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Original poster

Neighbour alone at Christmas

21 replies

emoshatchristmas · 23/12/2021 20:54

I've put cards through the houses in our streets letterboxes this year 'wishing you a happy and healthy Christmas etc'

We've been out, and come back to a card in reply.

'Thank you for your card and well wishes as I am on my own. Best wishes, Steve (not his real name)'

This has made me feel really really sad. I believe I know who the chap is (there's only 25 houses on our street) and apart from the usual good morning we've never spoken. He's an elderly man.

I don't know why it's made me feel so
sad. He's might still have family for all I know, but I don't know. I always find this time of year lonely, and I'm surrounded by people, my husband and children.

Thinking I'm just letting it all out really!

OP posts:

Mum2jenny · 23/12/2021 20:56

Is he wanting an invite would be my first thoughts?

UpturnedUmbrella · 23/12/2021 20:57

What if you went round and gave him a box of chocolates or something on Christmas morning? Or invited him for a mince pie or similar?

Original poster

emoshatchristmas · 23/12/2021 21:14

I did wonder that. But it won't be possible to invite him round. I have an autistic daughter who struggles to have people in the house that aren't very close extended family (grandparents for instance are fine). It would make her extremely anxious and I just can't do that to her on Christmas Day.

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Original poster

emoshatchristmas · 23/12/2021 21:15

Giving him a box of choccies or something would be a nice thought, I might do that.

OP posts:

Hoppinggreen · 23/12/2021 21:19

There could be good reasons why he’s on his own.
Sil brought her next door neighbour to mils a few years ago for Xmas dinner as she was alone. Turns out she is a complete cow.
Me and DH have refused to go again if she’s invited - and even mil who is usually “the more the merrier” said never again

Original poster

emoshatchristmas · 23/12/2021 21:22

I hate the thought of people on their own, especially at Christmas. But I would struggle to bring a complete stranger into my home, my 'safe space'.

OP posts:

HowRudeolfYou · 23/12/2021 21:43

My neighbour is also on his own but he seems to be late 20s so much younger, he works all kinds of shifts so I've taken a few parcels for him recently. I know he's on his own and I feel bad but I also don't know him well enough to have him in my home on Xmas day. I know nothing about him as he's not from the area so I don't feel comfortable having a man in my home who I don't know. I have offered to plate him a Xmas lunch up and my husband will take it round for him and he seemed very happy with that offer. I don't want to be making small talk with a stranger in Xmas day and my own teen dd feeling awkward.

LynetteScavo · 23/12/2021 21:51

You don't have to have him in, knock on his door and have a chat, take him some mince pies it Christmas biscuits or something. I get that you can't have him in your home- but just be as friendly as you can.

OhLookMoreShit · 23/12/2021 21:54

I'm on my own most of the time, I'm 37. If someone gave me a pity invite I'd be utterly mortified and would feel even shitter about myself. I wouldn't be offended just embarrassed. But then I wouldn't write it in a Christmas card 🤔

Dorismargaret · 23/12/2021 21:57

I think going round with some chocs and a quick chat would make his day or month! You'd probs feel all fuzzy inside too.

GoodVibesHere · 23/12/2021 22:00

There's no way I'd invite him in for dinner, the man could be a horrible arsehole whose family have gone NC due to his abusive behaviour. You know nothing about him. I mean he could be a lovely bloke, but I wouldn't want to experiment and find out on Christmas Day.

To be honest I don't think I'd give chocolates to a stranger it would seem odd.

CorsicaDreaming · 23/12/2021 22:05

@emoshatchristmas

I hate the thought of people on their own, especially at Christmas. But I would struggle to bring a complete stranger into my home, my 'safe space'.

I think your idea of taking round chocolates is nice - and just have a chat with him on his doorstep for ten minutes or so, he may well
Value that as much if not more than the chocolates. You could do it tomorrow- I don't think it has to be Christmas Day.

Nosnowthisyear · 23/12/2021 22:13

Yes take a box of biscuits round and have a quick chat on his doorstep.

Mischance · 23/12/2021 22:14

Make him a few mince pies and pop round with them on the day.

Mischance · 23/12/2021 22:14

I think something home made has a special feel to it.

AvocadoAndToast · 23/12/2021 22:20

Could you plate him up a Christmas dinner if you are cooking? Even if he’s got something in a home made dinner would be nice and it won’t cost you in time/ expense if you’ve over catered as most of us do at Xmas!

I’ve done this for elderly neighbours in the past and it went down well. You could mention it to him tomorrow?

GrendelsGrandma · 23/12/2021 22:21

I think you should only be prepared to make further contact if you're happy to chat whenever you see him and make it an ongoing thing. It's a bit weird if you give him something at Christmas because he's lonely but ignore him the rest of the time.

I'd say hello when you see him and build on it if he seems nice, frankly you could end up with too much on your hands or upsetting him if you go in being very friendly then want to reduce it afterwards.

Nanalisa60 · 23/12/2021 22:27

We use to have a old man living opposite us, every Sunday I would send the boys over with his Sunday dinner and also sent over his Christmas dinner. We did that for quite a few years eventually he went in to a home, and I would pop in every now and again to see him and take in a fine piece. I would have had him in my house for dinner but unfortunately he smelt, but he was always please with a home cooked dinner or a pan of soup being dropped off at the door.

DoncasterHombre · 23/12/2021 23:28

@OhLookMoreShit

Couldn't agree more witht these words.

Original poster

emoshatchristmas · 24/12/2021 15:29

Hi everyone, thanks for your words and advice.

I decided to leave it today. I couldn't even be 100% sure it's the chap I think it is. I've decided that I will keep an eye out after Christmas for him, and generally try to make more conversation etc when I see him (I'm actually waiting for confirmation from one of my other neighbours that he is who I think he is)

One on hand I feel terribly guilty that he's feeling lonely at Christmas, but on the other I am thinking that my family and daughter are my priority, and making the day comfortable for them. So I've decided to put it to the back of my mind, and revisit it after Christmas.

OP posts:

Hoppinggreen · 24/12/2021 15:35

You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about

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