Health anxiety, I’m terrified

[healthanxietyhell]

I keep thinking something terrible is going to happen to me . I need to go to town to pick up repeat prescriptions before xmas and I can’t make myself leave the house in case something happens when I do .

I got my covid jab this week and they said several times about myocarditis and I’m scared I’ll develop that . I’m absolutely terrified of heart problems, I have OCD around it, I’m on beta blockers already for anxiety and still panicking that I might collapse in the chemist or on my way . I don’t know what to do except sit in the house and not move much - which is my usual coping strategy when I start to feel this way - but then I won’t have my beta blockers for Christmas .

I don’t know what to do . Christmas is hell for mental health .

I get attacks every so often when my heart skips then races and my hands and feet go numb but GP, hospital, A&as etc said that’s almost certainly normal ectopic beats and panic attacks .

That sounds really hard to deal with. I don't have any advice for you, as I have never experienced this myself, but I really feel for you, it must be incredibly hard work living with anxiety at this level. It sounds like you're doing really well considering.
There may be a pharmacy delivery service - eg for people who are isolating - maybe call the chemist? That's my only thought. All the best

I didn’t want to read and run. This happened to me a few years ago. We were abroad and the anxiety was crippling. I wrote out all my passwords and funeral wishes on my phone for my husband, and the travel insurance details for flying my body back. I remember the tight chest. The pure panic.

I can’t remember how I coped but when I got home I went to the doctors for medication and I started therapy. Now these recurrences are very, very rare.

You can get through this x

I have health anxiety around the heart and have done for years. At one point is was very severe so I get it.

In your position I would force myself to go and get your meds. You need them. And walking to and fro the pharmacy will help you realise you are nt going to keel over from a heart problem and if if you did have a health issue whilst out there would be people around to help you.

Make the journey and give yourself one up over the anxiety. It will be a personal win for you.

@ChoccySprinkles

Out of interest what sort of theapry helps?
I wrote out funeral wishes a while ago when I felt strange!

Op I am not as severe as you or other posters but I get these odd episodes where I start to panic.
I've had my heart thoughly checked out, etc.

And what helps is forcing myself to occupy myself... Emily in Paris? Good books... Films.. Music on.. Keeping moving seems to help sometimes, hot water bottle.

And I keep telling myself I can call 111 but people in other countries just have to muddle on through but they do and they do make it.

I live with health anxiety. My focus is on all things cardio and I get that it's a living hell feeling like you could just keel over at any moment.
You do need to go and get that prescription.
Those tablets will make you feel better. Ruminating about not having them is going to make you worse and getting outside for a short time will help you too.
The horrible feelings you are getting are down to anxiety. All that adrenaline sitting in your body as you're all worked up.
When I felt like you I used to walk and could feel the adrenaline being used and the more I walked and did things the better I felt. I could feel the anxiety leaving me.
Go to get the prescription and let us know when you're back. I'm sure you're outlook will have shifted and things won't feel so bad.

Hello OP. Yep, been there myself for the last few years. Do you know how it started?

I'm currently awaiting lab results from a mole I had removed. The dermatologist (private) said he didn't think it was melanoma, but an atypical mole I could choose to have removed or just keep an eye on. Of course I had to get him to remove him and of course I am torturing myself over the results. It is spoiling my Christmas.

I have done this sort of stuff continually since my first DH died. Currently having EMDR therapy for PTSD. Have you had any sort of therapy for this?

Handhold from me. It is terrifying.

@Sapphire387

Hello OP. Yep, been there myself for the last few years. Do you know how it started?

I'm currently awaiting lab results from a mole I had removed. The dermatologist (private) said he didn't think it was melanoma, but an atypical mole I could choose to have removed or just keep an eye on. Of course I had to get him to remove him and of course I am torturing myself over the results. It is spoiling my Christmas.

I have done this sort of stuff continually since my first DH died. Currently having EMDR therapy for PTSD. Have you had any sort of therapy for this?

Handhold from me. It is terrifying.

Cardiac stuff started ten ++ years ago when I was in a lecture at uni and felt very anxious and then noticed a defib on the wall and that was me, panic somehow associated with them and the worry that I might need one one day . Then discovered sudden death syndrome on google and that was that .

Since then - partly due to a slight family history - I’ve had well over 50 ECGs, at least 2/3 a year if not more, holter monitors, treadmill and an echo and always told I’m fine . Due an echo again but long wait lists just now . I find it so hard to believe them when doctors say it’s all fine as I keep getting those ectopics .

Since been diagnosed with CPTSD/developmental trauma and OCD; I’ve been told there’s nothing the NHS can do for either though and just directed towards self help stuff .

I’ve managed to get the meds, had to get a taxi but got them . Came home and managed to do a tiny bit of Christmas cooking . I’ve got valium but only 3 left and desperately trying to stop them slowly - been on them for three weeks on and off - ended up having another one of those funny attacks earlier where suddenly felt very faint and hot and heart racing . It’s like a feeling that I’m falling forward, it’s weird.

It’s the most horrible, horrible way to feel, I’ve been ten years now worried I’m going to keel over and desperate for a break . Even if I get an ECG the reassurance only lasts a day or so .

I’m sorry you’re going through this OP. I don’t have any advice but can say you’re not alone. I’ve had health anxiety for about 7 years. I have periods when I feel ok and then something will happen and it feels so bad I almost can’t imagine how I will ever function normally again. I try to seek reassurance but nothing will satisfy me at these times. I don’t know what to do to ‘fix’ my issue for good. Sending you best wishes and understanding.

@healthanxietyhell well done for getting your meds and doing some cooking, that's an achievement when you are feeling so anxious.

All those times you thought you were about to die. And has it happened? You are still here.

I'm sorry to hear you haven't been getting proper help on the NHS though. Sounds like they have been doing well with the heart stuff but what you actually need is help with your mental health. I'm not sure where you are located - I'm in London and I managed to get specific trauma therapy but I did pay to see a private psychiatrist who wrote to my GP for me. It was a lot of money and I don't think I should have had to do it, but I consider it money well spent.

But mostly, just have my sympathies. It is a really, really shit way to feel.

I have a relative with very severe medical /health anxiety they’ve had to receive help form local mental health services. There are things you can do to help you and I’d encourage you to look in to cognitive behavioural techniques. They have turned out to be really helpful for my relative to get important health care they needed. They use a range of strategies to plan ahead for treatment, or manage stress and panic attacks.

[quote Imdreamingofapeacefulxmas]@ChoccySprinkles

Out of interest what sort of theapry helps?
I wrote out funeral wishes a while ago when I felt strange![/quote]
I did CBT and then some hypnotherapy. How are you feeling?

You can try something called 'graded exposure'. The best thing to do is self refer to mental health services and they can put a plan in place for you. I developed a severe driving phobia and it seriously helped doing the graded exposure exercises (they're all online). Only needed 2 sessions of 6 and now it is gone. After two years of non stop phobia. Can't believe how well it worked tbh.