My mother's hand

[littlebilliie]

After a dreadful year of serious illness and the gradual decline to my mother's health. My mother's care has deemed to restrict care home visits this week.

My DB and I have been visiting each week and my mother's mental health is very poor due to her physical health and dementia. We all feel this could be her last Christmas.

Last night, the home ( which is part of large national group) confirmed that forms needed to be completed before the visit and who they allow in is at their discretion. This is above and beyond the new Government guidance who allow 3 visitors and a designated family carer.

We had planned to have a small sherry and mince pie with her and to give her her presents.

We always hold hands and although I am wearing gloves. I am so sad they are denying this interaction this Christmas.

Sending love OP
It’s all just hideous

Oh that's awful, so sorry OP x

Have they said you can't go? I would expect the "at their discretion" is to cover themselves against people coming in obviously coughing and spluttering? I hope you can go x

I can't see my mum in her dementia home either, they are on lockdown due to a confirmed Covid case in the home. Very upsetting

Whose going to know if you remove your gloves and hold her hand if you visit her in her bedroom? Use alcohol gel and hold her hand.

We have a lot of visitors in our dementia nursing home tomorrow. I'm working and it's going to be a crazy busy. We will get everyone with a visit ready early as the visit has to be in their room. Most visits are in the morning and won't be long, just popping in to give a present and say happy Christmas. A few are coming for Lunch, which mean those residents are stuck in their room and will miss the interaction and dinner in the dining room, but will have a relative with them. Everywhere is short staffed, I just hope the families understand this as we are no different from any other social care setting and will be stretched to breaking. All staff are coming in dressed up in Christmas outfits to make it special and will be going home after a 12 hour shift absolutely shattered. We will not refuse any family a visit on Christmas Day, so long as they have a negative LFT. That why it'll be so busy. It's cruel to stop them coming in

I hope you go too and I would-be holding her hand. I don't get this must wear gloves nonsense that has gone on since the beginning of this pandemic, gloves and a plastic pinny aren't magic. They're fine for carers providing personal care and going between different patients (so changing each patient) for a relative coming from outside they'll do nothing as long as hands are washed in-between.

As long as you thoroughly wash your hands and you wash hers before you leave it'll be fine. It's a known fact that skin to skin contact is massively important for connection particularly with dementia sufferers, touch has memory.

One of the biggest sadnesses of this is the elderly lonely people denied contact in homes

We were allowed it, thanks for your support.

I'm not sure how 2022 will look but I hope I can take her out for a walk again in the spring