. etc. (Boris Johnson is a perfect example of this).

If you DIDN'T grow up with this around you there are a lot of soft skills you just don't pick up along the way, and a good career-specific coach can be a goldmine to fill in those blanks.

I know people with their own online businesses as well as senior NHS doctors who have coaches specific to their professional needs.

"Its utter drivel ... barely any of it is evidence based and is aimed at middle class women who can find the money to waste on it" is complete nonsense.

As for general purpose life coaches... well, I think we are more isolated from each other as a community than we used to be, even within our own families. I have no siblings and my mother is dead. Sometimes I feel like I could get a lot of use out of a life coach to talk through all my stuff with - not a therapist, but someone a bit more "on the level".

astoundedgoat · 25/12/2021 12:18

[quote IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls]**@TheDaydreamBelievers* @HacerSonarSusPasos* completely agree.

It can actually be detrimental- none of it is evidence based and much of it stems from NLP which is American and again none evidence based.

As a therapist i tried it for ten sessions just to be able to back up my concerns about it.

I came away even more concerned. [/quote]
Defiitely agree with that. I HATE the whole NLP Tony Robbins crap. It's so manipulative.

Southbucksldn · 25/12/2021 12:22

I think you need to know what you want out of it in order to get the most out of it. Otherwise if you are vague then the whole thing will be wishy washy.
I found work mentoring more useful.
For proper life coaching I think several sessions over a long period is best but also very expensive.
The NLP and iffy psychology aspects are also painful so do check qualifications first.

Luredbyapomegranate · 25/12/2021 12:29

@BluebellsGreenbells

I met a life coach recently on a trip, she also has a life coach … not sure if I believe in them now!

It’s possibly good practice?

Therapists have therapists don’t they.